SpongeBob SquarePants/Quotes/Season 2: Difference between revisions
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:'''SpongeBob''': TADA! A perfect Patty.
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:'''Painty''': Aargh! I be just a paintin' of a head.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy.
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:'''Mr. Krabs''': Get away barbarian, look what you've done! Nice, clean money, SOILED!
:'''Patrick''': SpongeBob?
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:'''SpongeBob''': That didn't help at all!
:'''Squidward''': ''[deadpan]'' Rage. Fury. Irritation. Humiliation.
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:'''Squidward''': That’s it! I quit! [he rips off his uniform, revealing nothing under it. A police whistle is blown and a cop comes over. He writes him a ticket and places it on his crotch]
:''[Patrick showing SpongeBob his award]''
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:'''Patrick''': At least I'm safe inside my mind
:'''Squidward''': ''[to SpongeBob]'' How am I supposed to enjoy your day off if you come to work anyway?!
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:'''Tom''': No, but are we just going to wait around until he does?!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': So, are you ready?
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:'''Squidward''': Ouch...
:'''PLANKTON''': ( ''disguised as Robot Mr. Krabs'' ) Don't listen to him. He's obviously a robot.
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:'''MR. KRABS''': What is today, but Yesterday's Tomorrow.
:'''Squidward''': Well, if moron theater is over, why don't we just have a look at this monster?
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:'''Patrick''': WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!
:'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Patrick, are you angry too?
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:''[While Mr. Krabs is shouting for SpongeBob, he is too busy rubbing two pickles together]''
:'''Patrick''': Being grown up is boring. I love being a baby. Besides, I don't get jazz.
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:'''SpongeBob''': ''[sweetly]'' Tell me another story about when I was a baby!
:''[Squidward answers his telephone]''
:'''Squidward:''' 304 New Life Street. Squidward speaking.
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:'''Squidward''': This city needs to be destroyed! ... Or at least painted a different color.
:'''Sandy''': I'm hotter than a hickory smoked sausage!
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:'''SpongeBob''': We've got to move fast and cover our tracks!
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:'''Police''': Yeah, on free balloon day!
:'''Squidward''': I can't believe anyone would celebrate a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks into your house and leaves gifts.
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:'''Mr. Krabs''': [''soprano's voice''] The very first Christmas to me!!
:'''Patrick''': Hey look, she's on the eating channel
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:'''Patrick''': Did you win? ''[gets hit by the stick and rolls down hill speaking gibberish]'' Hi Spongebob.
:'''SPONGEBOB''': ( ''weeps'' ) Oh, Gary, why did you have to go? Why, Gary? ( ''beats the wall with his fist in his anguish'' ) Why, why, why, why, why?
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:( ''Gary pulls a cookie out of Patrick's pocket and eats it'' )
:'''Narrator''': Here we are again at the Bikini Bottom Boating School. Today is once again the day of SpongeBob's boating school exam. But more importantly, this is the last test for the year, and if SpongeBob does not pass this one, it means another whole year of BOATING SCHOOL! ''[SpongeBob hits the Narrator, who groans in pain]''
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:'''Spongebob''': [disguided as radio] And now back to K.R.U.D. with all of your personal ''["You won't get away with stealing my car!"]'' hits! ''[climbs out of radio hole, Mrs. Puff screams]''
:'''SpongeBob''': But I was your biggest fan!
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:'''Kevin''': Will you cut that out?!
:''[Man-Ray sits on the floor with a hand over his face, pretending to cry]''
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:'''Man-Ray''': No need to be alarmed, SpongeBob. Your teachings have transformed me. Besides, I have checks with little poodles on them!
:'''Mother''': Don't stand too close to a squirrel, Billy. You'll catch its stupid!
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:'''Patrick''': ''[to Sandy, voice is slow and exaggerated/drwn-out]'' Hhhheeeellllooooo...... Sssannnnddddyyyyy........ mmeeeee Ppaaaaattricckkk...doooooooo yoooouuuuu un-der...staaaaaaaaaaand?
:'''Sandy''': I'm a squirrel. See? ''[points to the acorn logo on her suit]''
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:'''Seagulls''': Hooray... ''[their bodies are completely naked because of Sandy's karate]''
:'''Patrick''': If I saw that guy, I'd have a few choice words for him. Like "you" and "are" and "a jerk"!
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:'''P.A. Announcer''': Attention all Zoo patrons, Clamu the Sea Oyster is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[panicked]'' Squidward! The sky had a baby from my cereal box! SQUIIIDWAAARD! ''[Squidward pops head out of window]'' Squidward, the sky had a baby. ''[points to anchor in house]''
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* '''Flying Dutchman''': "Whosoever disturbs the Flying Dutchman's ship, uninvited or otherwise, will become members of his ghostly crew forever and uh,... ever!"<br/>'''Squidward''': "Will we be getting business cards?"<br/>''(The Flying Dutchman burns Squidward with flames from his nostril, causing Squidward to scream.)''
:''[SpongeBob, in his attempt to get Gary to bathe, has fallen into a giant mud puddle]''
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:'''Spongebob''': Oh, no! I bathed Gary too hard and removed his skin!
:'''SpongeBob''': The sign says "kitchen," but my heart says "jail."
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:'''Plankton''': SpongeBob, come in here! Or should I say RobotBob....Sponge...ChefPants... I put the brain in the robot, you know.
:'''Patrick''': ''[dazed after a giant wrench falls on his head]'' Where's the leak, ma'am?
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:'''Patrick''': ''[woozily]'' You're welcome.
:'''SpongeBob''': What could be in that box that Patrick doesn't want me to see? Maybe it's the world's only [[wikipedia:Albinism|albino jellyfish]]... or maybe Patrick's a master jewel thief and it's full of diamonds. ''[nervously]'' Or maybe Patrick's a deranged maniac who keeps his victim's severed heads in a box! Or even worse...maybe it's an embarrassing picture of me at the Christmas party! ''[screams]''
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:''[Squidward plays the clarinet poorly. There is a knock at door and he answers]''
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:'''Squidward''': Oh, I, uh, uh, uh...
:'''Squilliam''': I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now!
:'''Squidward''': ''[[angry at the comment]]'' HOLD IT! ''[Squilliam perks up as he was about to hang up]'' It just so happens that I ''don't'' sell fast food! I ''do'' have a band, and we're going to play at that Bubble Bowl! How do you like that, fancy boy?
:'''Squilliam''': Good luck next Tuesday! I hope the audience brings lots of IBUPROFIN! ''[hangs up]''
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:'''Squidward''': I knew this was going to happen. They're just going to have to find another band to play. I just hope that...''[[sees Squilliam]]'' SQUILLIAM DOESN'T FIND OUT! SQUILLIAM! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! What are you doing here?!
:'''Squilliam''': ''[laughs]'' I just wanted to watch you blow it! So, where's your band?
:'''Squidward''': They couldn't come, they...died.
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:'''Larry the Lobster''': "Practice begins tonight. 8:30 sharp."
* "I can't stay out here all night, I got a life."
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:'''All''': ''[playfully]'' NOSFERATU!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': That's a penny short! ''[cries]''
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:'''Mr. Krabs''':(''angry'') Not ''that'' fine! (''happy'') SpongeBob! (''angry'') SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
:'''SpongeBob''': I could not ask for a more beautiful day to write an essay. ''[looks outside and sees a tree and mountains]''
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:'''Fire''': Only seven hundred ninety nine more words to go!
:'''Patrick''': You know something, SpongeBob, it's all fun and games for you! Nothing really matters! ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, let's go jellyfishing! We don't have any work to do! ''[angrily]'' Life's just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews, and nobody has anything to dust, or to clean, or to wipe-- ''[getting increasingly worked up]'' --OR FABRICATE!
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:'''Patrick''': And I got this message from my parents. ''[hands spongebob another piece of paper]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Hello customers. Nice ''[Dolphin Chirps]'' day we're having, huh?
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:''[SpongeBob, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs burst out laughing]''
:'''Squidward''': Let's start from square one. Or should I say, ''circle'' one. ''[draws a wobbly-looking circle]'' Am I going too fast for you, SpongeBob?
:'''SpongeBob''': How's this, Squidward? ''[he has drawn a perfect circle]''
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:'''Squidward''': Let's go dark.
:'''Patrick''': D'oh, c'mon, you're just flipping patties.
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:'''Plankton''': ''[after Patrick and SpongeBob make up]'' Hey! Get back here and kill each other!
:'''Squidward''': Nobody cares about the fate of laborers as long as they can get their instant gratification.
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:'''SpongeBob''': Krusty Krab is unfair. Mr. Krabs is in there, standing at the consession, plotting his opression.
:'''Sandy''': Who's the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom? ''[pulls a live-action boat down underwater by its anchor]''
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