Squishy Wizard/Quotes

Some guys get chain or plate
or a big-ass sword that does one dice eight
I get a lantern and a ten-foot pole
and some robes and this thing that does
one dice four...one dice four...

I only do 1D4...
—Jinx of Jinx.com, "Always the First to Die"

Five guys and a bag of dice,
It's Friday night's game.
Got a cleric and a fighter, thief,
But we ain't got a mage.
Friends, they all looked at me
And they said the job was mine.
[[Linear Warriors, Quadratic Wizards "You might suck at level one,
But you'll rip at level nine!"]]

So we're playing the Keep, so we entered the town
To stock up for the night.
I learned the two standard spells,
Magic Missile and Light.
Suddenly from out of the caves,
The Kobolds, they attacked.
I screamed and shit my pants
And took a dagger in the back!

That's why I'm always the first to die
I'm always the first to die
Yeah, I'm always the first to die

I'm always the first to die.
—Jinx, "Always the First to Die"

"...it is often difficult for magic users to survive. Their few weapons and spells (at low levels) balance against the power they eventually achieve. Therefore, magic-users must be cautious at lower levels, as few will survive long without protection. Your magic user should not go on adventures alone; because of his low defenses and hit points, one surprise could kill him. In groups, he should always stay in the middle of the party, protected from attacks, and use his magic in ways that will help win the fight."

—Aaron Allston, from page 19 of the Dungeons and Dragons Rules Cyclopedia. And he's not kidding either.