Stage Door/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Most of Jean and Linda's warring insults, but especially this exchange:

Linda: Do you know, I think I could fix you up with Mr. Powell's chauffeur. The chauffeur has a very nice car too.
Jean: Yes, but I understand Mr. Powell's chauffeur doesn't go as far in his car as Mr. Powell does.

Linda: Even a chauffer has to have an incentive!

Jean: Well, you should know!

  • When a reluctant Jean meets the dates she and Judy are going to dinner with.

Eve: Pleasant little foursome. I predict a hatchet murder before the night is over.

  • Even at an even meant to be heartwarming, like Kaye's birthday party, there's always a chance to snark on the cooking:

Kaye: (looking at her cake) It's so beautiful I'm afraid to cut it.
Judy: That's one of Hattie's cakes; maybe you can't cut it.
Hattie: I resent that!
Linda: Be careful you don't drop it on your foot.

  • Jean, resentful of Anthony Powell because he's the boyfriend of her foe Linda, is ready to start something with him until Annie points out he owns half of the club they just performed in:

Jean: Oh. I thought it was funny that we should happen to get this job all of a sudden.
Annie: And then came the dawn.

Jean: You don't suppose he had anything to do with our being here?

Annie: Attagirl, Sherlock. I'll bet ya you could put two and two together and get something out of it.

  • The other women, especially Judy, tease Butch, the butcher and Hattie's date to Terry's play. The best part, though, is this line:

Eve: Remember, Hattie, don't do anything Butch wouldn't do.

  • "I bet you could boil a terrific pan of water."