Stupid Jetpack Hitler: Difference between revisions

With few [[Cloudcuckoolander|exceptions]], pretty much [[Acceptable Targets|everyone agrees]] that the Nazis were very, very bad, what with the socio-political repression, the institutionalized racialist policies, the wars of aggression against their neighbours, the mass imprisonment and murder of dissidents and undesirables, and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|forever ruining the reputation of eugenics and social darwinism as serious academic disciplines]]. So, how do you make [[Those Wacky Nazis]] even more intimidating? Why, by giving them [[Clothes Make the Superman|power]] [[Powered Armor|armor]] and [[Aliens and Monsters|alien allies]], of course!

Despite this reputation for advanced technology, the reality was that most Nazi super-weapons were no more advanced than comparable allied projects and in some cases were actually behind the research curve. The first operational jet aircraft to see action was indeed flown by the Germans, but by 1945 German jet engines lagged far behind allied designs in power output and reliability. The unorthodox "futuristic" German aircraft designs were largely unworkable exercises in theoretical possibilities while more practical ideas, like long-range strategic bombers and aircraft carriers, never got off the drawing boards. This was largely due to political interference. Members of the Nazi High Command were notorious for [[Executive Meddling|meddling]] with weapons programs in ways that largely reduced or eliminated the potential gains. They also tended to continually support the development of ''offensive'' weapons over ''defensive'' ones, even as their armies were retreating on all fronts, since Nazi Party doctrine didn't allow for "defeatist" thinking. It has been suggested that the real purpose for the so-called Wunderwaffe wasn't to create superweapons at all, but to keep German designers well away from the Russian Front.

Nonethless, if you have to pick one WWII power to give antigravity and a [[Iron Sky (Film)|moonbase]], the choice is obvious; after all, it's boring if the good guys have all the toys. Not to mention that Einstein (though a pacifist and a Jew, so ''hardly'' on [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]'s Christmas card list) was German (and there are a lot of rumours that the reason why America wanted nuclear power fast is because they thought Nazi Germany would develop it first), and [[Nikola Tesla|Tesla]], although actually Serbo-Croatian (a Slav, so a member of ''another'' of Hitler's exterminate-on-sight groups), is [[Did Not Do the Research|frequently confused]] with this due to the country being part of the Austrian Empire when he was born. Needless to say, the theme is played upon endlessly in [[Two-Fisted Tales|pulp callbacks]] and modern occult works.

Contrast [[Nazis With Gnarly Weapons]], which is about the weapons they had in [[Real Life]]. See also [[Ghostapo]], where Nazis uses super-demonry rather than (or ''[[Magitek|combined with]]'') super-science; and [[Soviet Superscience]], when it's the [[Dirty Commies]] showing up with giant robots and spaceships. Compare [[Historical Villain Upgrade]].

== Films ==

* ''[[Captain America: The First Avenger (Film)|Captain America the First Avenger]]'' has Hydra with all sorts of technology way ahead of their time. Although with the exception of the laser guns, all their cool equipment, including the rocket helicopter and cool plane at the end, were actually real life Wunderwaffen designs that were made usable and practical by the power of the cosmic cube.

* ''[[They Saved Hitlers Brain (Film)|They Saved Hitlers Brain]]''.

* The Nazi propaganda cartoon [[Wartime Cartoon|shown in]] ''[[The Rocketeer (Film)|The Rocketeer]]'' film has an entire army of jetpack Nazis. The movie itself is a subversion. {{spoiler|It was explained despite the Nazis' numerous efforts to create a working jetpack, they were unable to, and the plot of the movie revolves around attempting to steal one from the Americans.}}

* Animated Polish feature ''[http://www.hardkor44.pl/ Hardkor '44]'' (currently in production) pits the insurgents during Warsaw Uprising against a whole friggin' army of Nazi cyborgs. Click the middle icon on the film's webpage to download zipped concept art.

* Sci-fi's Reign of the Gargoyles: After their bomber goes down, Allied forces must confront huge, stone gargoyles brought to life and controlled by, you guessed it, the Nazis.

* ''Lightning'', by [[Dean Koontz]] has the Nazis in possession of a working {{spoiler|[[Time Machine]]}}, which they intend to use to win WWII by {{spoiler|finding out from our time just what went wrong for them when and changing it}}. Too bad their {{spoiler|chrononaut}} fell in love with a {{spoiler|1980s novelist.....}}

* Phillip K. Dick's novel ''Man in the High Castle'' describes an [[Alternate History|alternate 1963]] in which Germany and Japan won WWII. The Nazis have developed rockets into a substitute for airplanes and are sending manned rockets throughout the solar system. It is also mentioned that they have drained the Mediterranean Sea, an engineering task requiring advanced technology if ever there was one!

* In the ''[[Axis of Time]]'' [[Alternate History]] trilogy, thanks to Japan sending captured data, such as body armor and jet engines, to Nazi Germany, the Reich is now much more confident in winning the war. However, the Allies and the Soviets also have access to the technology brought from the future {{spoiler|and the initial trilogy ends with Germany and Japan being nuked out of existence, with the Soviet Union in an even stronger position than it was at the end of the War in the real timeline}}.

* Zach Parsons' book ''My Tank is Fight!'' uses and subverts this: it gives detailed statistics on various rejected inventions of WWII (mostly German ones), and then [[Alternate History|imagines what they would have been]] like in the field. Most of them fail spectacularly. With the exception of {{spoiler|the nuclear bombing of New York, though it doesn't avert the defeat of Germany}}.

* [[David Langford]] and John Grant's disaster novel parody ''Earthdoom'' features Adolf Hitler time-travelling to modern-day Britain, and subsequently cloning himself using a farmer's livestock cloning machine. (The multiple Hitlers then end up on board one of the alien spaceships orbiting Earth at the time, where the aliens deal with them by broadcasting the looped message 'Can you trust the person next to you? He looks a bit semitic to me...')

* ''[[Danger Boy]]: Dragon Sword'' subverts this- a Nazi rocket scientist loudly declares "I am not INTERESTED in traveling through time or making contact with space aliens!"

* An illustrated story based on Isaac Asimov's robot concepts involved the Nazis building a terrifying robot nicknamed the Iron Major. Since the robot was possessed by a mad scientist (and it ate human brains), they only succeeded in making one of it.

* The novel ''1945'' tells of an alternate 1945 where the Nazis, unencumbered by American involvement in the European War, now patrol the skies of Fortress Europa with a fleet of stealth jet-bombers and rocket planes.

* Although by far not as extreme as fictional examples, the [[Real Life]] [[Nazi Germany]] did have a limited technological edge on the Allies & Soviets, in some areas of equipment. The following examples show both the strengths and weaknesses of their design efforts.

** The Messerschmitt Me 262, which was barely edged out by the Gloster Meteor in being the first operational jet fighter. It was marginally the highest-performance fighter in the war. It was fast but had very poor acceleration. Its armament was devastating if the guns actually hit anything but they were slow-firing and had poor ballistic performance making aiming difficult. It lacked in maneuverability and, combined with its engine's tendency to flame out and die during tight maneuvers, this made it an easy kill once cornered (reportedly one was even shot down by a Russian P-39 Airacobra). It exceeded early marks of the Meteor in performance although later Meteors reversed the situation and were much faster. Arguably, it could have been in service earlier if the engines hadn't been so appalingly unreliable. The unavailability of suitable engines was the single most important reason why the Me-262 didn't enter full operational service until October 1944. The often-reported suggestion that it was delayed by Hitler wanting it to be used as a bomber has long been discredited. It ended up being too little too late and was usually grounded due to fuel shortages or logistical issues.

** The Type-XXI U-Boat, aka. the Elektroboote was an effort to design a submarine that could survive under attack from the Allies overwhelming air power. Previously, most submarines were surface vessels which were capable of going undersea for short bursts of time to launch an attack before having to surface again. The Type-XXI was capable of remaining under for a significantly longer time, and was stealthier and faster than previous U-boats. The Type XXI paid for this by losing its gun armament and much of its search capability making it a less efficient commerce destroyer. In effect, it traded off effectiveness in its primary role to gain a measure of survivability, Although 118 hulls were completed by the end of the war, only a pathetic 4 vessels made it to operational status - too few to make a difference. However, the allies already had full performance specs on the Type XXI, had reconstructed two diesel-electric submarines to simulate its performance and had evolved the weapons and tactics needed to handle it. Type XXI would have meant the convoy battles would have restarted after a gap of two years but it was far from the war-winner it is usually projected as being. Post-war analysis showed that it was extremely complex and over-engineered and gained performance by using high-discharge, very short-life batteries. Allied submarines were able to get similar performance without the associated drawbacks by modifying existing designs.

** There was also the Me 163, the world's first and to date only, pure rocket-powered combat aircraft. Designed for the single purpose of intercepting and destroying allied bombers in one-shot hit-&-run passes, it was (at best) marginally effective. The final analysis was that it actually killed more of its own pilots than those of the enemy, owing to the fact that it's fuel supply was not only highly-explosive, but corrosive enough to ''dissolve'' the pilot. <ref>To clarify and expand: as a true rocket, the Me 163 carried both a fuel and an oxidant. The fuel was hydrazine: highly flammable (of course), highly reactive, ''and'' rather toxic; forms an explosive, ''poisonous'' vapour in air. The oxidant was high-concentration hydrogen peroxide: it corrodes metal (such as its own fuel tanks), spontaneously combusts with any dry organic matter (aircraft interior, pilot's flying suit), and yes, dissolves flesh. The pilot had a tank of this right behind him, and two more in the cockpit panels either side of him.</ref> Like almost all German aircraft, it never was deployed in large enough numbers to be effective due to shortages of both strategic materials and trained pilots.

** The V-1 (Fi-103) cruise missile and the V-2 (A-4) ballistic missile did gain a lot of infamy. <ref>The V stood for ''Vergeltungswaffe'' = "vengeance/reprisal weapon".</ref> Guided weapons such as the Fritz-X bomb also existed, but were very rare. The V-2 (aka A-4) was a ballistic missile, captured examples of which were used after the war by both America and the Soviet Union. Both countries actually built some A-4s and redesigned the missile so it would be easier to build and more capable. Also, Werner von Braun, who designed it, went on to head the team that designed the Saturn family of rockets which allowed the US to win the Moon race. It is worth noting that the US had its own rocket teams and von Braun's group was only one of several design groups. They contributed to the Saturn program as much, if not more, than von Braun.

*** Although rather inaccurate, quite a number of V-2s missed their target (London) due to British intelligence leaking claims of overshots for the early hits and having successful hits reported as "gas explosions", in response to which the German rocketeers recalibrated their rockets to account for this, though in reality it meant that most now fell short.

** The [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c8/Karl6.jpg Karl Device] was a 24-inch tracked mortar - the largest self-propelled gun ever to see service, each [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/89/Warsaw_Uprising_by_Joachimczyk_-_Dud_in_Adria_-_459.jpg shell] weighed over ''two tonnes''. Each one needed a crane, a heavy transport trailer, and a group of modified tanks to carry the ammo. They were used to shell the Soviet forces holding out in the Brest Fortress - each shot ruptured eardrums and the concussive force could rupture the lungs of people ''sheltering underground''. They were later used to destroy buildings during the Warsaw Uprising, and yes, those two tonne shells did a [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/85/Warsaw_Uprising_-_Prudential_Hit_-_frame_2a.jpg lot of damage].

** Small cheap wire-controlled vehicles for blowing up paths in minefields. Pretty mundane by modern standards, but cutting edge and brilliant for the time. These were actually pretty good and one of the very few wunderwaffe concepts actually to be worth getting paper dirty over.

** The [[MG 213]]. In [[WW 2]] aircraft guns had three characteristics, shell weight (this destructive power), rate of fire (and thus chance of getting a hit) and muzzle velocity (ease of aiming). Pick two. The Americans with the .50 went for rate of fire and muzzle velocity but sacrificed shell weight, the Germans either went for shell weight and muzzle velocity and sacrificed rate of fire or went for shell weight and rate of fire and sacrificed muzzle velocity. The British with their 20mm went for an average that settled for the best they could get in all three thus producing probably the best aircraft gun in [[WW 2]]. By 1944, the Germans were sick of their pilots complaining about their guns so they wanted a design that gave the best possible result in all three categories. The result was the [[MG 213]] revolver cannon. In a normal cannon, there is one chamber into which the shell is inserted, fired, and withdrawn. That takes time. The Germans built a gun with three chamber that rotated past the barrel. At any one time, one chamber is being loaded, one fired and the third cleared. Result, rate of fire tripled with no scarfice of shell weight or velocity. This was a genuine breakthrough and the design is still used in aircraft guns today (like the British ADEN, the French DEFA and the US Mark 12). The downside is that it was a heavy, complex gun and it burned a lot of ammunition very fast. That made it unsuitable for smaller aircraft and it was the 1950s before it was a really practical weapon. But, all in all, the [[MG 213]] was probably the closest the Germans actually came to a real wunderwaffe.

** The Germans were also working with radio navigation, which worked well for a while until the British worked out how to defeat each system in turn. The allies utilised some similar systems later in the war.

* The Allies had advanced weapons and projects of their own. They simply took the political decision that what they had was good enough and that changing over to the new design would disrupt logistics and make the war last longer than needed.

** The Americans also linked radar and guns with mechanical analog computers. Ship and anti-aircraft guns then became far more accurate. 90% of V-1 buzz bombs, and many manned bombers, were shot down.

** Also an effective British secret weapon: signal intelligence (codebreaking). The British codebreaking operation at Bletchley Park was so good that it frequently outstripped its usefulness. Available intelligence on German operations could sometimes not be given to military commanders because the tactical benefit was outweighed by the strategic cost of revealing how good the codebreakers were. Also, the entire shebang was so heavily classified that the codebreakers didn't receive full recognition for their achievements for 50 years after the war.

** '' '''Sonar.''' ''

** The Allies also had [[Mad Scientist|Barnes Wallis]], who designed the bouncing bomb, the Grand Slam and Tallboy bombs (which played merry hell with those conrete U-boat pens), and aircraft that could still fly [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/94/Vickers_Wellington_Mark_X%2C_HE239_%27NA-Y%27%2C_of_No._428_Squadron_RCAF_%28April_1943%29.png despite this kind of punishment].

** A strong argument could be made that it was the Allies who had the technological advantages that counted. The Nazis had a lot of impressive, flashy stuff, but much of it either turned out not to be practically useful and/or too costly to produce on any practical level, and the development projects sucked away precious resources that might have served the Germans better if they had been devoted to conventional weapons. Not to mention their xenophobia drove many of the best of the best away from Europe. The allies, on the other hand, were more pragmatic and had many small but critical advantages in areas (and times) that actually mattered. The superior range of the P-51, the RAF's revolutionary air defense system in the Battle of Britain, the sloping armor of Soviet T-34 tanks (superior in all respects to the Panzer MkIII's that were Germany's predominant tank during the period of the big decisive tank battles on the Eastern Front), etc. And particularly in the areas of radar and computers (code-breaking), the Allies had a HUGE edge, and these two technologies were arguably DECISIVELY critical.

*** In Germany's defense, by the latter half of the war, they had no hope of winning a conventional contest with conventional weapons, due to the disparity in manufacturing power, and they knew it. So gambling on superweapons was really their only hope of winning. However, that was (and always has been) a fool's gamble.

** Perhaps one of the most important developments of the war was PLUTO, a system that would allow petrol to be pumped directly from refineries in England directly to the beachhead in France, insuring both a secure and continuous source of fuel for the vehicles, and one that didn't require a continuous line of ships, which allowed the ships to be used for other purposes. It also allowed, in the post-war period off-shore refineries to be set up, a feat previously unachievable.