The Angry Video Game Nerd/Funny: Difference between revisions

I'd rather eat my dookie;<br />

It makes me wanna pee.<br />

Sucking some balls. (FUCK!!)<br />

Sucking some balls,<br />

{{quote| '''AVGN:''' ''[trying to catch sheep]'' Come on, you damn sheep. I'm not gonna hurt you. Sheepy, sheepy! ''[in higher-pitched tone]'' Sheepy, sheepy, sheepy! ''[in normal voice]'' Fuck this! I feel like a stupid asshole going after all these sheep for no reason.}}

*** And:

** Also, in ''Bible Buffet'':

{{quote| '''AVGN:''' It's so rare to hear such a clear voice in a Nintendo game. But, I also suppose it's rare for Nintendo to have a Bible game with no references to the Bible, resembling Atari that's all about [[Everything Trying to Kill You|food trying to kill you]]. Yet it's also a board game rip-off with quizzes that you can't answer. And, if it's a Bible game, why do you blow a snowman's head off? Whatever happened to "[[Thou Shalt Not Kill]]"? Please, somebody tell me. What the hell am I playing? I kinda like it, but I gotta turn it off before I go insane.}}

{{quote| "It's bad."}}

* His [[Atari 5200]] review is full of classic moments, including the [[Hilarity Ensues|humorous montages of him just trying to just hook up and play the console]]. But the highlight has to be the ending:

* [[Mundane Made Awesome|ROLLING ROCK ON THE ROLL & ROCKER]]!! That's in his NES Accessories review.

** To the tune of the ''[[Duck Hunt]]'' Level 1 opening, Boo the Cat is on top of the TV screen before the Nerd yells at him to jump down. As the cat does, he swats at the flying duck on the TV screen a few times, then the duck flies away as the tune ends with the Dog's laugh, before the Nerd repeatedly shoots at the laughing Dog in anger.

** "FUCK FIRE!"

** [[Back to The Future (Film)|"You gotta use your hands?]] [[Shout Out|That's like a baby's toy."]]

** "Oh sorry honey, I had quite a day, just '''THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!''" What makes him think that the Church is gonna be any better? Is the priest gonna throw candles at him? [[Crosses the Line Twice|Is Jesus gonna come off the fucking cross and start hitting him with it!?]].

* His now immortal rant at the end of ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]''

* "The game sucks, end of story, I wanna nail ''Roger Rabbit'' to the fucking cross"

* His opening rant about the [[Virtual Boy]] ending with "Come to think of it, you wouldn't want to play this thing in public anyway. You'd look like an asshole."

* "You get 4 different kinds of ''[[Pong]]'', like... what the hell is this, ''Reverse Pong''? Okay... Oh, ''now'' what's this? ''Asshole Pong''? That's not fair!"

** The Nerd's comment on using the video connector and the box for the Wonder Wizard:

* The Nerd's double review of the [[Colecovision]] and [[Intellivision]]. "BEEEEEEEEEEE SEVENTEEN BAAAAUUUUMERRRRR!!"

** "SHIT THE FUCK?!"

'''Ninja''': Before you look, you must think.<br />

'''Nerd''': *dies again and gets angry*<br />

'''Ninja''': Before you fuck, you must use proper protection. }}

** This is compared to the normal original episode, but different when the Ninja says, "Before you think, you must feel":

** When the Nerd actually catches the Q-tip ''first time''. Their reactions are priceless, especially Rolfe's look of amazement and hilarity.

{{quote| '''Ninja''': My work here is done.}}

** His [[Heroic BSOD|breakdown]] after viewing a screwed up cutscene from [[The Legend of Zelda CDi Games|Wand of Gamelon]]:

{{quote| '''Hectan''': "''You've killed me!''"<br />

'''Zelda''': "''[[Moral Dissonance|Good.]]''"<br />

** Also, his closing comments on the CD-i games:

{{quote| '''AVGN:''' "These games are as worthwhile as melting dog shit in a frying pan! ''[piles up all three Zelda CD-i games]'' Yeah, you put some buffalo puke and some cat piss all over it, and you have a shit sandwich that is Zelda CD-i! This game fuckin' sucks, ''[tosses one CD with a crash]'' it fuckin' sucks, ''[tosses another CD with a crash]'' it fuckin' sucks, ''[tosses a third CD with a crash]'' oh, yeah, and the [[Hotel Mario|Mario game]], that one sucks too! ''[tosses the CD with a fourth crash]'' CD-i SUCKS!"<br />

** His opinion on TV censorship.

{{quote| '''Nerd''': Whoever came up with this is an asshole!<br />

** His immediate reaction to [[Mind Screw|Time Warp Tickers]]. Conveying "what the fuck" as much as possible with nothing but an expression.

** For some reason, just his understated reaction to the lack of enemies in the games.

* His Batman review is simply put, awesome. Especially funny moments in the review includes his rant on ''[[Batman Forever]]'' and Mike Matei as the Joker.

** When he attempts to use the grappling hook in Batman Forever:

** And the rant he delivers at the end is pure gold:

{{quote| '''Nerd:''' THIS IS FUCKED BEYOND BELIEF!!! It's like, the controls in this game are like something you do for a cheat code, NOT A BASIC MOVE THAT YOU HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO PLAY THE GAME! Why'd they program it in such an asinine, ball-brained, cockamamie, ''ridiculous fashion''?! It's like, geez, there's four buttons right in the front of the controller! LIKE THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO WORK WITH?!? Instead they have to, like, program it like all into, like, weird kinda crazy button combinations and shit!? It's like, what were they thinking?! It's like, up is jump!? Select for the grappling hook!? Select shouldn't even be part of the game, select should be like for the menus or something, I mean, geez! Like, were they trying to just ruin this game - just, flat out just fuck it up?! Well they did! BATMAN FOREVER! IT SUCKED BACK THEN, AND IT SUCKS FOREVER!}}

** Him also wanting the M.C. Kids review to have a dance segment with the McDonald's mascots along with [[He Man and The Masters of The Universe|Skeletor]] and [[Dracula]] a la the CGI dance segment in the re-release of [[Return of the Jedi]]

** His mocking of the ''[[Star Wars]]'' special editions.

** His description of the [[Fake Difficulty|colors of the]] [[The Problem With Licensed Games|LJN]] [[They Just Didn't Care|Rainbow]]

{{quote| "{{color|purple|Purple}} for "Putrid Gameplay", {{color|blue|Blue}} for "Bad Musical Abominations", {{color|green|Green}} for "Graphical Farts and Garlic", {{color|yellow|Yellow}} for "Piss-Poor Lack of Loyalty to Source Material", {{color|orange|Orange}} for "Orange you a fucking idiot!", and {{color|red|Red}} for "High-stress Anger-Inducing Masochism"! Put that all together, and you've got all the colors of the shit rainbow. Hooray, LJN!"}}

** Also, his reaction to actually killing something with the cane. {{spoiler|Which turned out to be a bee.}}

* In his original ''[[Top Gun]]'' review, right near the end where he [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPYFb8Yn0Io&feature=related attempts to land the plane one last time]. The entire sequence is silent, save for the white noise of the video game sound effects. Then as the plane gets closer and closer to the carrier, it cuts back to his excited face, but right at the last second, it crashes into the water. Then...

** Granted, it wasn't the strongest swear, but it's still ''hilarious''.

*** Though he does scream "FUUUUUUUCK!" right after he says "ASS!"

** Deciding he's gone off all games and to watch TV instead. His TV turns out not to have an aerial connection and just produces static, causing him to remark "[[Take That|Modern TV sucks!]]"...[[Hypocritical Humor|before settling down to watch the static anyway]].

* In part one of his Terminator video game review, The Nerd's reaction to the maximum lives cap for the NES [[The Problem With Licensed Games|Terminator game.]]

* His [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvR_3OTxs8A&t=1m13s analogy] for the Genesis add-ons:

{{quote| "Did they really need all this bullshit [the 32X and the Sega CD] leeching on the Genesis? That poor Genesis is just thinking, 'Oh please, God, take this shit off me.' It’s like getting gang-raped: Both of its slots are gettin' fucked at the same time."}}

** Later, when Freddy cuts a Nerd clone to pieces, he is somehow able to flip him off with his severed hand.

* From the [[Die Hard (Film)|Die Hard]] review.

** It's particularly funny for the [[Actor Allusion]], since Reginald VelJohnson plays Al Powell in the Die Hard series and Carl Winslow in Family Matters, explaining the subsequent Urkel pop-up.

** "There's guys coming out of every corner, there's guys coming out of the elevator, there's guys coming out of your ass..." which is immediately followed by an enemy sprite coming out of McClane's ass.

* The Nerd's face as he {{spoiler|flies into battle with R.O.B.}} Also doubles as a [[Moment of Awesome (Sugar Wiki)|Moment of Awesome]] when he [[Curb Stomp Battle|curbstomps]] the robot.

* When he went ballistic at the end of the Moonwalker review. Though, not as funny as...

* I'm surprised there are no mentions of his review of the Wizard Of Oz SNES game. Mike's as the Cowardly Lion was just comic gold.

** I'm surprised James was able to finish the video considering how much he laughs during the outtakes. I would've died.

** The part where he swears ''in [[Gratuitous German|German]]''.

* The ''[[Halloween (Film)|Halloween]]'' review. Early on, the Nerd runs into two trick-or-treaters, takes their bag, and defecates into it.

** Later, the Nerd goes to babysit at their house:

{{quote| '''Kids''': IT'S THE POOPIE MAN!}}

* His Spielberg games review is a good one, but the highlight was his completely dumbfounded reaction to the Nedry character from the 3D0 [[Jurassic Park]] game [[Makes Just As Much Sense in Context|wearing a tutu and angel wings with overalls in one icon.]]

* While taking time off from the regular videos to film his movie, James created a series of videos in which he answered fan messages from his Youtube page. Probably the most hilarious of all of them was one particular message from [http://www.screwattack.com/shows/partners/cinemassacre-mailbag/cinemassacre-mailbag-episode-3 this video] from a blogger who runs the "Fight Hard Blog." Incredibly funny all the way through, but the best part was the last sentence, which read, "Live like a windrammer as you fuck." James laughed himself silly at this one.

{{quote| You're dead. Your friends are dead. Your family's dead. Your fucking pets are being skinned alive. [[Your Mom]]'s a fucking whore. You suck at life. The whole world hates you. You're going to hell. Deal with it. [[Game Over]].}}

** In an underrated moment, when the Nerd is trying to open the door, we see him undo the lock on the doorknob, then the lock above it. He then starts to open it...when it turns out there's still a latch on the door.