The Apartment/Awesome

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Love the moment Baxter finally decides to be a mensch.

Baxter: Sorry, Mr. Sheldrake.
Mr. Sheldrake: What do you mean, sorry?
Baxter: You're not going to bring anybody to my apartment.
Mr. Sheldrake: I'm not just bringing anybody; I'm bringing Miss Kubelik.
Baxter: Especially not Miss Kubelik.
Mr. Sheldrake: How's that again?
Baxter: (give Sheldrake a death glare) No key.
Mr. Sheldrake: Baxter, I picked you for my team because I thought you were a very bright young man. Do you realize what you're doing? Not to me, but to yourself? Normally, it takes years to work your way up to the twenty-seventh floor. But it only takes thirty seconds to be out on the street again. You dig?
Baxter: I dig.
Mr. Sheldrake: So what's it going to be? (Baxter slowly reaches into his pocket for a key and drops it on Sheldrake's desk)
Mr. Sheldrake: Now you're being bright.
Baxter: Thank you, sir. (Baxter goes back into his office, looks around, then reaches into his closet for his coat and hat. Sheldrake comes in moments later)
Mr. Sheldrake: Say, Baxter, you gave me the wrong key.
Baxter: No, I didn't.
Mr. Sheldrake: But this is the key to the executive washroom.
Baxter: That's right, Mr. Sheldrake. I won't be needing it because I'm all washed up around here.
Mr. Sheldrake: What's gotten into you, Baxter?
Baxter: Just following doctor's orders. I've decided to become a "mensch". You know what that means? A human being.
Mr. Sheldrake: Now, hold on, Baxter...
Baxter: Save it. The old payola won't work anymore. Goodbye, Mr. Sheldrake.