The Maiden Name Debate: Difference between revisions

 

Not a completely [[Universal Trope]], as many cultures do not expect a woman to change her name (Korea, Vietnam, China, Quebec, Muslim countries, the majority of Latin America), and some do not use surnames at all (Iceland, Indonesia). In the former Soviet Union, the choice to change one's name is part of the (civil and very bureaucratic) ceremony, and the man changing his name is not unheard-of (though less common than the woman changing her name or there being no name change at all). In Japan, if a woman's name is from a family that is extremely high on the social ladder, then it is possible for the husband to take her last name. This is not common.

 

Almost always, if an [[Only One Name]] person marries a Two-Named person, regardless of gender, he or she will take the Two-Named person's last name.

See also [[Meaningful Rename]].

 

* Gendo Rokubungi from ''[[Neon Genesis Evangelion]]'' became Gendo Ikari when he took his wife's last name, though the reasons why aren't explicitly clear. If the ambiguously canon information that Yui is the daughter of a SEELE member is to be believed, it may have been to gain a foothold in the organization. Within the show itself, though, it seems Gendo did it because [[Pet the Dog|he really did love Yui]], and wanted to prove that he was utterly devoted to her. Note that even Fuyutsuki found his name change odd.

** There's some implication that Gendo had a dark past he wanted to get away from as well. Getting a new name would be a symbolic way of starting over.

* Itoshiki Rin from ''[[Sayonara, Zetsubou-sensei]]'' looks forward to the day she can get married and change her [[Unfortunate Name]]. Sadly, the Itoshiki family is very high-ranking, so she has trouble finding an acceptably prominent suitor. In fact, her brother's friend who is in love with all things old tries to marry her in order to acquire an old name.

* When Kaoru and Aoi finally get together in ''[[Ai Yori Aoshi]]'', Aoi takes Kaoru's family name, but his mother's maiden name "Honjo" instead of "Hanabishi," as Kaoru has left the Hanabishi family (due to the abuse from his grandfather) and has taken to using that name.

 

== Comic Books ==

* In ''[[Superman]]'' comics, Lois Lane changed it to Lois Lane-Kent and kept her maiden name as a pen name. Occasionally Planet staff sarcastically call Clark "''Mr.'' Lane."

* Supporting ''[[X-Men]]'' character Moira MacTaggart (formerly Moira Kinross) kept her late husband's name. Strange, considering the fact that he was horribly abusive and that Moira's son Proteus was implied to be the result of marital rape. Partially justified seeing as her husband refused to divorce her, leading to her running away and pretending she was widowed... but when he actually died, there was no reason to keep using the name.

* Spoofed in one ''[[The Avengers (Comic Book)|New Avengers]]'' issue where Luke Cage (aka "Power Man") tried to convince his wife to go by "Power Woman."

 

{{quote|'''Fate:''' If I took both your names, would that make me Fate Testarossa Harlaown Scrya Takamachi? Or perhaps Fate Testarossa Harlaown Takamachi Scrya? Fate Scrya Takamachi? Fate Takamachi Scrya? Hmm, I need to think about this...}}

 

== Film ==

* ''[[It's a Wonderful Life]]'' shows George getting a phone call (on his wedding day) from "Mrs. Bailey." "I don't want to talk to Mrs. Bailey! I want to talk to my wife!". Apparently it takes him some time to get used to the idea, too.

* In ''Woman of the Year'', career woman Tess Harding ruins her marriage to Sam Craig by neglecting her personal life in favor of her public life and then fails when she tries to make up for it by playing the traditional domestic wife. In the end, Sam suggests she doesn't have to pick one role or the other: she can be Tess Harding Craig.

* In ''[[The Wedding Singer]]'', Julia Sullivan bursts into tears when she realizes that after she marries Glenn she'll be "Mrs. Julia Guglia".

* Inverted in the film ''Whipped''. The main character, a [[Henpecked Husband|hen-pecked boyfriend]], briefly considers changing his last name to his fiance's. {{spoiler|They split up before the marriage.}}

 

== Literature ==

* ''A Love for All Time'' by Bertrice Small begins in Elizabethan England. Queen Elizabeth commands one of her courtiers, Conn O'Malley, who is a troublesome Irishman, to marry Aidan St. Michael, who is a titled Englishwoman, and to take her name along with the title that went with it. He agreed, mainly because of the title. One of the queen's advisors pointed out that this would effectively make Conn an Englishman.

* The [[Bruce Coville]] book ''Monster of the Year'' has Michael McGraw, whose mother (Elsa Adams) changed her name to her husband's when she got married, changed back after they divorced, and said she'd stay with her maiden name for the rest of her life. Michael, on the other hand, had his name changed to match his stepfather's. As he puts it, "This confuses outsiders, since they can't figure out who I really belong to, but it suits the three of us just fine."

 

== Live Action TV ==

* Turk and Carla in ''[[Scrubs]]'' faced this problem. Turk's classic response to Carla wanting to keep her name: "Okay baby, I guess we'll be one of those New Age couples that don't love each other!" They eventually compromise: Carla keeps her name, and [[Just the Way You Are|Turk keeps]] [[It Makes Sense in Context|his mole]].

** She does use it for "official" things. Including letting him call her "Mrs. Turk" in the bedroom.

* On ''[[How I Met Your Mother]]'', Lily keeps her last name after marrying Marshall, though they do consider both adopting a brand new last name (with candidates [[Awesome McCoolname|"Skywalker," "Hasselhoff," and "Awesome"]]).

{{quote|"Have you met the Awesomes, Marshall and Lily, their son Totally, and their daughter Frickin'?"}}

{{quote|'''George:''' Arnie says you can have my name now. [[Literal-Minded|How'd you like to be "George"?]]}}

* A variant from ''[[My Family]]'', with the parents going into a therapy session:

'''Susan:''' ''Maiden'' name? (To shrink) Harper is my husband's name, Riggs was my father's name, but Ryman was my grandmother's name. She chose it herself, no men involved.

'''Ben:''' She was [[Raised by Wolves|reared by wolves]]. }}

{{quote|'''Pam:''' That's as close as I ever want to get to being Pamela Anderson.}}

** On the flipside, she's more than excited to change it when marrying Jim. [[Squee|Squeeing Ensues]] when Kevin hands her a check made out to "Mrs. Pam Halpert."

{{spoiler|'''Rory:''' Melody Williams...}}

{{spoiler|'''Amy:''' ...is a geography teacher. Melody Pond is a superhero!}} }}

** Although not seen on screen, when Martha and Mickey tie the knot, the former becomes Martha Smith-Jones. And when Donna gets engaged to Shaun Temple, the Doctor gets worried because Donna Noble-Temple would sound stupid. Wilfred assures him she's going for 'Temple-Noble' instead.

* Gwen Cooper kept her name when marrying Rhys Williams in ''[[Torchwood]]'', at the request of Gwen's actress Eve Myles.

 

== Newspaper Comics ==

* In ''[[Peanuts]],'' Sally decides to write to [[Mrs. Claus]] instead of Santa. At one point Charlie Brown mentions that he had heard she was called "[[Punny Name|Mary Christmas]]," and Sally congratulates her on deciding to keep her own name.

 

== Video Games ==

* In ''[[The Sims]] 2'', the couple takes the name of whomever initiates the marriage action. A lot of player challenges place restrictions on this (legacy heirs must keep the legacy family name and such) and there are mods to choose the name or to enforce a "traditional" marriage. So, quite a few male Sims end up taking their wives' last names.

* In ''[[Escape from Monkey Island]]'', Elaine is far better known than her new husband Guybrush so everyone keeps calling him "Mr. Marley". Officially they're both "Threepwood" now. Guybrush occasionally introduces himself as Marley-Threepwood.

 

* When [[Kevin and Kell|Kevin married Kell]], he changed his (and his adopted daughter's) last name to his wife's, mainly because he had been disowned by his family. Considering he's a rabbit and Kell's a wolf, the name change was the ''least'' of people's concerns.

** [[All There in the Manual|According to the FAQ]], Kell convinced Rudy to change his surname from Foxglove (his father's last name) to Dewclaw after his father's death.

* Amy Chilton from ''[[Scary Go Round]]'' is Amy Beckwith-Chilton in the [[Spin-Off]] webcomic ''[[Bad Machinery]]'', due to her marriage to Ryan Beckwith. (She is quite successful with her antiques shop she has set up back in ''[[Scary Go Round|SGR]]'', so this may probably be for the bussiness-stratetical reason of name recognition.)

 

== Western Animation ==

* Marge Simpson's sister, Selma Bouvier-Terwilliger-Hutz-McClure-Stu from ''[[The Simpsons]]'' probably should have considered this debate a bit more.<ref>Sequential addition of names, not simultaneous</ref>

** She eventually used this as a reason not to marry Apu, saying adding "Nahasapeemapetilon" to it would just be too much.

** Referenced in "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy", during the production of the Lisa Lionheart doll.

{{quote|'''Lisa:''' ''(recording her voice for the doll)'' "When I get married, I'm keeping my own name." Oh, no, that should probably be "If I choose to get married."}}

* On ''[[Total Drama World Tour]],'' the contestants fake getting married for a challenge, with [[Villain Sue|Alejandro]] and [[Alpha Bitch|Heather]] [[Belligerent Sexual Tension|paired up]]. After he refers to her as "Mr. Alejandro," she sarcastically calls him "Mr. Heather."

** Later, when [[Stalker with a Crush|Sierra]] thinks that she's really trapped [[Butt Monkey|Cody]] in an [[Accidental Marriage]], she tells [[Big Bad|Chris]] that her name is now "Sierra-Cody. It's hyphenated." Apparently none of these kids know how last names are supposed to work.

 

== Real Life ==

* Real life inversions are discussed in [http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name this blog post].

* Cheryl Cole of pop group [[Girls Aloud]] and judge on ''[[The X Factor]]'' was originally Cheryl Tweedy. She changed her surname, including for professional use, when she married Ashley Cole in 2006. She kept the name after their divorce in 2009 as she was already more famous as Cole than Tweedy.

** It is still a tradition in certain parts of the [[Deep South]] to not assign middle names to girls, with the ''expectation'' that she will keep her maiden name as a middle name after she marries. Therefore, it wasn't even seen as a compromise in the eyes of many voters, just, well, [[Department of Redundancy Department|expected]] (note that Hillary Rodham, being from [[The Windy City|Chicago]], ''was'' given a middle name: Diane).

* Annie Mae "Tina" Turner kept her married name after divorcing Ike, enduring the bad memories attached to it, for business purposes. It worked, however, as she brought far more good to that name than Ike ever did.

* In some jurisdictions, while there is no particular administrative fee for changing one's name when being ''married'' (the name change being incorporated into the whole marriage bit), there ''is'' a separate fee to change one's name when one ''divorces.'' Further (in some jurisdictions), for the woman to change her last name and middle name when getting married is trivial, but if she also wants to change her ''first'' name, you suddenly need to get a judge's approval, etc. Like that's ''more'' likely to have a nefarious plot behind it.

* There was (and still is, in many places) a significant [[Double Standard]] about this. For women to change their names after marriage was a simple procedure, while for the man to take his wife's name required moving hell and earth. The most famous person to do this is probably the NFL's London Fletcher-Baker, who adopted the Baker to honor his father-in-law.

* Similarly, [[Agatha Christie]] was Agatha Mallowan from 1930, but she kept Christie as her pen name.

* An interesting case with [[The Daily Show|Jon Stewart]]. His birth name was Leibowitz, and he chose Stewart as his [[Stage Names|professional name]]. About a year after he married Tracy McShane, they ''both'' changed their legal last names to Stewart.

* During the 1984 U.S. presidential campaign, Senator Barry Goldwater insisted on referring to vice presidential candidate Geraldine Ferraro as "Mrs. Zacarro."

* This is also an issue for same-sex couples since obviously there either isn't a wife or there isn't a husband in the picture. Therefore, there's no tradition to go by. Some take just one of their names. Some hyphenate. Some even pick out an entirely new name for themselves. Lately, there's also been a discussion brewing about how male couples who change one or both of their names are supposed to refer to their old name(s) since "maiden name" obviously doesn't work.

** Of course, "maiden name" also makes less sense for women these days, given that they're no longer assumed to be "maidens" before they're married.

** Dan Savage wrote an interesting piece about trying to figure out what last name to give their son when he and his husband (then boyfriend) adopted him. They compromised by giving him his birthmother's last name, which seemed like a sweet gesture at the time, but wound up leading to a lot of trouble later on - it was hard enough to convince workers at airports and national borders that they weren't two strangers kidnapping a baby even *without* having to explain why the baby didn't share either of their last names.

* A contestant on ''[[Win Ben Stein's Money]]'' told the story of his marriage to a woman surnamed "Wolfe". His own surname was "Dark", so they decided to both change to the hyphenate "[[Awesome McCoolname|Dark-Wolfe]]."

* It was and is fairly common for British aristocratic families to adopt a hyphenated 'double-barreled' surname when two of their scions marry. More oddly, the mother's maiden name is sometimes used as the first name of a child from such a union.

* Pulitzer Prize-winner Connie Schultz wrote a [http://www.cleveland.com/schultz/index.ssf/2011/06/beware_marital_identity_theft.html column] about a reader who consistently criticizes her for not taking her husband's surname and insists on using it in lieu of her chosen maiden name.

* For some reason, the current [[The Chancellors of Germany|Chancellor of Germany]], Angela Merkel still uses the name of her first husband, even though they divorced back in 1982, and she's currently married to Joachim Sauer.

 

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[[Category:Wedding and Engagement Tropes]]