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* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/mom-and-dad-im-gay-and-also-stronger-than-both-of,21017/ Mom And Dad, I'm Gay And Also Stronger Than Both Of You, So Don't Try Any Shit.]
* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/alien-world-to-help-out-syria-since-this-one-refus,27620/ Alien World To Help Out Syria Since This One Refuses To.]
{{quote|''At press time, with the U.N. continuing to urge Syria to allow the delivery of humanitarian aid, the sound of artillery had paused as [[Oh Crap|100,000 spacecraft filled the sky.]]''}}
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