The Rundown/Funny

"Santa Claus doesn't give any breeeeeaks!"
"Who gives a shit?!"
Pretty much all of the dialogue between Beck and Travis.
If it's possible to have a single line count as a Non Sequitur Scene, it would be this one: "...That's a lotta cows."
"Not this boy's pintu. Uh-uh!" (hastily pulls his pants back up)
The entire "I have to pee" sequence, but this bit of dialogue sent this troper into hysterics:

Travis: If you want to get out of here, you're gonna have to carry me and I guarantee I'm gonna pee on your head.
Beck: You threatenin' me? You're threatening me with pee?

Mariana flipping off Hatcher and his brilliant response of, "If I was ten minutes younger..." which is incredibly justified considering it's Rosario Dawson.
The Tooth Fairy speech.
Hatcher's Famous Last Words: "Ow."