View source for The Shawshank Redemption/Funny

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* [[Sarcasm Mode|Poor]] [[Butt Monkey|Heywood.]]
** Red suggests getting Andy a gift, and his friends agree. Remembering that Andy had been planning to make his own chess set, he says, "[[Badass Bookworm|Guy likes to play chess.]] [[It Makes Sense in Context|Let's get him some rocks.]]" Heywood nods agreeingly...but then the phrase sinks in and he looks puzzled, turning to Red like a lost puppy.
** While working in the field, the inmates try to find rocks for Andy's project to make chess pieces, and Heywood thinks he's found a good one until:
{{quote|'''Floyd''': Heywood, that isn't soapstone. It ain't alabaster either.
'''Heywood''': What are you, a fuckin' geologist?
'''Snooze''': He's right, it ain't.
'''Heywood''': Well what the hell is it, then?
'''Red''': A horse apple.
'''Heywood''': ...Bullshit.
'''Red''': No, ''horse''shit. Petrified.
''Heywood pulls the "rock" apart, revealing that's exactly what it is.''
'''Heywood''' ''(disgusted)'': Oh, Jesus Chr--
''The other inmates crack up.'' }}
** The prisoners are helping Andy to set up the prison library, coming across :
{{quote|'''[[Butt Monkey|Heywood]]''': "''[[Treasure Island]]''. Robert Louis—"
'''Andy''': "Stevenson. 'Fiction' > 'Adventure'. What's next?"
'''Red''': "I got here... ''Auto Repair'' and... ''Soap Carving''."
'''Andy''': "'Trade Skills and Hobbies'. Goes under 'Educational'. Stacked behind you."
'''Heywood''': "''[[The Count of Monte Cristo (novel)|Count of Monte Crisco]]''."
'''Floyd''': "That's 'Cristo', you dumb ''shit''."
Red grins with laughter.
'''Heywood''': "By Alexandre... Dumbass... ''Dumbass.''"
Red finally bursts out laughing.
'''Andy''': "...dumbass?"
''*Heywood shows the book as "proof"*''
'''Andy''': "''[[Alexandre Dumas|Dumas]]''. You know what it's about? You'll like it. It's about [[Shout-Out|a prison break]].
'''Red''': "Well we ought to file that under 'Educational' too, oughtn't we?" }}
* The day the prison receives a shipment of books, they come with a letter for Andy, who's been sending letters to libraries asking for funding. It closes with, "We now consider the matter closed; please stop sending us letters!" [[Determinator|He doesn't listen.]]
* "On the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. [[Had to Come to Prison to Be a Crook|I had to come to prison to be a crook.]]" Red's reaction is great.
* Tommy's story about one of his previous crimes.
{{quote|So I'm backin' out the door, right? Had the TV like this... ''[Mimes his grip]'' Big ol' thing. Couldn't see shit. Suddenly, there's this voice: "Freeze, kid! Hands in the air!" Well, I just stand there holdin' on to that TV, so the voice says, "You hear what I said, boy?" And I say, [[Morton's Fork|"Yes, sir; I sure did; but if I drop this fuckin' thing, you got me on 'Destruction of Property,' too!"]]}}
* That poor new inmate slaughtered by Hadley in the beginning? In the credits, he's credited as "Fat Ass".
** Um.... [[Harsher in Hindsight|ouch.]]

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[[Category:Film/Funny]]