The Sports Guy: Difference between revisions

[[File:Bill-Simmons_6247.jpg|frame]]

 

Simmons is a native of Boston, and as such is a massive fan of Boston's sports teams (especially the Red Sox and Celtics), but moved to Los Angeles in 2002; he has since started rooting for the [[Butt Monkey|Clippers]] in basketball and (during the 2011 lockout) the [[Butt Monkey|Kings]] in hockey.

 

* [[The Tyson Zone]]

* [[Catch Phrase]]: "Yup, these are my readers." at the end of his mailbag columns, always in response to a series of letters that reveals how obsessive or bizzare his fans are.

** "I will now light myself on fire" when having to admit an unpleasant truth he doesn't like (e.g., admitting Kobe Bryant, star player for the Los Angeles Lakers and someone Simmons actively dislikes, was the [http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060414&campaign=rss&source=ESPNHeadlines 2006 NBA MVP]). Exchange "light myself on fire" for any number of physically painful actions.

** "(Nodding)", which he uses mostly in mailbags when he agrees with an e-mail but has nothing to add to it.

* [[Despair Event Horizon]]: His "[http://proxy.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020528 Levels of Losing]" column, in which he broke down how bad a loss feels to the team's fans afterwards.

* [[Fan Boy]]: Simmons doesn't hide his biases. The misconception that he's a journalist (he's not - he's a columnist whose job is to express his opinion, not report the news) leads many readers to be annoyed by this.

* [[Fanon Discontinuity]]: [[In-Universe|Bill thinks this]] of ''[[The Next Karate Kid]]'' and ''[[Rocky V]]''.

* [[Footnote Fever]]: There are 50 to 100 footnotes in ''each chapter'' of ''The Book of Basketball''.

** And with the launch of Grantland, even his ''internet columns'' have footnotes.

** [http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6855994/revenge Lampshade] [[Lampshade Hanging|hung]]

* [[Game of Nerds]]: Kind of. He wrote about being introduced to new statistical analysis methods in baseball and basketball, but he doesn't fully accept the new concepts that challenge conventional wisdom. For example, he still thinks stats like RBI's and pitcher W-L record are meaningful.

** And back when she wrote her opinion, his wife the Sports Gal would call his husband and his buddies' fantasy league The League of Dorks for this and other reasons.

* [[I Need a Freaking Drink]]: Or rather, "[http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7033950/a-running-diary-game-162 Daddy needs another drink]" (scroll down to 8:45 PM), in reaction to the final game of the 2011 Red Sox collapse.

* [[Never Live It Down]]: Apparently, he hasn't totally recovered from The Catch by David Tyree or Tom Brady's crippling knee injury in the NFL 2008 season and reminds himself of these events by ocassion either by a footnote or with a passing mention.

** He was caught in the background of a picture on rival site CNNSI.com checking his Blackberry while Blake Griffin lay down a thunderous dunk. He even had some [[And Then John Was a Zombie]] stress about potentially becoming the distracted [[Los Angeles]] fan he always hated in Boston.

* [[Old Shame]]: The Sports Guy cartoon that ran on ESPN.com during 2004-05 is generally treated like this by Simmons in his columns and podcasts

* [[Promoted Fanboy]]: He was formerly a bartender before ascending to ESPN's premier comedy writer.

* [[Running Gag]]: Every week during the NFL season, he and Jimmy Kimmel Live writer "Cousin Sal" Sal Iacono guess the initial gambling lines for the upcoming games that week. Early in the 2010 season, Simmons began to laud praise on Tampa Bay Buccaneers starting quarterback Josh Freeman, claiming that he was a quarterback you could build a franchise around. Ever since Week 6 of that season, Sal has taken time during the recording of these podcasts to 'play a voicemail' left by Simmons on Sal's phone praising Josh Freeman, which is in fact Sal doing an over-the-top imitation of Simmons's voice and writing style. In 2011, these segments became more intricate, often including sound effects and involving other subjects. The Week 10 2011 edition of this 'voicemail' was so over-the-top it was even edited out of the released podcast, revealed days later on twitter to have involved 'Simmons' being raped in the YMCA sauna by Jerry Sandusky before hanging up.

** Freeman's sophomore slump in 2011 led to his eventually being replaced as the subject of the phone calls by Tim Tebow.

** Ocasionally, he also makes references to ''[[Seinfeld]]'', another one of this favorite shows; he also has a liking to ''[[Curb Your Enthusiasm]]'' and has even likened the best seasons with pantheon episodes of the show with particularly dominant seasons by pitchers who won the MVP Award in Major League Baseball.

* [[Southies]]: His old Boston buddies come across like this sometimes.

* [[The Trope Without a Title]]: The Oklahoma City Thunder, aka "The Team That Shall Not Be Named", as a service to the people of Seattle, who are still bitter about the Seattle Sonics being sold and moved out from under them.

* [[Twitter]]: He attempted to use Twitter to organize up-to-the-minute taunting chants at Celtics games.

** [http://twitter.com/#!/CelticsChants/status/13870364675 Which] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJl-0TML4i4 worked.]

 

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