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Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: Difference between revisions
Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do At Hogwarts (view source)
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== The List ==
* I will not call Lucius Malfoy [[Labyrinth|"Jareth"]].
* Calling Lucius Malfoy "[[Sluggy Freelance|Luscious]] Mouthful" is just plain gross.
* Adding the name [[Ferris Bueller's Day Off|"Bueller"]] to Professor Binns' roster is not funny.
* I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Lord Voldemort.
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* "Potter 6, Voldemort 0", is not a valid T-shirt slogan.
* I will not address the Professor with a loud "Heil Umbridge!" and accompanying salute.
* Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not [[Sluggy Freelance|use guns against the Death Eaters]].
* Telling Luna Lovegood that ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' is a documentary is an unkind thing to do.
* If Professor Lupin requests something of me, it is considered very rude to refuse by replying, [[The Three Little Pigs|"Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!"]]
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* First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
* I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
* I will stop asking when we will learn to make [[The Clovers|"Love Potion Number Nine"]].
* I will not cast the occasional Obliviate spell on Dumbledore, even if it would be amusing.
* I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
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* I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
* I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.
* I will not offer to prepare [[Sluggy Freelance|tandoori owl]].
* [[The Producers|''Springtime for Voldemort'']] is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
* When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout [[Highlander|"There can be only ONE!"]]
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* I am not allowed to introduce myself to the first years as [[Monty Python and the Holy Grail|"Tim the Enchanter"]].
* I am not allowed to [[Locked in a Room|lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet]] to see if [[Ho Yay|hot gay sex will occur]].
* I am not allowed to make [[Star Wars|lightsaber]] sound with my wand.
* I am not allowed to [[Avatar (film)|paint the house-elves blue]].
* I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor.
* I am not allowed to set up a first year on a blind date with Moaning Mrytle.
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* And lastly, I will not use a time turner to go into the past and seduce my father, thereby ceasing to exist, which means I could not have gone into the past and seduced my father, which means I do exist, which means I can go back and . . . oh, nevermind.
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[[Category:Just for Fun]]
[[Category:Literature]]
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