Troll/Quotes

"Someone has to stir shit up, or things get boring. I get bored when there's not conflict of some kind going on."

—A troll... let's just leave it at that.

"Folks on this website are having too much fun, perhaps my negative post will see that undone."

—Bug, For The Haters

You see the happy people's biggest problem is

They're never fearing the worst

While the rest of us will never sleep until

Your happy bubbles are burst.
—Barenaked Ladies, "Angry People"

I don't know you but I think I hate you

You're the reason for my misery

Strange that you've become my biggest enemy

And I've never even seen your face

Well maybe it's just jealousy

Mix it up with a violent mind

A circumstance that doesn't make much sense

Or maybe, I'm just dumb
—Green Day, "Chump"

If trawling for assholes you'll net a fine catch

with skulls full of saw dust (well I've got the match!)

—Skyclad, "On With Their Heads!"

[[color:purple:TT: Maybe you should get some trolling tips from us humans.

TT: Our sparing intellects are probably better suited to it.]]

—Rose, Homestuck

"Trolls like you belong under a bridge."

—YouTube video author responding to homophobic comment.

"I like the idea of a 'professional troll' though, it gives the impression of a hideous creature living under a bridge and handing out business cards."

—Yahtzee

"I don't care what you think As long as it's about me The best of us can find happiness in misery."

—Fall Out Boy, "I Don't Care"

(Terumi Hazama sneaks up from out of nowhere and writes over the sign so that it says "No VIbES" and "No bEVIS" repeatedly on it and silently moonwalks away. Daisy NP gets annoyed by Terumi and snaps her fingers again to fix it)

Daisy NP: Stop it!

(Hazama appears from behind the counter grinning like a snake, snaps his fingers, and the sign's changed again to have a picture of a huge bitch over where the rule should be.)

(Daisy smacks Terumi over the head with her staff very hard, and snaps her fingers to fix it again, then snaps it once more, plaquing it in a sense)

Daisy: Get out of my hotel. Now.

(Hazama has not lost his smile whatsoever despite being hit over the head.)

Hazama: Man, you need to chillax, dude... lady... person.

(Hazama simply walks off whistling.)

—We Are Our Avatars

Problem?

—Trollface

Trolls are the janitors of DA. You don't want to associate with them, but without us, this place would be covered in shit.

—A member of I-Call-Bull... which, admittedly, only "trolls" people who deserve it.

You've been trolled

You've been trolled

You have probably been told

"Don't reply

To this guy,

He is just getting a rise

Out of you," Yes, it's true

You respond and that's his cue

To start trouble

On the double

While he strokes his manly stubble,

You've been trolled

You've been trolled

You should probably just fold

When the only winning move is not to play!

And yet you keep on trying,

Mindlessly replying,

You've been trolled, you've been trolled, have a nice day!

—Successful Troll Song (sung to the tune of "Be Our Guest")

"And now, Real Men of Genius (Real Men of Genius) Today we salute you Mr. Asshat Forum Troll. (Mr. Asshat Forum Troll!) You barge into any thread, spewing your brain diarrhea like it was relief water for Ethiopians. (Brain Diarrhea!) There aren't enough smilies available to illustrate everyone's disdain for you. Rolleyes, red mad face, puking green guy, and the finger dude just aren't enough. (Exclamation mark, eleventy one!) No one is LOLing when you enter the thread. You single-handedly lower the IQ of the Internet with every post you make. (STFU, r'tard!) It takes guts to do what you do, presenting your contrary opinion in the cold harsh light of incontrovertible facts. Here's to you Mr. Asshat Forum Troll. (Mr. Asshat Forum Troll!)"

—"Real Men of Genius: Mr. Asshat Forum Troll" Budweiser ad parody.

Toki: There he is!

Skwisgaar: Yep, that's definitely a troll.

—forum weapon, from the episode "Dethtroll", [1] Metalocalypse

Stone is heavy and sand a burden, but provocation by a fool is heavier than both.

—The Bible (New International Version), Proverbs 27:3

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I am an asshole, I am an asshole, I am SUCH an asshole! Look at me~

—Proton Jon

I was waiting for you to make a punchline.

—Mai, Nichijou

So, on a scale from one to mad... How mad?

—A Team Fortress 2 player in this video of a child throwing a tantrum