Wall Banger/Comic Books: Difference between revisions

** A whole slew of She-Hulk wallbangers from the pen of [[Peter David]] (who should know better): After She-Hulk was fired from her law firm and disbarred <ref>a different comic series revealed that she disclosed privileged information about a client in a fit of rage, which was a wallbanger in itself</ref> she became a bounty hunter. While on the road she was present at an incident where an alien terrorist murdered a woman who was out camping with her husband. Long story short, She-Hulk resolved the situation with the help of an alien bounty hunter and continued on her way. Later she found out the husband to the murdered woman was arrested. The police didn't believe his story that "space aliens did it" (probably not his exact words) and assumed he killed her himself. Now, you would think the obvious solution to this problem would be for She-Hulk to walk up to the front desk of the police station and say "That man is innocent, he's telling the truth, I was there." Especially since the husband ''specifically named her'' as a corroborating witness. But does she do that? '''NO!''' She instead decides to merely ''visit him in his cell'' <ref>Incidentally, this is a wallbanger within a wallbanger. In order to see the husband while he was in a jail cell She-Hulk would have had to ask permission at the front desk of the police station. If she had, the cops would have naturally asked her why she wanted to see him in the first place. Which would have forced her to reveal that, yes, she was in fact present for the entire incident, just as the husband said she was, and she could corroborate his entire story. At the very least the police would have required her to make an official statement and would probably have released the husband altogether. In other words, She-Hulk somehow managed to visit a murder suspect in jail ''without telling the police why she was there''. The pain you are feeling in your forehead right now is from the impact of your head against the nearest desk and/or wall.</ref> and ends up spending a night in jail herself after she accidentally rips the door off the husband's cell. Oh, but wait, it's not over yet. After spending a night in jail because of her own inexplicable stupidity, she shows up in court the next day and attempts to testify on the husband's behalf. At his arraignment hearing. A hearing where, by definition, ''no witness testimony is heard''. The judge himself chastises her for not knowing this. Apparently [[Peter David]] expects us to believe that in the short time since being disbarred She-Hulk has somehow A) forgotten 3 years of law school and who knows how many years of personal experience as one of the most successful attorneys in New York City, and B) taken up [[Idiot Ball|juggling Idiot Balls]]. In the end She-Hulk had to resolve the situation by metaphorically crawling back on her hands and knees to her old law firm (which she was on very bad terms with at the time) and begging her old rival Mallory Book to come to her rescue and get the charges dropped. Which, incidentally, she accomplishes by slapping together a phony-baloney "national security" defense that renders the defendant's testimony classified information <ref>a defense which would have been ''illegal for her to make'' since she had to know it was false</ref> and dragging [[Iron Man|Tony Stark]] along with her (in full costume no less) to back it up. There was, quite literally, ''no good reason'' for any of the above to have occurred. The only purpose of the story was to humiliate She-Hulk, give Tony Stark a [[Pet the Dog]] moment, and squeeze in another idiotic "superheroes are evil" rant in the wake of [[Civil War]] and [[World War Hulk]].

*** Oh, hey, here's another wallbanger related to that story. As a bounty hunter She-Hulk works for a bail bond company known as Freeman Bonding Inc. which she abbreviates to "FBI" when she's working. She does this because, no joke, people "don't know to ask" what the acronym stands for and assume she means the Federal Bureau of Investigation. In other words, She-Hulk is ''impersonating a law enforcement officer''.

* X-Men Angel and Husk hooking up, [[Mile-High Club|flying up in the sky, and having sex]] '''[[Squick|right in front of everyone, including Husk's mother]].'''

** [[American Pie|"Angel, son, I just want you to know that what you are doing is normal. Perfectly normal and natural."]]