What a Piece of Junk!: Difference between revisions

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{{quote|"''She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid.''"|'''Han Solo''', ''[[Star Wars]]'', on the ''Millennium Falcon''.}}
{{quote|"''She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid.''"|'''Han Solo''', ''[[Star Wars]]'', on the ''Millennium Falcon''.}}


This is your car? [[The Alleged Car|This is a pathetic rusted-out bucket of bolts]]! I'm sorry, what exactly makes you think this thing will get us three blocks before collapsing in a big puff of blue smoke? I've seen cars crushed into cubes that were still more impressive-looking than yours... did we just pass a Lamborghini?
This is your car? [[The Alleged Car|This is a pathetic rusted-out bucket of bolts]]! I'm sorry, what exactly makes you think this thing will get us three blocks before collapsing in a big puff of blue smoke? I've seen cars crushed into cubes that were still more impressive-looking than yours... did we just pass a Lamborghini?


What A Piece Of Junk is what happens when the alleged [[The Alleged Car|Alleged Car]] performs like a [[Cool Car]]. This is a vehicle that looks like it will fall apart if you go faster than twenty miles an hour. Your friends won't ride in it for fear of it spontaneously combusting. Well, your eyes are deceiving you: get into it and watch it blast past the competition. It is much, much better than it looks.
What A Piece Of Junk is what happens when the alleged [[The Alleged Car|Alleged Car]] performs like a [[Cool Car]]. This is a vehicle that looks like it will fall apart if you go faster than twenty miles an hour. Your friends won't ride in it for fear of it spontaneously combusting. Well, your eyes are deceiving you: get into it and watch it blast past the competition. It is much, much better than it looks.
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* [[Private Eye]] [[Mike Hammer]] has his "heap", but at one stage it's mentioned that there's a Cadillac engine under the hood.
* [[Private Eye]] [[Mike Hammer]] has his "heap", but at one stage it's mentioned that there's a Cadillac engine under the hood.
* In ''[[The Oregon Files]]'' of the [[NUMA Series]] the titular freighter looks like a giant piece of junk. However it is outfitted with some of the best boating equipment you can imagine. For example that rust you see is really a special paint that keeps the ship off of radar. It has enough firepower to go toe to toe with a Libyan warship. The only thing that stopped the Oregon from sinking said warship was because it would have caused an international incident.
* In ''[[The Oregon Files]]'' of the [[NUMA Series]] the titular freighter looks like a giant piece of junk. However it is outfitted with some of the best boating equipment you can imagine. For example that rust you see is really a special paint that keeps the ship off of radar. It has enough firepower to go toe to toe with a Libyan warship. The only thing that stopped the Oregon from sinking said warship was because it would have caused an international incident.
* In Banjo Paterson's poem ''The Man From Snowy River'', the title character rides an apparent [[The Alleged Steed|Alleged Steed]] described as "a small and weedy beast", but it turns out to be the only non-feral horse in the area that doesn't balk at mountains and keeps its footing in the scrubland.
* In Banjo Paterson's poem ''The Man From Snowy River'', the title character rides an apparent [[The Alleged Steed|Alleged Steed]] described as "a small and weedy beast", but it turns out to be the only non-feral horse in the area that doesn't balk at mountains and keeps its footing in the scrubland.
** Parodied with "Snowy", the pony in ''[[Discworld/The Last Continent|The Last Continent]]'', who is actually a [[Trickster God]] in disguise, and at one point climbs up a vertical cliff, and then ''upside down'' across the overhang.
** Parodied with "Snowy", the pony in ''[[Discworld/The Last Continent|The Last Continent]]'', who is actually a [[Trickster God]] in disguise, and at one point climbs up a vertical cliff, and then ''upside down'' across the overhang.
* In William Gibson's [[Bridge Trilogy]] (and primarily ''[[Virtual Light]]'') Chevette's bicycle is this: a cutting-edge paper-wrapped carbon-fiber frame with a rather serious security system, but carefully painted to look like a beat-up old junker.
* In William Gibson's [[Bridge Trilogy]] (and primarily ''[[Virtual Light]]'') Chevette's bicycle is this: a cutting-edge paper-wrapped carbon-fiber frame with a rather serious security system, but carefully painted to look like a beat-up old junker.
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* All the cars in the ''[[Twisted Metal]]'' series look fairly beat up, although there is a [[Vehicular Combat|good reason...]]
* All the cars in the ''[[Twisted Metal]]'' series look fairly beat up, although there is a [[Vehicular Combat|good reason...]]
* The hovercraft from ''[[Beyond Good & Evil (video game)|Beyond Good and Evil]]''. It's a homemade, custom contraption that's old-fashioned in a futuristic age (most "hovercrafts" actually hover several feet above the ground), beat-up, and likely to break down within about a minute of the first time you get into it. It's also capable of going faster than the ''futuristic'' hovercrafts in races, it's resilient, and you can fit it with all manner of military hardware.
* The hovercraft from ''[[Beyond Good & Evil (video game)|Beyond Good and Evil]]''. It's a homemade, custom contraption that's old-fashioned in a futuristic age (most "hovercrafts" actually hover several feet above the ground), beat-up, and likely to break down within about a minute of the first time you get into it. It's also capable of going faster than the ''futuristic'' hovercrafts in races, it's resilient, and you can fit it with all manner of military hardware.
* About 3/4ths of the Minmatar ships in ''[[Eve Online]]'' could qualify for this.
* About 3/4ths of the Minmatar ships in ''[[EVE Online]]'' could qualify for this.
* ''[[Starcraft II|Starcraft 2: Wings of Liberty]]'' features a discussion between [[Space Western|ex-Marshal]] [[The Hero|Jim Raynor]] and [[Gadgeteer Genius|Chief Mechanic Swann]] over the virtues and drawbacks of [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|Vulture]] [[Recycled in Space|hover-bikes]]. Swann thinks the model is a deathtrap. Raynor, having iconically [[Starcraft|owned one himself]], is not amused.
* ''[[Starcraft II|Starcraft 2: Wings of Liberty]]'' features a discussion between [[Space Western|ex-Marshal]] [[The Hero|Jim Raynor]] and [[Gadgeteer Genius|Chief Mechanic Swann]] over the virtues and drawbacks of [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|Vulture]] [[Recycled in Space|hover-bikes]]. Swann thinks the model is a deathtrap. Raynor, having iconically [[Starcraft|owned one himself]], is not amused.
* Sweet's Greenwood in ''[[Grand Theft Auto San Andreas]]''. At first glance, it appears to be an unremarkable, boxy, and dated sedan (even by 1992 standards), but turns out to be dependable enough that it's the definitive car driven during specific drive-by shootings and car chases in missions. Even after the car survives a [[Helicopter Blender]], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-P0HkRCCplI#t=9m09s ends up in a spectacular crash with a tanker trailer], and Sweet's stint in prison, Sweet remained insistent reacquiring the same car, having the player driving it in late in the storyline and the final mission.
* Sweet's Greenwood in ''[[Grand Theft Auto San Andreas]]''. At first glance, it appears to be an unremarkable, boxy, and dated sedan (even by 1992 standards), but turns out to be dependable enough that it's the definitive car driven during specific drive-by shootings and car chases in missions. Even after the car survives a [[Helicopter Blender]], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-P0HkRCCplI#t=9m09s ends up in a spectacular crash with a tanker trailer], and Sweet's stint in prison, Sweet remained insistent reacquiring the same car, having the player driving it in late in the storyline and the final mission.
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== Web Original ==
== Web Original ==
* In ''[[Project 0]]'' Aatu prides himself on his [http://centralcitytower.blogspot.com/2010/03/machine-introduction-buggy.html buggy], even though Owen is quick to make fun of it.
* In ''[[Project 0]]'' Aatu prides himself on his [http://centralcitytower.blogspot.com/2010/03/machine-introduction-buggy.html buggy], even though Owen is quick to make fun of it.
** Still it manages to keep up with a magical flying boy so it probably applies.
** Still it manages to keep up with a magical flying boy so it probably applies.
* The [[AH Dot Com the Series|MES]] ''[[AH Dot Com the Series|AH.com]]''. It looks pretty broken down thanks to years of ramshackle repairs by a skeleton crew, but with an AI to even up the balance, it can still kick arse.
* The [[AH Dot Com the Series|MES]] ''[[AH Dot Com the Series|AH.com]]''. It looks pretty broken down thanks to years of ramshackle repairs by a skeleton crew, but with an AI to even up the balance, it can still kick arse.
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* This trope, as applied to gaming PCs circa 2011: Imagine a quad-core processor, many gigs of ram, solid-state hard drive, powerful graphics card, power supply, and cooling system...housed inside a mid-90s boxy beige Compaq Presario case with "Pentium II" and "Designed for Windows 95" case badges.
* This trope, as applied to gaming PCs circa 2011: Imagine a quad-core processor, many gigs of ram, solid-state hard drive, powerful graphics card, power supply, and cooling system...housed inside a mid-90s boxy beige Compaq Presario case with "Pentium II" and "Designed for Windows 95" case badges.
* There are stories circulating in the automotive industry about some Volkswagen engineers in Germany who took a [[wikipedia:Volkswagen Type 2 (T1)#T2|Volkswagen Bus]] (a minivan with an anemic 48hp engine), outfitted it with the best Porsche engine on the market, and went blasting down the Autobahn at speeds upwards of 150 miles per hour.
* There are stories circulating in the automotive industry about some Volkswagen engineers in Germany who took a [[wikipedia:Volkswagen Type 2 (T1)#T2|Volkswagen Bus]] (a minivan with an anemic 48hp engine), outfitted it with the best Porsche engine on the market, and went blasting down the Autobahn at speeds upwards of 150 miles per hour.
* The [[wikipedia:Toyota FJ40|Toyota FJ40]], also sold as [http://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toyota_Bandeirante Toyota Bandeirante] in Brazil, manufactured until 2001. Rather plain on the outside, but still beats [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfbFJ__UkIQ many newer pick-up trucks].
* The [[wikipedia:Toyota FJ40|Toyota FJ40]], also sold as [http://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toyota_Bandeirante Toyota Bandeirante] in Brazil, manufactured until 2001. Rather plain on the outside, but still beats [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfbFJ__UkIQ many newer pick-up trucks].
* The M35A2 [[wikipedia:M35 2%C2%BD ton cargo truck|Truck, Cargo, 2 1/2 ton]]. A K A the Deuce-and-a-Half, or Deuce. No power steering, wimpy brakes, underpowered engine, [[Driving Stick|iffy choice of gears]] (Big step between 3rd and 4th), and less than half of them actually had heaters that could keep the windshield clear on really cold days.
* The M35A2 [[wikipedia:M35 2%C2%BD ton cargo truck|Truck, Cargo, 2 1/2 ton]]. A K A the Deuce-and-a-Half, or Deuce. No power steering, wimpy brakes, underpowered engine, [[Driving Stick|iffy choice of gears]] (Big step between 3rd and 4th), and less than half of them actually had heaters that could keep the windshield clear on really cold days.
** I'll still take one over a Hummer any day. More cargo capacity by weight ''and'' cubic footage, better view (higher seating position and larger windows) fewer reliability issues despite being of circa 1965 to 1975 build dates. Though they've been almost if not entirely phased out of active military service.
** I'll still take one over a Hummer any day. More cargo capacity by weight ''and'' cubic footage, better view (higher seating position and larger windows) fewer reliability issues despite being of circa 1965 to 1975 build dates. Though they've been almost if not entirely phased out of active military service.
* [http://jalopnik.com/5497042/how-a-500-craigslist-car-beat-400k-rally-racers This] $500 BMW held its own against state-of-the-art cars at a World Rally Championship race.
* [http://jalopnik.com/5497042/how-a-500-craigslist-car-beat-400k-rally-racers This] $500 BMW held its own against state-of-the-art cars at a World Rally Championship race.
* [http://jalopnik.com/5297014/oklahoma-home-of-the-sleepiest-sleeper-truck-ever The Farm Truck] Looks like a beat up old Chevy, but runs 12.3s quarter miles
* [http://jalopnik.com/5297014/oklahoma-home-of-the-sleepiest-sleeper-truck-ever The Farm Truck] Looks like a beat up old Chevy, but runs 12.3s quarter miles
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