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{{work}}
Quotes from the [[Fountain of Memes|highly quotable]] ''[[Whose Line Is It Anyway?]]''.
----
= UK side
== Welcome To ''Whose Line Is It Anyway?''... ==
Line 10:
== (taking suggestions) ==
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|Clive: We need a suggestion for a superhero that Greg can be.
Audience Member: Ejaculator Man!
Clive: Come again? }}
{{quote|Clive: We need a world crisis that Greg has to confront-
Audience Member: English Television!}}
{{quote|Audience Member: [[Apocalypse Now]]!
Clive: Yes, sir, coming right up.}}
== Authors ==
{{quote|
Clive: "Yes... and little else..." }}
== Film, TV, and Theater Styles ==
{{quote|
Paul: I'd like to lodge a complaint...
Tony: It's the plumbing, isn't it?
Paul: It's the plumbing, the floorboards - rather the lack of them, there's no roof, no walls, it's just a building site with a card with Your House written on it...
Clive: (buzzes) Let's do Greek Tragedy.
Tony: The problem is that the builder has been murdered, Off-stage! (laughter)
Paul: Not Stavrost, surely!
Tony: No, Escalus, with a knife, dripping in the Mediterranean sun, he plastered his bricks and died.
Paul: That's rather unlucky in Peckham isn't it? }}
{{quote|
Ryan: Y'know, the hippos around here are quite fierce too - you wouldn't think of them as meat animals, but they can rip a man apart.
Colin: What about a woman?
Ryan: [[Bait and Switch|...Well, a woman can rip a man apart too, but...]] }}
== World's Worst ==
{{quote|
Mike: (steps up) "[[Hilarious in Hindsight|It's the OJ Simpson trial, year 22...]]" (buzzed)<br />
Tony: (steps up) "Oh look, it's that tv show where Clive patronises people from all over the world..." (buzzed)<br />
Line 61:
== Scenes From A Hat ==
{{quote|
Ryan: (to his 'date') "Care for any more... turd?"
Clive: (reads another) "''Bringing bad news to the king.''"
Chip: "My lord... the flies have eaten all your turd..." }}
{{quote|
Tony: (to Josie) "[[Fetish Retardant|Algeria.]]" }}
{{quote|
Rory: [[Take That|(as Prince Charles) "Camilla Parker-Bowles."]] }}
== Hoedown ==
{{quote|
I wear them in the day and I wear them in the night
Now some people think they affect my circulation
But I..." (passes out on the floor) }}
{{quote|
We've got people who sleep soundly, you'll never hear them snore!
We've got trees and planes and things and things and things and things and things,
And everyone - EVERYONE - ...sings better than this." }}
== Hats ==
{{quote|
Caroline: (using the same helmet) "...well they said to try something with wings, so I did..." }}
{{quote|
{{quote|
== Party Quirks ==
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|(Clive hits the buzzer by accident instead of the doorbell.)
Paul: Excuse me, someone's at the microwave. }}
== Home Shopping Channel ==
{{quote|
'''Ryan:''' It's four o'clock and...it's time to shop! I'm Gary!
'''Colin:''' And I'm Gary too!
'''Ryan:''' And boy have we got some bargains for you today, so get out those cheque books and get on that phone!
'''Colin:''' Hey Gary, what's that you've got in your hand?
'''Ryan:''' Well I've got pictures here Gary are they...oh! I don't remember taking these pictures!
'''Colin:''' Why, they seem to be pictures of someone totally someone different from you!
'''Ryan:''' Well that's lucky for me 'cause every member of my family is so damn ugly that I don't want to take pictures of them, but these ''are'' beautiful pictures. ''(Showing photos)'' Look how beautiful my wife is!
'''Colin:''' She's beautiful!
'''Ryan:''' Look how gorgeous my kids are!
'''Colin:''' They're beautiful!
'''Ryan:''' This is us in Tahiti, you know where that is?
'''Colin:''' ...[[Rule of Three|It's beautiful!]]<br />
'''Ryan:''' I don't know where that it because I've never been there - ''Or have I??'' Who knows!<br />
Line 143:
== Props ==
{{quote|
Mike: (slaps the gel into Sandi's hands) "Here. [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|If you loved me, you'd swallow it.]]"<br />
(''later'')<br />
Sandi: (slap it back into Mike's hands) "I love you, I swallowed it, here's the end product." }}
Line 150:
== Misc. ==
{{quote|
Steve: "''[[As Long
Paul: "Good evening everyone, I am very pleased to be here in your wonderful country."<br />
Steve: "''Le vouschou endezenya deneebouscheletede.''"<br />
Paul: "How can I best describe to you the wonder that is Albanian television."<br />
Steve: (singsong) "''Ohhh vezkenyezke viekouziekezenya...''"<br />
Paul: "[[Translation: "Yes"|...It's rubbish.]]"<br />
Steve: "''Da mouskenetenya dara vouzkenetnya-vezkeyotezenya eehh...''"<br />
Paul: "Now when I say rubbish, let me be a bit more specific than that, it's more than rubbish..."<br />
Line 164:
Paul: "Oh, I can hear you throwing your arms up in amazement, surely no Albanian television isn't as bad as that..."<br />
Steve: (agitated) "''Vaza histemetemutuenya bada histenya!''"<br />
Paul: "Well let me tell you, we have [[Postman Pat]] on [[Screwed
Steve: "''[[
Paul: "[[Executive Meddling|But because of several cutbacks...]]"<br />
Steve: "''Aaaah zkudedya!''"<br />
Line 176:
Paul: "...We do get quite a lot of Shirley Bassey." }}
{{quote|
Ryan: (listening to the ground) "Buffalo come..." [[That Came Out Wrong|(realisation dawns, audience is already laughing)]]<br />
Colin: "[[Crosses the Line Twice|You didn't have you stick your ear in it, y'know...]]" }}
{{quote|
Ryan: (cheesy laughter) "A penguin!"
Colin: (similarly) "...I give up, what?"
Ryan: (beat) "What am I gonna shove up your ass if you don't get me a beer?" }}
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----
= US side
== "Welcome to ''Whose Line Is It Anyway?'', the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are like... ==
{{quote|
"...the spy satellites over Canada."
"...whoever's standing behind you in a buffet line."
"...everything else when you own a [[Cool Car|Porsche]]."<br />
Ryan: "None of us would know, Drew..."<br />
Line 210:
== "At the end of the show, the winner gets to do a little something special with me... ==
{{quote|
"...and the loser has to mop it up."
* ...the loser has to lead the goat back to the yard."
"...and the loser gets lipo-sucked... [[Paranoia Fuel|but we won't tell 'em where!]]"<br />
"...and the loser has to sew it back on."<br />
Line 219:
"...and the loser has to ''[[Take That|go back to Canada where he belongs!]]''" }}
== "Welcome back to [[
{{quote|
"...or as [[The Silence of the Lambs|Hannibal Lecter]] calls me, Dinner For Two."<br />
"...known in the world of [[Bawdy Song|dirty limericks as]] 'The Man From Nantucket'."<br />
Line 234:
== Greatest Hits ==
{{quote|
Colin: (excited) "Hi!"
Ryan: "How are you?"
Colin: "Fine! W..."
Ryan: "We don't know what you're watching, so we're not gonna tell you when we return you to it!"
Colin: "Oh, w... We're watching animal porn!"
(audience explodes , Colin realize he say something out of the blue while burying his face as then Drew buzzes as Colin takes a moment)
Ryan: What? (As he began to crack up)
Colin: "[[Digging Yourself Deeper|'Mary Had A Little Lamb' will be right back...]] in just a second, but ja..."<br />
(Ryan really cracks up while covering his face while Drew buzzes again, the game is practically aborted as we see Wayne, Jeff and Drew's reactions for a bit)<br />
Line 247:
Ryan: (mock-chirpy) "(We are...) so happy, 'We're Watching Animal Porn'!" }}
{{quote|
Ryan: "You were [[Raised
Colin: "I was [[Raised
(Beat)<br />
Ryan: "[[Military Brat]], huh?"<br />
Colin: "[[
{{quote|
"...we'll throw in one of Ryan's shoes, which comfortably seats 4!"
"...we'll send you absolutely free, absolutely nothing!!"
"...we'll send you absolutely free, the box it comes in!"
"...it'll still take 4 to 6 weeks to get there."
"...we'll send you —free— a box of fresh AIR!! That's right!! Air!"
Ryan: "Oh we just can't give away fresh air!"
Colin: "Yes we can! From the makers of Breath Free, makers of air for Eternityyyy! (starts to laugh at what the hell he just said) }}
{{quote|
"[[Shaped Like Itself|...every hit a song!]]"<br />
"[[A Worldwide Punomenon|...every hit a smack!]]"<br />
"...every hit... goes into your batting average." }}
{{quote|
Colin: "Oh, tapioca."<br />
Ryan: (Confused) "Really? Why's that?"<br />
Line 276:
Ryan: (Still trying to compose himself) "It is!...Why don't you tell the people about it?" }}
{{quote|
Colin: (Confused) "A Tern? An Arctic Tern?"
Ryan: (Confused) "Really? And what sound does an Arctic Tern make?"
Colin: (Squaking-voice) "[[Backstreet Boys]]!"
Ryan: (Cracks up). "No, Colin, that's ''wrong.''" }}
{{quote|
== A deleted scene
{{quote|
Colin: I'm kinda tired, why don't you take it?
''(beat)''
Ryan: [[Precision F
''(Colin and Ryan head back to their seats)''<br />
Drew: I don't know if anyone told you, but we have a campus minister and a 17-year-old in the audience. }}
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== Scenes From A Hat ==
{{quote|
Ryan: "Dear Diary:... Ryan looked at me the other day. (Drew starts buzzing) How I wish he would come over to my desk and then we c... (buzzing continues, Ryan leaves)
(beat)
Ryan: "Dear Diary:... (audience already laughing) When will people find out I'm not a man?" (buzzed out)
Drew: (picks another one) "What our audience is thinking right now."
Ryan: (immediately) "Wonder if that's all true?" }}
{{quote|
Drew: "Here we go. ''Rejected Themes For Restaurants.''"
Wayne: (singing) "C'mon in, Howdy feller / You can catch, Salmonella / Eat it!"
Josie: (overexcited) "Hello and welcome to Dead {{spoiler|Cats}}, 109 recipes that you can do with your {{spoiler|pussy}}!"
(audience explodes, Wayne is visibly speechless while Colin and Ryan grin ear to ear)
Drew: "I dunno if they told you, but in America we can only get away with that if you pronounce it {{spoiler|puss-ay}}..."
(more laughs all round)
Josie: "I'm so sorry..."
Drew: "That's all right, hey..."
Ryan: "Oh don't be ''sorry''!"
Drew: "[[Refuge in Audacity|Ain't nothin' wrong with it baby!]]... I'm not sayin' there's somethin' wrong with it, I'm just saying you can't ''say it''..."<br />
Ryan: (indicating the directors) "''[["Stop Having Fun!" Guys|They]]'' don't like it!" }}
{{quote|
Kathy: "I'll just try on these bikinis in here I guess..." *wildtake*
Wayne: ([[Testosterone Poisoning|MANLY voice]]) "I'll just try on these bikinis in here I guess..." *see above* }}
{{quote|
Ryan: (with imaginary megaphone) "In ten minutes, we bring out the liquor!"
Wayne: (same) {{spoiler|"I'M the [[A Worldwide Punomenon|licker]]!}}
Ryan: (again) "Everyone please retain your ticket stubs; we will now raffle off Drew's Porsche!" }}
{{quote|
Wayne: "Don't worry, Mrs Johnson, I'll have her back by 10. I'll be finished by then."
Chip: "Don't worry, Mrs Johnson, I'll have her back by 10. [[Running Gag|That's when the wife gets home...]]"<br />
Wayne: (accompanied by Chip) "Don't worry, Mr & Mrs Johnson, ''we'll'' have her back by 10." [[Refuge in Audacity|(cheeky grins)]]<br />
Chip: "[[Crosses the Line Twice|Don't worry, Mrs Johnson, I'll have Mr Johnson back by 10.]]" }}
{{quote|
Wayne: "I'd like to thank the dark one, for making this possible..."
Colin: "Man... you don't know how many (bleep) I've had my (bleep) up just to get this...!"
Wayne: (self-satisfied grin) "It's been an honor working with Colin Mochrie all these years..." }}
{{quote|
[[Robin Williams]]: "I have a career. What the hell am I doing?" }}
{{quote|
Wayne: (Pretends to pick up a sea shell) "PUT ME DOWN!!!" }}
{{quote|
Wayne: "Eight o'clock: Count my money! Eight-thirty: count my money! Nine o'clock..." (*buzz*) }}
{{quote|
Wayne: "Mommy, how come no one looks like me on ''[[Friends]]''?"
Colin: "Mommy, how come no one looks like ''me'' on ''[[Friends]]''?"
(''later:'')
Drew: I said "Difficult Questions"...
(''[[Dude, Not Funny|the audience boos]]'')<br />
Colin: I'm adorable.<br />
(''the audience cheers'')<br />
Ryan: [[Call Back|You looked better before you lost your]] ([[This Trope Is Bleep|Bleep]]) <ref>erection</ref>... }}
{{quote|
Colin: "Mississippi... I'm ''still'' in Mississippi..."
Wayne: "Mississippi... ''I'm'' still in Mississippi..." }}
{{quote|
Wayne: [[Camp Gay|(girly voice) "Hurt youu!"]]<br />
Ryan: "Don't shoot till you [[See the Whites of Their Eyes|see the whites!]]" [[Crosses the Line Twice|(Wayne runs across)]]<br />
Line 367:
Drew: "[[Call Back|Where the hell are my brown pants, I asked for 'em...]]" }}
{{quote|
Ryan: "[[Dirty Harry
Robin: "[[The Greatest Story Ever Told|Well, surely you must be the son of God!]]"<br />
Ryan: "I'm [[Spartacus]]!<br />
Line 374:
Ryan (Still as Carol Channing): "I'm Spartacus!" }}
{{quote|
Ryan: "Hi, I'm Drew Carey, I need some more bald jokes for my show..."<br />
Wayne: "[[Take That|Hi, I'm Ryan Stiles, Drew just fired me, can I have a job?]]"<br />
Colin: "Hi, I'm the Teflon Eunuch..." }}
{{quote|
(later)
Colin: "[[Toilet Humor|I do murals with my own faeces!]]" (buzzed out)<br />
Drew: "Some big city mayors in this country say that's not art, [[True Art Is Incomprehensible|well I say they're wrong!]] (takes next card) ''Bizarre ways to describe the taste of a wine.''"<br />
Wayne: (mimes sipping something) "[[Call Back|This taste like a painting by Colin Mochrie!]]" }}
{{quote|
Greg: Wow, you can fit four in there! }}
{{quote|
Brad: (''pretending to read'') "Colin '''is''' here"?!" (''looks up'')
Ryan: (''pretends to sit on toilet, stands up, looks down, looks up again, pretends to write'') "I give myself a thousand points!". (''walks away, walks back, pretends to flush''). }}
{{quote|
Brad: (''to Wayne'') The good news is we're going to name a disease after you. (''Wayne sighs in relief until he stops in realization'')
Colin: (''to Wayne'') You're on a funny show. It's against ''[[Friends]]''.
Wayne: (''to Colin'') Honey, I'm pregnant! Meet the father! (''Brad walks over and hugs Wayne'') }}
{{quote|
Greg: Grandpa's dead! Gimme a D! Gimme a E! Gimme a-come on! where's you're enthusiasm?!
Ryan: Vasectomy! Vasectomy! Clip! Clip! Clip!
Wayne: Okay! Somebody's goin' to the 'lectric chair! Gonna fry! Gonna fry! Somebody's goin' to the 'lectric chair! Gonna fry! Gonna-(''pretends to be electrocuted'') come on! }}
{{quote|
Chip: Your majesty... (''pretends to slap'')
Ryan: (''walking out with Colin'') I'm sorry, but your husband's not going to make it. (''pretends to slap Colin's butt'')
Wayne: (''walks out with Chip, kneeling, speaking with high voice'') On behalf of the entire 3rd grade class, we'd like to present you with the best teacher award. (''begins slapping Chip's butt'')
Chip: (''walks out with Wayne'') How are the hemorrhoids? (''slaps Wayne's butt, making Wayne scream in pain'') }}
{{quote|
Wayne: (''in Southern accent'') A wife ain't nuthin' but just a sister that ya hug.
Colin: (''in Southern accent'') When the going gets tough, [[Deliverance|squeal like a pig]]. }}
{{quote|
Brad: (''to Wayne'') [[Does This Make Me Look Fat?|Honey, you don't look as fat as you did]] ''[[Does This Make Me Look Fat?|yesterday...]]'' (''Wayne mimes punching him'')<br />
Wayne: [[Take That|Drew doesn't do a damn thing.]] (''Drew buzzes him repeatedly, in rhythm. Wayne mouths "Nothing."'') Just read off the cards. Just read off the...(''imitates the buzzer'') That's ''all.''<br />
(''later, Wayne is about to come down but goes back onto the ledge'')<br />
Line 421:
Wayne: (''steps down'') Honey, well, those jeans ''do'' make you look a ''little'' fat. [[I Warned You|See?]] (''Drew fakes laughter'') Shut up! (''Drew buzzes him'') [[Running Gag|Not a damn thing.]] }}
{{quote|
Wayne: (''pretends to spray'') I call it "Like Ass".
Ryan: You know you're getting lucky when you're wearing "Eau de Pork"...
Colin: [[Running Gag|"Nice Pants"]], the smell of corduroy. }}
{{quote|
Wayne: Now who's the slightly effeminate one? That's me! That's me!
Brad: Who dropped the soap? Who dropped the soap?...
Ryan: Jim's escaping through the hole in the wall! The hole in the wall, the hole in...
Colin: With the wig, you remind me of Julia... }}
{{quote|
Ryan: (''pretending to pull string on doll'') "Lower..."
Greg: "[[The Drew Carey Show|Mimi]] and I are the same person!" }}
{{quote|
Wayne: (''pretending to hold book'') Hmm, "My Life of Leisure: [[Take That|Behind the Desk]]"...<br />
Colin: (''pretending to hold book'') [[Running Gag|"The Difference Between Continents and Countries"]]. }}
{{quote|
Wayne: Please, Lord. Don't let the Mr. Drew come in my window.
Brad: Jesus? Don't let Wayne knock over the table.
Colin: Lord, please get me out of my contract that says I must shave my head so they can keep making bald jokes.
Brad: Lord, please make Ryan stop wearing clown shoes. (''camera cuts to'' ''[[Nice Shoes|Ryan's shoes]],'' ''then to Ryan'' ''[[Flipping the Bird|scratching his head with his middle finger]]'')<br />
Wayne: Lord? Please give me ringside seats when Ryan kicks Brad's ass! }}
{{quote|
Ryan: (''singing'') What's the matter with roadkill? What's the matter with roadkill?!
Colin: (''singing'') How does food become poo? I'll...tell...YOU!
Ryan: (''singing'') Why...do dogs lick themselves? }}
{{quote|
Wayne: I gotta ''pee,'' man! }}
{{quote|
Wayne: (''pretending to drive'') Come and *hang out* in Alabama! (''pretends to turn around'')
Ryan: (''pretending to drive'') Welcome to Montana. There's nobody here.
Greg: (''pretending to drive'') Entering Ohio. Watch out for Drew! (''pretends to drive over a bump'')
Ryan: (''pretending to drive'') Welcome to Hawaii. How'd you get here in a car?
Colin: (''pretending to drive'') Entering Rhode Island. Thanks for visiting Rhode Island.
Ryan: (''pretending to drive'') Utah welcomes you and your wives. }}
{{quote|
(''Ryan pretends to sit down'')
Ryan: (''singing'') Where did all the toilet paper go, the toilet paper go, the toilet paper go?... }}
{{quote|
Wayne: (''imitating elevator bell'') Ding! (''singing'') Who did it? Who did it?
Chip: (''singing'') Not me! (''pointing at Colin'') Must've been him!
Colin: (''singing'') Guilty as charged! }}
{{quote|
{{quote|
Ryan: Come sleep with me! Come sleep with me twice! I think that would be very nice! Looky looky, at the size of my shoe! [[Bigger Is Better in Bed|You know what they say?]] Yes, it is true!<br />
Brad: ''Are You My Mommy''? }}
{{quote|
Brad: I'm king of the squirrels! (''pretends to act like a squirrel'')
(''Brad and Wayne walk onstage'')
Wayne (''holding Brad's hand''): Rose, promise me that you'll... Hey, I can stand up!
(''Brad and Colin walk on'')
Brad: Welcome, Rose. [[
{{quote|
Brad: "I love the taste of salt water... filling my lungs."
Colin: "Corpses bobbing in the sea. Ha ha ha ha, hee hee hee." }}
{{quote|
(''Wayne and Chip huddle up'')
Chip: (''in effeminate voice'') He's such a bitch, he scratched my eyes out! }}
{{quote|
Chip: "All right, this is a stickup! [[Too Dumb to Live|Does anybody have a gun I could use?]]" }}
== Weird Newscasters ==
{{quote|
"...fun after dark."
"...[[Take That|sick of]] [[Survivor]]."<br />
"...Curved Slightly."<br />
"...Wide Butnotpainful." }}
{{quote|
"...Thor Butnotcomplaining."
"[[Verbal Tic|...Thor Buttockth.]]"<br />
"[[Self
"...Keith My-pasty-white-butt."<br />
"...Yasser Yasser Threebagsfull." }}
{{quote|
(camera cuts to Drew, who nearly has a [[Spit Take]] at the joke) }}
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
== Weird Superheroes ==
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
== World's Worst ==
{{quote|
Colin: "Oh, those frustrating banana peels! How do you get them off the banana?" (laughter) "Hold the banana firmly in one hand..." (buzzed out)
(Beat)
Colin: "[[Black Comedy|Oh, those frustrating gerbil skins!...]]" }}
{{quote|
Ryan: "I will not accept this award [[The Great Politics Mess
{{quote|
Drew: (''impersonating [[Jerry Lewis]]'') Well, hi, if ya gimme the knife and the baby! I'll take the lil cut, okay! }}
== Hats ==
{{quote|
Greg: (quietly laughing to himself, then) "I have a giant fish head on... I'm forty-two f--king years old..."
(Wayne later uses the same fish head)
Wayne: "I'm just looking for a nice piece of bass..." }}
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
(later)
Ryan: (eating one of the bananas) "I don't have anything, I'm just really hungry..."
(game ends, Ryan takes banana back to his seat, still eating)
Drew: "I could watch you eat that banana ''aaaaaaaall night''..."
(Ryan gets a disgusted look on his face and stops eating) }}
{{quote|
(mild audience response)
Greg: "...but when I'm not funny I sit here with this [[Precision F
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
{{quote|
Ryan (wearing a plush shark that appears to be eating his scalp): "Looks like [[Intercourse
== Hoedown ==
{{quote|
Over the years, I've taken lots of abuse
I've broken both my knees, smashed my head on the turnbuckle
Because of all my injuries I've lost the ability to [[Last
== Let's Make A Date ==
{{quote|
Colin: (as 'a beauty queen') "NOO! THAT'S THE MARK OF DEATH!!" }}
{{quote|
Josie: "...and Colin is... on the casting couch...?"
Drew: "Says here Colin is 'a model on her first porno shoot'..."
Josie: "Well, that's... because normally I wouldn't put Colin and porno shoot in the same sentence..." (audience reacts) "Aw shush, he knows I love 'im..." }}
{{quote|
Drew: "...ok, Wayne... who are they?"
Wayne: "Well let's see. Bachelor no. 1 was a... jilted ex-boyfriend."
Drew: "And where do those people usually show up?"
Wayne: "[[Noodle Incident|...at my house?]]" (starts pretending to cry) }}
{{quote|
Brad: (as a puritan witchhunter) "Yes, ''harlot''?"
Wayne: "[[Insult Backfire|...Now how'd you know my middle name?]]" }}
== Irish Drinking Song ==
{{quote|
Drew: ''With my luh...girl Elaine'' (botches line)
Colin: ''Boy, we had some fun''
Ryan: ''And then'' (yells gibberish at Drew)
Wayne: (collapses in hysterics)
Drew: (doubled over in laughter, embarrassment)
Colin: Meow!
(the game grinds to a halt as practically everyone cracks up; then they attempt a restart)
Ryan: ''I lost track of the story''
Wayne: ''I don't know what has happened''
Drew: ''She wrote me a letter''
Colin: ''My underwear's a-snappin'!''
Ryan: ''I think there was a girl involved''
Wayne: ''...That's what I'm thinkin'...''
Drew: ''...I don't know what to say...''
Colin: Meow!
(everyone cracks up again; only Colin is able to sing them home at the end) }}
{{quote|
Wayne: ''I took my lass on a date!''
Chip: ''We went out for the night!''
Colin: ''As we hit the parking lot!''
Ryan: ''I got into a fight!''
Wayne: ''Scuffled, he took my wallet!''
Chip: ''He ran away so fast!''
Colin: ''I started crying!''
Ryan: (trying to think of a line)''....A stone I passed!''
(Due to what Ryan says, they have to chant twice as some of them crack up)
All: ''Oh, i-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di! Oh, i-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di!''
Chip: ''I scream just like a lassie!''
Colin: ''I ran right after him!''
Ryan: ''I jumped into my car!''
Wayne: ''The mugger's name was Tim!''
Chip: ''I put on my siren!''
Colin: ''And it roared out loud!''
Ryan: '' He came to a stop!''
Wayne: ''And beat me in front of the crowd!''
All: ''Oh, i-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di!''
Colin: ''I decided to take action!''
Ryan: ''I hit him with a club!''
Wayne: ''I hit him where the sun don't shine!''
Chip: '' He says "Hey! Watch it bub!"''
Colin: ''And then he ran away from me!''
Ryan: ''I followed him!''
Wayne: ''I became a hero!''
Chip: ''And my name is Tim!''
All: ''Oh, i-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di!''
Ryan: ''I still hear from him!''
Wayne: ''From often!''
Chip: ''He writes a little letter!''
Colin: ''It's as soft as cotton!''
Ryan: ''And someday I'll write back!''
Wayne: ''He's my best friend!''
Chip: ''And now we both are penpals!''
Colin: ''He put my stone back at my end!''
(Due to that line, everyone crack up, leaving Colin to finish the chant)
Colin: ''Oh, i-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di!Oh, i-dee, di-dee, di-dee, di-dee,''
Colin, Wayne and Chip: (Wayne and Chip tried to finish the chant) ''Di-dee, di-dee, di!'' }}
== Infomercial ==
{{quote|
{{quote|
== Song Titles ==
{{quote|
Colin: ...nice pants. }}
{{quote|
Ryan: (''pointing'') Itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini...
Wayne: (''pointing back'') One-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eater.
Ryan: (''looking at Wayne's genital area'') [[Hair (
Wayne: (''pointing at Ryan's gental area'') [[Shaft]]! }}
== Misc. ==
{{quote|
Drew: "Kathy is an impatient customer who pulls into Ryan's gas station, where he is pumping gas; Wayne is a ''thief'' who has come to rob them..." (Kathy, to her credit, sees it coming and laughs)
Wayne: "[[Angry Black Man|Why I gotta be the thief?]]" (laughter erupts)<br />
Drew: "I dunno... Maybe you should count your blessings, [[Take That|if this was NBC you probably wouldn't even be on this show...]]"<br />
Line 709:
Wayne: (quietly mouthing) "[[Call Back|How come I gotta be the]] [[Unfortunate Implications|monkey?]]" }}
{{quote|
Drew: "Let's go on to a game called 'let's Make a Date'. this is for all four of you, Wayne, you're going on a dating-type show... [[Oh Crap|oh.]]"<br />
(Wayne is already on his feet when the audience erupts)<br />
Line 717:
Drew: [[The Tonight Show|(touches cuecard to head)]] "What is... Greg's next job." }}
{{quote|
(Crowd laughs as Wayne mocks getting up to leave.)
Drew: "Africa's a big country, right by India, Madagascar is right off..."
(Greg laughs hysterically)
Greg: "It's also a big ''continent'' if you're a geographer!" }}
{{quote| (after 'African Chant' ends
Wayne: "That's gonna get me in good with all the brothers and sisters in the motherland..."<br />
Ryan: "Don't you live in Sherman Oaks?" }}
Line 733:
Ryan: Was that lit?<br />
Colin: Yeah, it was. Wouldn't it be better if your head burst into flames?<br />
Drew: [[How Many Fingers?|How many fingers am I holding up?]]<br />
Ryan: Four?<br />
Drew: Ah, close enough.<br />
Line 748:
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Whose Line Is It Anyway?]]
[[Category:Quotes]]
[[Category:Whose Line Is It Anyway?]]
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