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== Zoofights I ==
The contestants for Zoofights 1 were not given names initially, although several of them received names towards the end. Most of them are therefore referred to with [[Exactly What It Says
=== Ten Gibbons With Clubs For Arms / Four Gibbons With Spring Legs And Egg Whisks For Arms / Devil Gibbon ===
* [[Everything's Better
=== Six Lions On Roller Skates With Cannons For Asses/Two Flying Lions With Cyborg Torsos/Lion Head On A Motorbike ===
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* [[Zerg Rush]]
=== Firenoceros ===
* [[Kill It
=== Three Flying Tiger Sharks ===
* [[Everything's Even Worse
=== Team Cheetah / The Steed of The Savannah ===
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Although hailing from various countries was a staple of later stories, in Zoofights 1 only a few entrants used their home country to provide character. The Cosmonaut Gorillas were one example, hailing from Russia. Over the course of the tournament they were beaten up worse and worse until what was left was "nailed together into a roughly apelike form" and given a Sega Genesis for a head, resulting in the Royal Rumble Winner and [[Crowning Moment of Funny]] Sega Gorillesis.
* [[Shout
=== Two Elephants On Tank Tracks / Tankophant / Hulkaphant / Hulkaphant Plus ===
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* [[Eldritch Abomination]]
* [[Gone Horribly Wrong]]
{{quote|
* {{spoiler|[[Staying Alive]]}}
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* [[Funny Animal]]
* [[Took a Level
=== 200 Radioactive Tarantulas with Jetpacks ===
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=== Three Firebreathing Frogs The Size And Shape of Sylvester Stallone / Cancerman ===
* [[Blessed
{{quote|
* [[Kill It
* [[The Woobie]]: They're portrayed as hilariously pitiable, especially when the last surviving frog gets cancer. Winds up getting invoked in-universe when even the normally heartless Zoofights Inc takes pity on him and allows him to quit a hopeless fight with Swanmass instead of leaving him to die.
=== John Burnell ===
Retired police chief John Burnell, from ''America’s Scariest Police Chases''! He appears near the end of Zoofights 1 to battle Sega Gorillesis in an exhibition match, but soon winds up joining Mechos, Hulkaphant, and Porky Punisher in the final battle against Swanmass.
* [[Badass Normal]]
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Is it possible to have too much of a good thing? The Shark Brothers are four clones of the late Owen Hart, with the head and arms replaced with shark heads. A fourth shark head is planted in the chest, for a total of sixteen shark heads.
* [[Everything's Even Worse
=== Hive Lions ===
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One of the most mysterious zoofighters ever, Owl Patrol began life as 80 human beings. Once survivors of the Vietnam War, these shellshocked veterans were subjected to horrific experiments as Zoofights Inc slowly turned them into owl-men. Even Zoofights was disturbed at what they created, and decided to release them in the hope that they'd never pop up again. 30 years later, they did. Investigating reports of missing people, Zoofights representatives ventured into a mysterious cave and discovered that 20 members of Owl Patrol still lived.
{{quote|
=== The Institution ===
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=== Snakes On A Brain ===
One of the most ludicrous monsters ever to enter Zoofights, this monstrosity is a sperm whale brain in an armored dome, upon which sits a laser turret. Surrounding the dome, like tentacles, are the front halves of twelve anacondas.
* [[Brain In
* [[Punny Name]]
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* [[Chest Burster]]: Used against {{spoiler|Reanimammut}}.
* {{spoiler|[[Heroic Sacrifice]]: Against From Hell.}}
* [[High
* [[Quintessential British Gentleman]]
* [[Spot of Tea]]: Steamcrab loves his tea, even starting his first battle holding the cup.
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{{spoiler|Reanimammut is defeated in the first round by Steamcrab. It later faces off against the lobotomised Ultraphant in the losers league.}}
* [[Attack! Attack! Attack!]]
* [[Everything's Deader
* [[The Juggernaut]]
* {{spoiler|[[Vodka Drunkenski]]: His upgrades for the losers league were surgically implanted Vodka tanks, allowing him to drink up whenever hhe felt like it.}}
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* [[Eyepatch of Power]]
* {{spoiler|[[Heroic Sacrifice]]: Against From Hell.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Impaled
* [[High Altitude Battle]]: {{spoiler|In the semifinal against Steamcrab.}}
* [[Power Armor]]
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{{spoiler|In the end, the Tapogres achieved nothing, being effortlessly humiliated in the first round by Oh The Huge Manatee. Every subsequent appearance has them being useless, ineffectual or both.}}
* [[Attack! Attack! Attack!]]: Honestly too stupid to do anything else.
* [[Butt Monkey]]: Pretty much the ultimate example in the world of Zoofights.
** For proof of how far this goes, {{spoiler|in their second match against a crippled Edward Tigerhands, most people gave them their votes just to put Tigerhands out of his misery. This would have been a landslide victory for the Tapogres ''and yet they still lost.''}}
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=== The Rabble ===
Not a single entity, but a group entrant composed of a giant ten foot tall badger led into combat by a mob of unruly drunks, tramps and various other dregs of society.
{{spoiler|Though The Rabble put up a heroic fight against Edward Tigerhands in the first round, the fight resulted in the loss of the badger and every member of the 'army' except Stockbridge and Barrington dying. The aforementioned pair survived the tournament by pairing up with other combatants, first Bastard Shark and then Bisoncopter before piloting the final attack run of the Bisondreadnought against From Hell.}}
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* [[Army of Thieves and Whores]]
* [[Enemy Mine]]: With {{spoiler|Bastard Shark.}}
* [[Kill It
* [[Lethal Joke Character]]: Stockbridge and Barrington, the two drunks.
* [[Unstoppable Rage]]: The badger is apparently in a state of constant rage, though he has been conditioned to 'only' maul his handlers.
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=== Edward Tigerhands ===
A monstrous bipedal Rhinocerous with its fists replaced with living, biting tiger heads. It was previously designated for riot control in British India, only to be retired from duty due to being too brutal.
{{spoiler|1=Despite being designed to handle large crowds, Edward Tigerhands lost to The Rabble in round one due to a last-minute improvisation by Stockbridge and Barrington. After that he participated in the losers league, eventually losing to a demon-posessed Father Leo McGarry.}}
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* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: Even the heavy handed police force of the British Empire were horrified by Tigerhands's brutality.
* [[Mighty Glacier]]: Became progressively huger and slower with every subsequent fight.
* [[Mix
* [[Unstoppable Rage]]
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{{spoiler|1=The Crocodevil loses its first fight against Bastard Shark, but the wings detach from its burning bones and fly away at the end of the fight. They eventually become attached to Father Leo McGarry, who proceeds to curb stomp his way through the loser's league before finally being utterly destroyed by From Hell.}}
* [[Achilles' Heel]]: The fresh scar tissue around the wings is vulnerable to attack.
* [[Curb Stomp Battle]]: Every match with {{spoiler|1=Father Leo McGarry, aside from his fight with The Mess, and ultimatly his death to From Hell at the end,}} qualified as one.
* [[Demonic Possession]]: Averted, the wings are sentient but cannot control the Crocodevil's actions directly. {{spoiler|1=Played straight with McGarry however, who eventually becomes the genuine antichrist.}}
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* [[And I Must Scream]]: He's been deprived of plankton and almost driven mad by pain and rage. Almost every thought from him is a desperate desire to have some plankton.
* [[Enemy Mine]]: With {{spoiler|Stockbridge and Barrington.}}
* [[Everything's Even Worse
* [[Good Old Fisticuffs]]: Was given a pair of muscly arms in a later incarnation.
* [[Kill It
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* [[The Berserker]]: In his second fight.
* [[Bottled Heroic Resolve]]
* [[Everything's Worse
* [[Heroic Second Wind]]
* [[Horny Vikings]]
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{{spoiler|Pandamanda and Hellpotamus wind up killing each other in a mutual KO. Their shattered bodies are later welded together into a single monstrous abomination named Pandamanderpotapanzee. This ungodly beast is later killed off for good by Bisoncopter during the second round.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Boom! Headshot!]]: The chimp manages to take Pandamander down this way.}}
* [[Guns Akimbo]]
* [[Everything's Worse
* [[Feel No Pain]]
* {{spoiler|[[Fusion Dance]]: With Hellpotamus after both combatants kill each other.}}
* [[Mix
* [[More Dakka]]: Those two machine guns can put out a lot of rounds.
* [[Slasher Smile]]: The panda head sports a wicked grin for all its fights.
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{{spoiler|As mentioned above, Pandamanda and Hellpotamus end up killing each other and are fused into one being for the second round, whereupon they both lose to Bisoncopter.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Boom! Headshot!]]: Similarly to above, the chimp is killed by a bullet to the brain.}}
* [[Everything's Better
* {{spoiler|[[Fusion Dance]]}}
* [[The Gunslinger]]: The chimp.
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* {{spoiler|[[Armchair Psychology]]: His loser's league upgrade gave him the ability to use this against enemies.}}
* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]]:
{{quote|
* [[Giant Flyer]]: The Mess is 30 feet long and can fly.
* [[The Unfavorite]]: As mentioned on the main page, Major Failure is not a big fan of The Mess. Mainly down to the fact he hates drawing jaguars.
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* [[Crippling Overspecialisation]]: He's a train. No matter how strong he is, he can only go where the tracks are. {{spoiler|Subverted with Bisoncopter and the other subsequent incarnations.}}
* [[Death Glare]]: He always sports one, no matter the situation.
* {{spoiler|[[Heroic Sacrifice]]: As Bisondreadnought, he rams himself into From Hell during the final match of Zoofights III, destroying the two of them in the process.}}
* [[Perpetual Frowner]]
* [[The Stoic]]: It doesn't matter how much trouble he's in or how strong his opponent is; Bisontrain never loses his badass frown.
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* [[Big Bad]]
* [[Eldritch Abomination]]: Powerful enough to utterly crush {{spoiler|1=Father Leo McGarry}}, Zoofight's III's other utterly inhuman monster.
* [[Hero
* [[One-Winged Angel]]: Reveals a second, even more monstrous form after {{spoiler|Steamcrab self-destructs and destroys his outer shell}}.
* [[True Final Boss]]
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A vicious hammerhead shark with a buzzsaw for a tail, walking the earth on a set of spindly metal legs. Dakuvanga is a reminder that we are very lucky sharks are not able to live on land.
* [[Everything's Even Worse
=== Riot Yeti / 'Nam Yeti / The Shaolin Monkey ===
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[[Last of His Kind|The last yeti]], hopped up on speed and wielding an electrically-charged spear and riot shield. What could possibly go wrong?
* [[Bigfoot, Sasquatch, and Yeti]]
* [[Drugs Are Bad]]: A very rare example of Zoofights playing this trope straight – Riot Yeti’s history of drug use gave him a bit of brain damage, and in his fight against Dakuvanga, his poor decision-making costs him the match.
{{quote|
* [[Everything's Better
* [[Shell Shocked Senior]] / [[Zen Survivor]]
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The second alien to enter Zoofights, Tunguska is the Russian entrant, as that is where it was found. This possibly-female monster, while gigantic, is still only a larva...
* [[Bee
* [[The Tunguska Event]]
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Equipped with flight and massively powerful jaws as well as a rotating array of backup weapons that includes broken bottles, guns, lightsabers, a force field and stinging tentacles, the Australian entrant Ned Killy holds the extra-special distinction of being the first ever competitor to outright win a tournament.
* {{spoiler|[[Dropped a Bridge
* [[Laser Blade]]: As Chompa.
* [[Lightning Bruiser]]
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* [[A God Am I]]
* [[Big Bad]]: One of the two [[Big Bad
* [[Eldritch Abomination]]: After returning from deep space, Inquisipede slowly evolves into
* [[Knight Templar]] (ironic, considering what the Inquisition did to the Templars)
* {{spoiler|[[Taking You
=== Glaciosaur / Ankylodyte / The Penguin ===
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* [[All-American Face]]: As Wrasslopod.
* {{spoiler|[[Crack Defeat]]}}
{{quote|
* [[Eagle Land]]
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* [[Mook]]: Dred Zeppelin has his own personal supply of Mooks in the form of chimps with brains in jars for heads.
* [[Rhino Rampage]]: And how – all the way to the finals, including two upset victories!
* [[Shout
=== Heart Of Darkness / Hyperfauna ===
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{{spoiler|The leader of Seanet is a truly massive squid hundreds of feet long. Second in command are numerous Control Squids about the size of a small giant squid. The lowest-ranked members are eight-foot-long cuttlefish.}}
* [[Big Bad]]: One of the two [[Big Bad
* [[Everything's Squishier
* [[Hive Mind]]
* [[Mother of a Thousand Young]]
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In Zoofights 4 these six-foot robotic insects served as handy servants to deal with any problems that required going out into the air-less void of space, like hull repair.
* [[Big Creepy
* [[Mecha
* [[Redshirt Army]]
* [[Running Gag]]: [[Look Around You|Bless you, Mecha-Ants. Blechants.]]
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After some controversy (both in and out of universe) about having human entrants in Zoofights after Zoofights 3’s Two Drunk Guys and Father Leo McGarry, Major Failure instituted a “no humans” rule. That didn’t stop the Zoofights 5 British team from entering Smash Gordon, [[Loophole Abuse|who is a Neanderthal caveman and thus is not quite human]].
* [[Brain In
* [[Cyborg]]
* [[Take a Third Option]]: Gordon was so stupid that people voted for his ''dog''. {{spoiler|Gordon lost, the dog escaped... until next time.}}
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* {{spoiler|[[Body Horror]]: As Chernoble.}}
* [[Cool Sword]]: He wields a twelve-foot long cavalry saber.
* [[Four
* [[General Ripper]]
* [[Make Me Wanna Shout]]: His main weapon is a jet engine embedded in his throat.
* [[Power Armor]]
* [[Russian Guy Suffers Most]]: The Sturgeon General’s final incarnation as Chernoble (and the following battle) is practically a [[Tear Jerker]].
* [[Taking You
* [[The Stoic]]
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The Indian entrant. Patel Industries's finest ship destroyer, Croctopus spent his life before Zoofights breaking down decomissioned boats into scrap metal. “A top quality crocodile with the arms of a top quality octopus”, Croctopus is completely insane (due to his past, he thinks his purpose in life is to build boats) and in possession of many, many power tools. Not a good combination.
* {{spoiler|[[Ascend to
* [[Big Damn Heroes|Big Damn Hero]]
* [[Bunny Ears Lawyer]]
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* {{spoiler|[[Not So Stoic]]}}
* {{spoiler|[[Reset Button]]: His battle with Gamma Constrictor resets the Zoofights universe, turning the after-the-end setting into the Eighties and erasing all knowledge of the evil sna-- I mean "stretch-lizard".}}
* [[You Kill It, You Bought It]]: Croctopus builds his "botes" out of his defeated foes.
=== Pride and Prejudice / E.M.M.A. / Purrslaysion ===
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* [[Awesome but Impractical]]: The Pride is Prejudice's bullets. Specifically ''their heads''.
* [[BFG]]: Prejudice is the size of a locomotive.
* [[Fun
* [[Named Weapons]]: Prejudice.
* [[Shout
=== Count Smackula / Punchules The Magnificent / Fists O'Batahan ===
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* [[Call Back]]: To Zoofights 1.
* [[Crack Defeat]]: Sting Kong has the absolute worst luck with random number generators. He was the overwhelming favorite in Round 1, but lost. In the Loser’s League he was even more heavily favored against Ro-Boto Cop, but wound up taking a third option and befriending him.
* [[Everything's Better
* [[Everything's Worse
* [[Mix and Match Critter]]: Gorilla body, wasp head, ''scorpion stinger arms''.
* [[Shout
* [[Take a Third Option]]: Friendship with Ro-Boto Cop.
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The first ever Zoofighter from North Korea! Great Leap Forward was originally created to assist the peasant folk with day-to-day challenges like farming, but he can fight when he has to.
* [[Attack of the
* [[Cyborg]]
* [[Weaponized Animal]]: Especially severe case here. Goes [[Up to Eleven]] with The Long March, at which point the poor thing is practically [[Organic Technology]].
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* [[Drinking Contest]]: With O'Batahan.
* [[Eagle Land]]
* [[Everything's Sparkly
* {{spoiler|[[Make My Monster Grow]]}}
* [[Memetic Mutation]]: Readers latched onto the shutter shades he wears and ran with it. He eventually started spouting memes in-universe as well. [[Kanye West|Now Prez, imma let you finish...]]
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A female praying mantis (female mantids are always bigger and stronger!) boasting nails on her claws, a gun that shoots black widow spiders attached to her rear, and stealth camouflage as well as the power of flight and high intelligence. The tradeoff? Her exoskeleton can handle only minor attacks, rendering her one of the frailest monsters in Zoofights.
* [[Big Creepy
* [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]]: She’s studied up on Zoofights history and past matches, and she knows what works and what doesn’t.
** This makes it incredibly ironic in Zoofights 6, when her creator used her as his RP character and proceeded to have her lose ''every match she bet on.''
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== Zoofights VI ==
=== As a whole
* [[Attack of the
* [[The Eighties]]
* [[Product Placement]] (mostly)
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* [[Darker and Edgier]]: Literally.
* {{spoiler|[[Emotion Eater]]: In the second round his laser is reconditioned to draw power from the terror his nightmare device induces.}}
* [[Everything's Worse
* [[Frickin' Laser Beams]]
* [[Heart Is an Awesome Power]]: Especially when combined with a tummy-mounted [[Wave Motion Gun]].
* [[Shout
** {{spoiler|His second appearance is a [[Shout
* [[Wolverine Claws]]
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* [[BFG]]: It shoots ''bricks''.
* [[Cool Hat]]: West wears a tophat, East wears a Communist military hat.
* [[The Great Politics Mess
* [[High
* [[Multiple Head Case]]: ''' {{spoiler|"YOU GODDAMN FOOL, BERLIN WALRUS[!] NEVER, EVER STOP TO HAVE A POLITICAL DEBATE WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO KILL OFF A PSYCHOTIC GRIZZLY BEAR"}}'''
* Half [[Red Scare]],
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** {{spoiler|For his first Zoofights victory beverage, he drinks the remains of the pulverized Crystal PEP-Simian.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Legacy Character]]: Classic Croak was considered too much of a business risk to bring back.}}
* [[Shout
** {{spoiler|Diet Croak is this to [[The Slender Man Mythos]].}}
* [[The Stoic]]
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* {{spoiler|[[Hyperspace Is a Scary Place]]: Apparently any time travelers will encounter Crocktopus fighting Sn--Stretchlizard Pilgrim in "hyperspace".}}
* [[Imagine Spot]]: He remembers being a normal, carefree tiger for just a moment, which is enough to make him ''really freaking angry'' about his present situation.
* {{spoiler|[[Time Travel]]: He can travel through time if he can get up to 88 mph, but it's not clear how effective this is.}}
* [[Transformation Sequence]] / [[Transformation Trauma]]: ''[http://zoofights.squarespace.com/storage/zoofights6/round1_fight2/6larger.jpg Ouch.]''{{Dead link}}
** Thankfully, as Fight Rider, he is no longer heavily injured by his transformation.
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* {{spoiler|[[The Quisling]]: The Gecko defects to World Creature Wars and leads an assault on the Zoofights Royal Rumble.}}
* [[Screw the Rules, I Have Money]]
* [[Shout
=== Murducken / {{spoiler|The Osmium Chef / Lawn Moa}} ===
A female terror-bird given Big Muscly Arms
* [[Anachronism Stew]]: Averted: Turduckens only became widely known in the early-ish 2000s but they've been around since 1985.
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* [[Feathered Fiend]]
* [[Improbable Weapon User]]: {{spoiler|The Osmium Chef has an osmium whisk for an arm. It can go through steel, yes, but it's still ''a whisk.''}}
* [[Morally
* [[Lethal Chef]]: "From the diseased mind of America's greatest TV chef" [[No Celebrities Were Harmed|Lemeril Magasse]].
* [[Mix and Match Critter]]: Terror bird with human arms.
* [[Shout
=== Playing Mantis / {{spoiler|Neuromantis / Final Mantisy}} ===
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* [[Instant Awesome, Just Add Ninja]]: Is swift and agile compared to her tank-like opponent.
* [[Japanese Ranguage]]
* [[Shout
** Also to ''[[
* [[Tron Lines]]: As Neuromantis.
* {{spoiler|[[Worthy Opponent]]: to Muhammut Kali.}}
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... America's offering, which is very slow and in constant danger of overheating.
* [[
* {{spoiler|[[Cheaters Never Prosper]]: Subverted, this is Zoofights. If a creature is smart enough to cheat it's smart enough to win.}}
** {{spoiler|Ladies and gents, your King of Beasts}}
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* {{spoiler|[[Handguns]] / [[Revolvers Are Just Better]] Than Holograms}}
* {{spoiler|[[People Puppets]]:}}
{{quote|
* [[Power Armor]]
* {{spoiler|[[Take Over the World]]}}, maybe:
{{quote|
* {{spoiler|[[Taking You
* {{spoiler|[[Ungrateful Bastard]]: Monster Truck offered Hardcore Prawn a paw when he was dangling over a pit of lava. He paid him back by throwing him into said pit.}}
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** Turns out it to have been a non-issue. {{spoiler|There was no friction whatsoever.}}
* [[Pint-Sized Powerhouse|Pint Sized Powerhouses]]
* [[Shout
** {{spoiler|"In the [[Shadow of the Colossus]], Hammerz hangs his head."}}
** {{spoiler|[[Double Dragon]]}}
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Four berserk, cannibalistic hippos that eat everything in their sight. {{spoiler|Now one berserk cannibalistic hippo/pangolin/human ''thing'' that eats everything in its sight.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Back
{{quote|
* [[Big Eater]] / [[Extreme Omnivore]]: Duh
* [[Body Horror]]: {{spoiler|[http://zoofights.squarespace.com/storage/zoofights6/ll-fight-2/hippangolin%20larger.jpg Hippangopotalin].}}
* [[Cannibal]]: There WOULD be six of them, but two didn't make it.
* {{spoiler|Crack Defeat: Angsteater was eaten by Biguana, who was promptly kicked to death (but not promptly enough to save Angsteater).}}
* [[Exactly What It Says
* {{spoiler|[[Make My Monster Grow]]}}
* {{spoiler|[[Mix and Match Critter]]: It "absorbed" Sawz and eight humans when it was reborn.}}
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* [[Ax Crazy]]
{{quote|
* [[Cool Shades]]
* {{spoiler|[[Curb Stomp Battle]] (see below): PEP-Simian was ''creamed'' during the voting period, half because Hare Metal had dark magical powers and half because everyone wanted to him fight Croaka-Cola in the Losers League.}}
** {{spoiler|In the fight with New Croak he was melted, ground up, and ''drunk by Croak''. Such is the fate of those hit with the random factor tractor.}}
* [[Everything's Better
* [[Foil]] (probably): To Croaka-Cola, who's a stoic in a space suit while PEP-Simian is an axe-crazy on a skateboard.
* {{spoiler|[[Joke Character]]: A Jar Of Frog Piss.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Kill It
=== Hare Metal / {{spoiler|Black Rabbath / Thumperstruck}} ===
"Hare Metal is an eldritch blend of British steel and forbidden rural energies that, frankly, we do not understand."
* [[Beat Still My Heart]]: BUT WHAT USE IS A HEART...COMPARED WITH THE POWER OF METAL?
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* [[Hair-Raising Hare]]
* {{spoiler|[[Infernal Retaliation]]: Prying open Hare Metal's ribcage to get at his burning organs is a very bad idea. Just ask Pepsimian.}}
* [[
* [[Hermetic Magic]] / [[Instant Runes]]: Hare Metal was created by music exec mages and his blueprints are written in runes.
* [[Hurricane of Puns]]: The fight commentary had a music reference (with a You Tube link!) every other sentence.
* [[Killer Rabbit]]: Aversion, it's pretty obvious he's dangerous given that he's a skeletal rabbit with fire for hair that's the size of a horse with glowing innards.
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* [[Psychic Powers]]
** [[Mind Over Matter]]
* [[Shout
* [[Sickly Green Glow]]
* [[Technicolor Fire]]: Has regular-colored flames on his head and green flames in his guts.
=== Gadadhara / {{spoiler|Kali Babar / Muhammut Kali / Vighneshvara, The Lord of Obstacles}} ===
An Indian elephant with ''two'' sets of Big Muscly Arms
* [[Ambition Is Evil]]: [http://www.booksie.com/historical_fiction/short_story/dudemanguy/kali-babar/chapter/1 From fighter to stock broker]{{Dead link}} by Dudemanguy.
* [[Ax Crazy]]: {{spoiler|"We thought opening up the pachyderm punisher's mind to the ebb and flow of etheric energy that suffuses and connects all of creation would make him a better citizen of the world, but it turns out it just made him better at killing things." While he has Kali's weapons, none of them is an axe.}}
* [[Eyepatch of Power]]: "Eye lost in barfight [....] Why do we let them drink?"
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=== Luchadillo / {{spoiler|Muertodillo / Armor Dio / Armor Dio and the Super Pangolin Brothers}} ===
Half armadillo, half [
* [[Cool Mask]]
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* {{spoiler|[[I See Dead People]]: could contact his ancestors as Muertodillo and is surrounded by a swarm of them as Armor Dio.}}
* [[Mix and Match Critter]]
* [[Psychic Powers]]
* [[Roaring Rampage of Revenge]]: H. H. Johnson and another agent (who is either a chupacabra or a mutant vulture) witness [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3409025&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=38 Luchadillo's vengeance] (bottom of page) on behalf of its owners.
* [[Take a Third Option]]: The many friendship votes for him and {{spoiler|the Two Badass Pangolins}}. Subverted (of course) when Dio's idea of "friendship" is to {{spoiler|summon Ballz to reunite his brothers in death}}.
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* [[Mix and Match Critter]]: Has had "crocodile gene injections"
* [[Nice Shoes|Nice Shoe]]: "The best shoe in the world: Has own propulsion unit; Pump Action; massively weighted" {{spoiler|Double Eelix's shoes aren't as cool: just a boot and a high heel that was lying around.}}
* [[Punctuated!
* [[Shock and Awe]]
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* [[Always Male]]: Aversion
* {{spoiler|Crack Defeat: to Final Mantasy, who double-KO'd Nightmare and Mental Ben by encasing them in water.}}
* [[Everything's Better
* [[For Science!]] / [[Mad Scientist]]: [http://zoofights.squarespace.com/storage/zoofights6/round-1-fight-8/Teslacorn%20blueprint%20larger.jpg This]{{Dead link}} is Teslacorn's blue print. That's it.
* [[Nepotism]]: Major Failure's wife designed Teslacorn, which led to charges of favoritism on the ZF forums.
* [[Shock and Awe]]
* [[Shout
** If she wasn't at first, she is now.
{{quote|
** Averted in real-life: If only Major Failure had the time to ask [[Brian Blessed]] who would win, a giant electric eel with a cool shoe or a giant electrified horse.
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Knock-off fighters (with their own version of the Major, Commador Disaster) recruited by that damn gecko in a surprise bid to take over Zoofights in the middle of the Losers' League Royal Rumble. Very quickly, they are as follows (descriptions by the Major):
* ARMS 'N
* OCTOPUS
* CARP. A.
* THE LESSER OF TWO
* MIKE
* DOLPHIN
*
* JOHN
* COMMODORE DISASTER with
* A TOTALLY RADICAL CAT WITH ONE
* {{spoiler|[[Curb Stomp Battle]]}}: {{spoiler|The Losers' League competitors destroy them when they attempt to attack.}}
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=== Major Failure ===
The big boss, the one behind it all. Sometimes referred to as "The Major" or "The Good Major". His roleplay persona of choice is [[Character
* [[Blatant Lies]]: Every tournament Major Failure assures the audience that nothing will go wrong this year. And every year he's wrong. He was especially insistant about it in Zoofights IV, a year when ''three'' competitors became [[Eldritch
=== Gravitas Shortfall ===
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These two are the main driving force behind the Loser's League from Zoofights 3 onward. Neither roleplays often, but both are involved in everyday contest proceedings and could be seen as the next step down from Gravitas Shortfall.
* [[Everything's Better
* [[Those Two Guys]]
* {{spoiler|[[Unexplained Recovery]]: Akumu was killed off alongside Gezora during the Zoofights 5 Loser's League Royal Rumble, but he returned alongside Gezora after the semifinals.}}
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* [[Deus Angst Machina]]: Her past, in a nutshell.
* {{spoiler|[[Face Heel Turn]]: She ends up fusing with From Hell.}}
* [[Heartwarming Orphan]] / [[
* [[Humanoid Abomination]]
* [[Ill Girl]]
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** {{spoiler|Remember during the ending when From Hell stands up one last time before Bisondreadnaught crashes into it? [[Word of God]] says it's because ''[[Oh Crap|Lilly had taken over.]]''}}
* [[Madness Mantra]]: '''DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES'''
* {{spoiler|[[Nightmare Face]]: At one part in the finale, her face distorts into a beaked shape. [[
* [[Nightmare Fuel Coloring Book]]
* [[Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant]]
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* [[Alien Lunch]] / [[I Ate What?]] / [[I Drank What]]: Gezora is usually up front with what is in the food and drinks which includes glowing chemicals and other bar patrons.
* [[Ambiguous Gender]] / [[No Biological Sex]]: Gezora refers to itself as "it".
* [[Attack of the
* {{spoiler|[[Back
* [[Cool Shades]]: Gezora has been sporting shutter-shades since supporting The Snapture ([[
* [[Cordon Bleugh Chef]] / [[I Am a Humanitarian]]: Gezora has ''adventurous'' tastes.
* [[Gargle Blaster]]: Gezora's signature drink is the Pineal Colada, among many others. Gezora got its start when Gezora/someone started posting provocatively-named real drink mixes.
* [[Is It Something You Eat?]]: Gezora is certain its done that at some point.
* [[No Indoor Voice]]: GEZORA DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHISPERING.
* [[Third Person Person]]: Gezora speaks in the third person.
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* [[Conspiracy Theorist]]
* [[Cool Shades]]
* [[Not Even Bothering
* [[The Men in Black]]: In Zoofights 6:
{{quote|
* [[Shout
* [[Voluntary Shapeshifting]]
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A Nazi with an accordion for a head, or maybe a Nazi accordion. {{spoiler|One of the few audience members to directly influence a tournament match, Doktor Hans' timely use of his Gorillion Dollars (a bonus vote worth 15 normal votes) was essential for The Seal of Disapproval to defeat The Snapture.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Spanner in
* [[The Gambling Addict]]
* [[Those Wacky Nazis]]
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* [[Evil Knockoff]]: Metal Lesko.
* [[Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain]]: Robotnik, who is fully in-character as he throws a fit every time he loses a Chao Emerald in a bet. His journal entries leading up to the fight with Lesko paint an incredibly heroic and sympathetic picture.
* [[Mecha
* [[Super-Powered Evil Side]]: Lesko turns nasty when he gets all the emeralds.
* {{spoiler|[[Villainous Rescue]]: Robotnik defeats Lesko, blowing up his own Death Egg in the process and saving the world from a salesman with the powers of a god.}}
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