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{{work}}
{{Characters need descriptions}}
Characters from ''[[{{ROOTPAGENAME}}]]'' include:
== Warriors of Light ==
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'''Garland:''' ''"I see..."''
'''Fighter''': ''"But we're heroes so it's okay when '''we''' do that."'' }}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Amusing Injuries]]: What keeps them amusing despite their frequent intentional and unintentional sociopathy.
* {{spoiler|[[And the Adventure Continues...]]: For Black Mage and Fighter at least}}.
* [[Badass Crew]]: Fighter and Thief get to do badass things on a regular basis, but Black Mage and Red Mage have defeated multiple demigods.
* [[Butt Monkey
* [[Destructive Saviour
* [[Five-Man Band]]: there are a couple of... er... strange ways to assign roles to this group. Mostly it works like this:
** What you'd ''think'' would be the format:
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*** [[The Dark Chick]]: Red Mage
** Yes, this is maybe the only series where you have to use a mixture of [[Five-Man Band|two]] [[Five-Bad Band|different]] tropes to describe the team layout.
* [[Heroic Comedic Sociopath
* [[His Name Really Is "Barkeep"]]
* [[Light Is Not Good]]
* [[Meaningful Name|Meaningful Surname]]: [[Awesome McCoolname|McWarrior]], [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast|Evilwizardington]], [[Munchkin|Statscowski]]. The only exception is Thief, [http://www.nuklearforums.com/showpost.php?p=344027&postcount=31 whose last name is the name of his clan], i.e. Khee'bler.
** Though Thief's fake surname (since Thief isn't his real first name) [http://www.nuklearforums.com/showthread.php?p=29156&highlight=Bastard#post29156 might be Bastard].
* [[Nominal Hero
* [[Prestige Class]]
* [[Ragtag Bunch of Misfits]]
* [[Seen It All]]: By the end of the comic, except for Fighter.
* [[Static Character
** The time anything resembling character development stuck was early in the comic when Red Mage learned [[Munchkin|that it was better to use one of his heal spells and live than be more versatile and dead]]. [[It Got Worse|Then he started his trademark illogical plans.]]
** Black Mage has a number of epiphanies about the nature of evil and the nature of morality... unfortunately [[Ignored Epiphany|he ignores them]] either because his [[Sanity Meter]] is turned to "psycho" or [[For the Evulz|evil is too much fun]]. The two could be interrelated.
* [[Teeth-Clenched Teamwork]]: And that's on the very rare occasions when they do work together at all. Most of the time they are closer to [[Divided We Fall]].
* [[Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist
* [[Villain Protagonist
=== Black Mage Evilwizardington ===
{{quote|''"If there '''was''' a way to get magic for free, do you really think I'd have spent so much time sacrificing children to my dark gods? For spells, I mean. Obviously there'd still be sacrifices. A hobby's a hobby."''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Ambidextrous Sprite]]: The crescent moon on his Blue Mage outfit.
* [[Attractive Bent Gender]]: Well, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/01/18/episode-238-a-light-warrior-by-any-other-name/ the Archer Captain thinks so]. [[Squick]].
* [[Ax Crazy]]: As if the name and quote didn't give it away, his default for anything is to kill with extreme prejudice.
* [[Black Magic]]: Specifically [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/07/11/episode-718-necronomisutra/ necromancy] and several offensive spells, such as [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/04/27/episode-021-assaulting-the-elderly-at-last/ Bolt-2] [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/04/25/episode-020-the-quest-to-assault-the-elderly-continues/ a.k.a. Electric Death], [[Eye Beams]] and of course his [[Kamehame Hadoken|Hadoken]], which he got by sacrificing nine orphaned kids to his dark god and which siphons love out of the universe every time it's used.
* [[Blessed with Suck]]: He becomes this kind of character after his class change. At first, he thought that Blue Magic grants its user the immunity to enemy attacks, as well as the ability [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/01/10/episode-646-a-short-history-of-magic/ to learn and use said attacks] - so naturally, he was overjoyed after gaining Blue Magic. As he learned quickly ([http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/02/07/episode-658-feeling-blue/ and painfully]), it didn't grant him immunity to anything, and while he was able to learn attacks used against him, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/02/16/episode-662-hell-is-other-monsters/ he had to survive them first]. Plus, in the course of the series, he's learned only three spells through Blue Magic - one of which is the Goblin Punch, which has a mostly impractical range. The others include a spell specifically targeted at him, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/04/29/episode-689-backfire/ as he learns the hard way], while the third one [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/05/23/episode-1131-turnabout-isnt-fair-play/ rewrites reality according to Sarda's whim], which in practice also makes it targeted at him.
* [[Blood Is the New Black]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/09/28/episode-749-murder-by-numbers/ Happened to him] [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/04/12/episode-832-character-is-what-you-are-in-the-dark/ a few times].
* [[Brilliant but Lazy]]: It's fairly easy to read him as this; over the course of the comics he's used the widest varieties of spells, displayed in-depth knowledge about magical theory(including magics he doesn't personally practice, such as ice and summoning) and history, and as mentioned elsewhere, so long as he's not particularly angry or close to White Mage, he's generally the smartest of the group. He just happens to be insanely lazy, commenting more than once that a battle would go their way if they all actually fought instead of just standing by to let Red Mage get mauled, and not acting on it because it's too much effort. Partly justified by him being a [[Death Seeker]]; he knows that when he dies he becomes one of the single most powerful creatures in existence.
* [[Broke Your Arm Punching Out Cthulhu]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/01/27/episode-508-insurrection/ once] fought off a deep one, a dinosaur, and a [[Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever|giant marmoset]] with nothing but his knife. He was certainly [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/01/29/episode-509-just-after-the-epic-battle/ feeling it
* [[Butt Monkey]]: To the point where the universe itself is geared to hurt him.
* [[Card-Carrying Villain]]: He makes no attempt to present himself as anything other than evil, makes absolutely no excuse for [[Person of Mass Destruction|mass-murder and destruction]], and he's [[Insult Backfire|damn well proud of it.]] Red Mage and Thief tend to be [[Somebody Else's Problem|just blind to morality and ethical standards]], but Black Mage can very easily see the moral dilemma of a problem, and he may even argue about the validity of it. ... Of course, he only identifies it so he can go in the completely opposite direction.
* [[Casanova Wannabe]]: Every time he talks to White Mage, he is either this or [[Dirty Old Man]] (minus the 'old' part, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/01/26/episode-653-growing-pains/ as he only went through puberty a year or so before the events of the comic]).
* [[Character Alignment]]: Confirmed to be [[Lawful Evil|of]] [[Neutral Evil|the]] [[Chaotic Evil|evil]] alignment in [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/12/15/episode-1204-chew-on-that/ this strip].
** On his better days he's [[Chaotic Neutral]]. Usually, he's [[Neutral Evil]].
* [[Charm Person]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/05/06/episode-281-helpin-a-buddy-out/ Hypno][http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/12/16/episode-783-protective-eyewear/ vision].
* [[The Chew Toy]]: And, frankly, he deserves it.
* [[Chronic Backstabbing Disorder]]: Not only does he betray the rest of the team when given a chance, but he also frequently stabs them in the back (or head) ''[[Knife Nut|literally]]'' - especially Fighter.
** While Black Mage is a literal
* [[Cosmic Plaything]]: The universe just loves gnawing on him. To be fair though, the universe probably should have thought about the consequences of allowing a nexus of excessively destructive reality-warping power to exist in the soul of an individual with as much sanity and stability as a nuclear bomb. The universe is probably trying to rectify the situation by attempting to stamp him out of existence ''without'' killing him (as killing him would hence get rid of the [[Restraining Bolt]] that is his mortal body... you know, 'cause [[The End of the World as We Know It|that did not]] [[Apocalypse How|work out so well]] [[Oh Crap|last time]]).
* [[Deadpan Snarker]]: Occurs mostly when he is around Red Mage and Fighter for any period of time. And when he's not holding the [[Idiot Ball]].
* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: Even Black Mage thought that Thief's idea to impose fees for ''clouds'' [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/01/29/episode-948-like-new-coke/ was really sick].
** Also planned to create a whole new level of hell specifically as punishment for the things Red Mage did to
* [[Evil Is Petty]]: In addition to being an [[Omnicidal Maniac]], he is also the biggest [[Jerkass]] in the comic (with the possible exception of Sarda).
* [[Eye Beams]]
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* [[Fake Ultimate Hero]]: All of the Light Warriors qualify, but [[Ax Crazy|Black Mage]] really takes the cake, stabs the cake, urinates on whatever's left, poisons it, gives it to an orphanage, and then [[Kamehame Hadoken|Hadokens]] said orphanage for good measure. A full list of his atrocities would probably double the size of this page.
* [[For the Evulz]]: The reason for nearly everything he does in the series.
* [[Freudian Excuse]]: subverted. Technically he has one, in that the excessive amount of power that exists in his soul has driven him insane (confirmed in-universe)... but he
* [[Genre Savvy]]: Very much so. Unfortunately for him, he's not [[Genre Savvy]] enough when it comes to Sarda.
* [[Glass Cannon]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/04/10/episode-977-moving-as-hell/ He describes himself as one].
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* [[Hidden Depths]]: He has moments like [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/05/03/episode-280-hot-backdoor-action/ these] when the audience realizes he has a vast swamp of rather uncomfortable emotional turmoil. And he has moments like [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/12/02/episode-486-fell-down/ these] which could count as a [[Crowning Moment of Heartwarming]]. However, they often come on the heels of moments like [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/11/27/8-bit-chronicles-3-of-3/ these] which clearly favor him for the post of anthropomorphic personification of all Evil. He's still a [[Jerk with a Heart of Jerk]]...Maybe.
* [[Humanoid Abomination]]
* [[I Love the Dead]]: Once expressed willingness to have sex with White Mage's dead body, considering it only slightly less ideal than having sex with her while alive. He did have sex with the corpse of
* [[Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy]]: He has a ''lot'' of trouble hitting the right target with his Hadokens. "[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/06/17/episode-430-very-long-range/ HOW DO YOU MISS A VOLCANO?!]". (Though he doesn't mind too much as long as ''something'' dies.)
** "[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/01/17/episode-109-a-little-kindness-goes-a-long-way/ How did you not only miss us, but manage to zap yourself?]".
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* [[Knife Nut]]
* [[Laughably Evil]]
* [[Like a Badass Out of Hell]]: He managed to briefly take over Hell after {{spoiler|being killed by Lich, then came back to the land of the living to kill Lich. This eventually backfired on him, as Lich, in turn, took over Hell in his absence and then brought Black Mage back to life... thus demoting him from the position of the all-powerful Hell King back to that of the universe's
** That said, {{spoiler|1=after Lich manages to bar Black Mage from Hell by getting him stuck on the corporeal plane, a lot of very powerful [[Eldritch Abomination]]s make sure to keep him ''out'' of hell (such that whenever he dies, a [[God of Evil]] sends him right back to the overworld)}}. If Black Mage ever gets back there, which he is still conspiring to do, the universe wouldn't be around for much longer (or it would, but it wouldn't be a nice place to exist). Let's just say this: there is a reason why ''all the legions of Hell'' were terrified of him.
* [[Love Makes You Dumb|Love And Anger Make You Dumb]]: on a good day, he's smarter than Thief. Introduce anger or
* [[Made of Evil]]: He is the closest thing to the [[Anthropomorphic Personification]] of Evil. If he ever gets back down to Hell again, he will fit the bill of [[God of Evil]].
* [[Magic Knight]]: When the plot doesn't require him to be [[Squishy Wizard]], he can be quite competent in physical combat - to the point where it's hard to tell whether he killed more people with his [[Kamehame Hadoken|Hadoken]] or with his [[Knife Nut|knives]]. He even managed to kill [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/01/22/episode-506-underappreciated/ a sea monster] and [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/04/01/episode-535-something-for-everyone/ at least one], [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/09/28/episode-749-murder-by-numbers/ possibly two groups of cultists] with nothing but knives.
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** [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/04/06/episode-404-comic-not-found/ "I call it my 'final solution'. Basically, I'm given a license to kill and it solves all my problems.]
* [[The Necromancer]]
* [[Never Bareheaded]]: He actually does remove his hat once, but it's not shown on screen and the only person who sees it is driven mad
* [[Nice Hat]]: According to the epilogue it's ''huge'' too.
* [[Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant]]: despite how much of a [[Genre Savvy]] [[Deadpan Snarker]] he is, he doesn't
* [[An Adventurer Is You|The Nuker]]
* [[The Odd Couple]]: And no, not in [[Shipping|that]] way (okay, [[Ho Yay|mostly not that way...]]) with Fighter. No matter how many times he attempts to or successfully kills Fighter, they're still together, even three years ''after'' Chaos is defeated ... probably so he can still make Fighter suffer, but it [[The Chew Toy|never works out that way.]]
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* [[The Pig Pen]]: Acknowledged by everyone but the man himself. [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/05/29/episode-288-on-the-way-out/ He insists that the smell is from his spell components].
* [[Ping-Pong Naivete]]: He can be the smartest of the Light Warriors, barely smarter than Fighter ([http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/11/11/episode-481-black-belt-walks-into-a-bar/ if not dumber than Fighter]) or somewhere in between, depending on what makes for a better joke at the moment. In particular, his intelligence seems to rapidly decrease the closer White Mage is to him.
* [[The Plan]]: A [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]] one he set up at the Citadel of Ordeals, {{spoiler|where he knew he would have to "face his flaws"; as per the typical physical manifestation of fantasy metaphors, he would therefore have to kill off his evil side. Considering that there was no way in hell he was going to get rid of all of his evil, he managed to rig the situation so that after killing his evil side, he would re-inherent all the evil}}. It's a real pity that he has never attributed so much forethought to plans that could in
* [[Played for Laughs]]: His numerous atrocities. Only the fact that they aren't played seriously saves him from being a [[Complete Monster]].
* [[Power At a Price]]: His ''own'' power seems to come at the price of his sanity and morality. However, he isn't opposed to using ''other'' people's lives or sanity to get access to more power. [[Human Sacrifice|Remember how]] [[Powered by a Forsaken Child|he got the]] [[Kamehame Hadoken|Hadoken]]?
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* [[Sarcasm Failure]]: A lot of Black Mage's sarcasm is all but lost (much to [[Angrish|to his frustration]]) 100% of the time on Fighter (who either cannot understand it or is [[Obfuscating Stupidity]] to infuriate Black Mage), and 75% of the time on Red Mage (who has a habit of [[Completely Missing the Point]]).
* [[Self-Made Orphan]]
* [[Small Name, Big Ego]]
* [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]]: Does this all the time, particularly when talking to city guards trying to find him.
* [[Starfish Language]]: A purported spell for reading a book for hours at a time.
* [[The Starscream]]
** Probably one of the only instances where one of the ''heroes'' is trying to replace the [[Big Bad]]. Okay, so maybe "[[Villain Protagonist|hero]]" [[What the Hell, Hero?|is a bad description...]]
* [[Terrible Artist]]: It seems that [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/09/21/episode-746-out-of-the-aeons-and-into-the-frying-pan/ he can't draw very well].
* [[Trademark Favorite Food]]: Pie.
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* [[Vitriolic Best Buds]] Type 1: With Fighter.
* [[Walking Wasteland]]: The evil "mindless destruction is fun" kind. Sometimes it'll be limited to just stabbing someone repeatedly until they die. Sometimes he's a [[Walking Disaster Area]] and bad things just continuously happen in his vicinity ([[Cosmic Plaything|usually to him]]). Sometimes, he'll just Hadoken something that annoys him a lot. In any case, his violence is usually indiscriminate and completely arbitrary (much like some kind of [[Chaotic Neutral|natural disaster]]... a [[Chaotic Evil|sadistic natural disaster]]). However, if [[Evil Genius|Thief]] decides he wants to target something, he'll use Black Mage to horrifyingly direct ends. [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/11/18/episode-354-its-funny-to-hurt-the-innocent/ Remember the Dwarf nation?] Nuff said.
* [[What Could Possibly Go Wrong?]]: Frequently asks this with a lot of sarcasm that [[Sarcasm Failure|neither Red Mage nor Fighter seem to hear.]] This often is coupled with Fighter's use of the phrase, which he uses in (seemingly) complete innocence, and together makes for some very [[Meta Fiction|meta]] leaning on the fourth wall.
* [[What Is Evil?]]: Discussed via internal monologue [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/05/31/episode-289-a-change-of-heart/ here]. Unfortunately, anger at the stupidity of Fighter tends to have an amnesiac/obliterating/stupefying effect.
* [[Witch Species]]: He's an [[Fantasy Character Classes|Inherent Gift Magician]] whose face is a bastardization of non-euclidian geometry so [[Mind Rape|mind destroying]] that even seeing it drives you insane. This trope ''might'' fit, but then again...
* [[With Great Power Comes Great Insanity]]: He's a nexus for the ley lines in reality and has the ''lowest'' sanity tolerance ever. Being born like this, his incredible power has warped his sanity considerably over the years, making morality seem increasingly irrelevant to him. Having an insane [[Ax Crazy]] maniac running around with the forces of creation at his
* [[The Worf Effect]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/09/18/episode-895-the-punching-bag/ Lampshaded by Red Mage.]
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{{quote|''"I like... what was it again?"''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Achievements in Ignorance]]: Glorious Chainsaw Method actually depended on Fighter being too dumb to realize it's impossible. [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/06/24/episode-1008-charmed-im-sure/ And it worked.]
** Surviving a fall from over a mile in the air. By blocking the ground.
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** Considering how many times BM stabbed him in the head, I'd say this might've been intentional.
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]: He lives in different realities most of the time. The brief times he collides with the one everyone else lives in usually combines some [[Department of Redundancy Department|combination]] of [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]], [[Too Dumb to Fool]], and [[Too Dumb to Live]]. Also [[Too Dumb to Live|Too Dumb To Die]], apparently. In any case among his usual frolicking in Happy Cloud Land Where [[Vitriolic Best Buds|Black Mage is my friend]], he occasionally dips down to reality with piercing insights, usually resulting in...
* [[The
{{quote|'''Fighter''': Don't ''lie'' to the poor lady, RM. You know exactly who we are and we don't look innocent at all. All I'd trust those two jokers with is a [[Chronic Backstabbing Disorder|stab in the back]] and [[Omnicidal Maniac|then the throat]]. And you wear '''''[[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|a mask.]]''''' I look okay and seem honest, but as far as she knows, it's an elaborate act. A ruse that works ''so well'' my own friends could never suspect - never ''consider'' - the evil I inflict upon innocents wheresoever we go.<br />
'''Red Mage''': He's just kidding of... of course... }}
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* [[Dumb Is Good]]: His [[Genius Ditz]] moments notwithstanding, he is the dumbest of the Light Warriors. He's also [[Token Good Teammate|the only member of the group who is undeniably and consistently good]].
* [[Dumb Muscle]]: Most of the time.
* [[Genius Ditz]]: When it comes to swords, he's an innately talented genius. When it comes to non-sword
** He can also [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/08/05/episode-449-speak-friend-and-enter/ read] [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/08/07/episode-450-knot-my-problem/ Overcomplicatian language] and occasionally shows at least some knowledge of [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/12/04/episode-359-flawless-victories/ mathematics] (correcting Red Mage's mistake from [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/12/02/episode-358-qualifications/ the previous strip]) and [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/12/13/episode-634-you-were-right/ physics].
* [[Hard Head]] and [[Use Your Head]]: "[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/07/17/episode-174-a-new-vargus-technique/ The main tactic of the Ram Form of Zodiackenshido is to break your opponent's equipment with your head before he breaks your head with his equipment]"
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'''Black Mage:''' ''"That's so stupid I can't even see straight any more."''
'''Red Mage''': ''"Now imagine what'll happen when physics tries to figure it out!"'' }}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* {{spoiler|[[A God Am I]]: Learned almost "every move in the game" from the Datasphere and planned to dethrone the gods.}}
* [[Ambidextrous Sprite]]: The feather on his hat(s).
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* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]
* [[Crazy Enough to Work]]: Sometimes his plans are so ''completely'' insane they actually work. Most of them, however, are just crazy enough to fail hilariously.
* [[
* [[Does Not Understand Sarcasm]]: "[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/01/11/episode-794-the-nuance-of-language/ We're going to have a code. When I stab you in the ear, that means I'm being sarcastic.] ''Got it''?"
* [[Evilutionary Biologist]]: When it comes to Chocobo breeding.
{{quote|All it required was a cocktail of dangerous experimental surgery, and a willingness to ignore the
Also, I shot magic into their
* {{spoiler|[[Fake Memories]]: "[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/07/31/episode-447-henry-rollins-wrote-a-song-about-thief/ Plus, Red Mage? You can NOT tell him this, but he's not actually a cross
* [[Hero with an F In Good]]
* [[Insane Troll Logic]]
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* [[Nice Hat]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/06/01/episode-037-survivor-8-bit-style-part-2/ Apparently his hat is so nice it boosts his stats.]
* [[The Red Mage]]: And a [[Master of None]].
* [[Small Name, Big Ego]]: Seems to genuinely believe that he's a 'fractactical genius', and loves to brag about it.
* [[The Smart Guy]]: Well, sort of...
* [[Strange Minds Think Alike]]: Has several with Garland and a few others.
* [[The Strategist]]: Although most of his plans are somewhat hindered by such minor things as: The Laws Of Physics, Common Sense, Black Mage, Basic Logic, [[Insane Troll Logic|their own brain-breaking insanity]], [[Surrounded by Idiots|the incompetence of his cohorts]], his ''own'' incompetence, Black Mage, a lack of proper equipment, a lack of regard for any kind of rationality, [[Too Dumb to Live|Fighter's stupidity]], his ''own'' [[What an Idiot!|stupidity]], being needlessly overcomplicated to the point of madness, [[Running Gag|Black Mage]], his
** ...he ''still'' pulls off a good one every now and then. See [[Crazy Enough to Work]].
* [[Why Couldn't You Be Different?]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/09/18/episode-331-smoke-signals/ He claims that his father hated him because he wanted to have a daughter rather than son]. This resulted in Red Mage's cross-dressing tendencies. {{spoiler|(But see [[Fake Memories]] above.)}}
* [[Wrong Genre Savvy]]: Thinks he's in a paper-and-dice game. [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/02/07/episode-381-dead-hate-living/ And] [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/04/24/episode-412-where-do-you-see-yourself-in-ten-levels/ sometimes] [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/01/04/episode-498-pre-quest-quests/ a] [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/02/03/episode-511-hey-brother-can-you-spare-a-quarter/ MMO.]
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{{quote|'''Black Mage''' (seeing Thief with an enormous bag of loot): ''"Didn't the pirates take everything already?"''
'''Thief:''' ''"They left everything that was nailed down. I did not."'' }}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Bad Boss]] / [[Mean Boss]]: Let his law-ninja die of starvation because [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/05/15/episode-846-ninja-chow/ he was too much of a miser to buy food for them]. He's also this for the rest of the Light Warriors, as he constantly steals from them, tricks them into signing manipulative contracts, makes them do countless humiliating and/or life-threatening things for him, and physically abuses them.
* [[Badass Normal]]: Does the physically impossible without any magic or the power of stupidity and manages to do so much with [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/10/08/episode-201-does-he-work-for-best-buyin-memory-of-jesse-james-schosek-and-nathan-larkins-we-will-miss-you/ fine] [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/08/02/episode-314-outclassed/ print] or [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/03/13/episode-394-give-a-hoot/ just] [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/07/31/episode-447-henry-rollins-wrote-a-song-about-thief/ with] [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/01/06/episode-1079-verbal-flanking/ words].
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* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: Both he and Red Mage were disgusted by [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/07/24/episode-874-silence-implies-consent/ Black Mage's plan] to make White Mage drink what was most likely a paint thinner and then rape her (alive or dead).
* [[Evil Genius]]: Truly deserving of his status as [[Magnificent Bastard]], he can manipulate and swindle anyone into doing anything. For one thing, he [[Kid with the Leash|manages to keep Black Mage on a leash]] (because if he doesn't, Black Mage becomes an uncontrollable [[Eldritch Abomination]] that even terrifies ''the demons from Hell''), and he screwed with Red Mage's head to turn him into a cross-dresser. [[For the Evulz]] of course.
* [[Hoist by His Own Petard|Hoist By His Own "Picard"]]: Matoya and Raven use his legal trickery to their
* [[Impossible Thief]]: Among other things, he can steal secrets, souls, resolve, childhood memories, and most famously, his ninja class abilities from the future. One of the only things he apparently can't steal are things that are ''both'' nailed down and on fire.
* [[Jerkass]]
Line 276 ⟶ 284:
'''Bikke''': ''"Yar. Ye slam o' poetry be as significant as a pee in the ocean."''
'''Drizz'l''': ''"It's what we're all thinking."'' }}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Dark Is Not Evil]]
* {{spoiler|[[Fake Ultimate Hero]]: In the penultimate strip White Mage makes everyone believe that the Dark Warriors were the ones who defeated Chaos and saved the world.}}
* [[Forgot I Couldn't Swim]]: Naturally, their first [[Evil Plan]] as a full team involved the ocean.
* [[Goldfish Poop Gang]]
* [[Harmless Villain
* [[Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain
* [[Legion of Doom]]
* [[Minion with an F In Evil|Minions With An F In Evil]]
* [[Quirky Miniboss Squad]]
* {{spoiler|[[Throw the Dog a Bone]]: Propped up as the true heroes and saviors of the world in the epilogue}}.
* [[Unknown Rival
=== Garland ===
Line 293 ⟶ 303:
'''Princess Sara''': ''"What're you gonna have him do? [[Poke the Poodle|Poke me in the ribs?]]"'' <br />
'''Garland:''' ''"[[Harmless Villain|Oh heavens no. I'm nefarious, not cruel.]]"'' }}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Affably Evil]]
* [[Card-Carrying Villain]]: Even though he's probably the least evil character of them all.
Line 319 ⟶ 331:
{{quote|''"I have got to find new, non-sucky, friends."''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[The Beast Master]]: Tends to rely on monsters (the giant spiders, camel spider, platypus, random encounters in the Temple, and the Fiends). Likely a Ranger/Fighter, being a Drizzt ripoff.
* [[Canon Foreigner]]
Line 326 ⟶ 339:
* [[Dual-Wielding]]
* [[Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas|Even Bad Men Love Their Papas]]
* [[Giant Spider
* {{spoiler|[[Heel Face Revolving Door]]: Joins the Light Warriors, wants to return to the Dark Warriors but teams up with Thief to [[Chronic Backstabbing Disorder|backstab everyone]], but is then forced to rejoin the Dark Warriors.}}
* [[Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain]]
Line 343 ⟶ 356:
{{quote|''"Be this 600 or pineapple?"''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Ambidextrous Sprite]]: Though it's entirely probable that he has two perfectly healthy eyes and intentionally moves his eyepatch when he turns.
* [[Bad Boss]]: Killed his crew by feeding them Cheetos when they were suffering scurvy rather than oranges. Not out of stupidity, but so he wouldn't have to share the booty.
Line 357 ⟶ 371:
{{quote|''"My dark soul '''burns''' with fiery agreement. Or possibly tacos."''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Basement Dweller]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/12/30/episode-366-evil-has-a-name/ Moved out of his parents' house - and into their basement]. But after joining the Dark Warriors [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/03/24/episode-1108-deathless-of-a-salesman/ he moved into a completely different basement].
* [[The Chick]]: The dramatic flair of the group.
Line 373 ⟶ 388:
{{quote|'''Red Mage''': ''"But the Other Warriors were on the same quest."''
'''Thief''': ''"It's because they aren't smart! You were able to fool them. '''You'''."'' }}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Canon Foreigner]]s: There's nothing resembling them or their roles in ''[[Final Fantasy I]]''.
* {{spoiler|[[Dropped a Bridge on Him|Dropped A Bridge On Them]]}}
* [[Hero of Another Story|Heroes Of Another Story]]
* [[His Name Really Is "Barkeep"]]
* [[Idiot Hero
* {{spoiler|[[Killed Off for Real]]}}
* [[Nice Guy
=== Ranger ===
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[The Archer]]
* [[Department of Redundancy Department]]: His full name is Generic Dual-Class Half-Elven Ranger. His other class is also Ranger.
Line 392 ⟶ 411:
{{quote|''"Just because I fly into a blind, homocidal rage at the tip of a helm doesn't mean I'm incapable of appreciating the finer things in life."''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[The Berserker]]
* [[Berserk Button]]: Taking off his monocle, but since it works when he takes it off himself, his berserk button can be whatever he wants it to be.
Line 404 ⟶ 424:
{{quote|''"Well look at that, another '''beautiful''' miracle. If it weren't for my atheism, I'd be impressed by it."''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Agent Scully]]: {{spoiler|This leads to his undoing.}}
* [[The Chick]]: More sensible than Ranger and Berserker, and kinder than Rogue.
Line 416 ⟶ 437:
{{quote|''"I know a guy."''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Friend in the Black Market]]: {{spoiler|It's Thief.}}
* [[Honest John's Dealership]]
Line 427 ⟶ 449:
== The Fiends ==
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* {{spoiler|[[Back from the Dead]]}}
* [[Big Bad Duumvirate|Big Bad Quadrumvirate]]
* [[Elemental Embodiment
* [[For the Evulz]]
* [[Knight of Cerebus|Knights Of Cerebus]]: Lich and Kary play this straight, and Ur and Muffin subvert it.
Line 437 ⟶ 460:
{{quote|''"Death is the natural state of all being. Life is the aberration. It is fleeting, and full of pain. Come, embrace the eternity in nothing!"''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Badass Boast]]: Loves to do this even more than the other villains.
* [[Charm Person]]: Uses "creepy undead mind control" to prevent his wives from cheating on him. Try not to focus too much on the creepy...
Line 453 ⟶ 477:
{{quote|''"Look, I haven't killed anything in about three minutes, so my patience is '''nil''' at this point."''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Ax Crazy]]
* [[Hero-Killer]]: {{spoiler|Kills Black Belt.}}
Line 468 ⟶ 493:
{{quote|''"Anyway, you guys ordered an apocalypse if I'm right."''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Affably Evil]]: Handles ending worlds in a friendly, business-like manner.
* [[Eldritch Abomination]]
Line 478 ⟶ 504:
{{quote|'''Dragoon''': ''"Muffin '''is''' a dragon. It all makes sense now. Like, when I'd say 'Polly want a cracker?" '''she'd''' say "No, Muffin want to rip a knight in half and suck out the pulp.'"''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Achilles' Heel]]: {{spoiler|A spear through her brain.}}
* [[Batman Gambit]]: How she deals with each of the Light Warriors.
Line 495 ⟶ 522:
=== White Mage ===
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Already Done for You]]: {{spoiler|Kills Chaos while the Light Warriors were stalling for time to think of a way out of it.}}
* [[Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?]]
Line 516 ⟶ 545:
{{quote|''"I, gentlemen, am Sarda, and that makes me '''[[A Wizard Did It|the wizard who did it!]]'''"''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[A God Am I]]
* [[Arch Enemy]]: To Black Mage.
Line 551 ⟶ 581:
* {{spoiler|[[Living Bodysuit]]: For Chaos.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Go Mad From the Isolation]]: Being trapped and alone for billions of years alone was really just the final straw that broke the wizard's mind.}}
** {{spoiler|[[Go Mad
* {{spoiler|[[One-Winged Angel]]: After absorbing the elemental orbs and Black Mage's super evil.}}
** {{spoiler|[[Clipped-Wing Angel]]: And explodes a few minutes later.}}
Line 559 ⟶ 589:
{{quote|''"'''You''' try walking a straight line without bumping into wave functions of neighboring realities."''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Achievements in Ignorance]]
* [[Bare-Fisted Monk]]
Line 572 ⟶ 603:
{{quote|''"All those poor, '''poor''' fools not living in towers or being able to leap into the stratosphere. It's like they wanted to drown."''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]]: While [[Only Sane Man|White Mage]] and [[Butt Monkey|Onion Kid]] list off the Light Warriors' atrocities, Dragoon complains about their unwittingly taking his spear with them to Sarda.
* [[Big Damn Heroes]]: {{spoiler|Pops up out of nowhere to save Thief from Muffin by jamming his spear through her head.}}
Line 591 ⟶ 623:
'''Princess Sara''': ''"It's 400 years old, dad."''
'''King Steve''': ''"Yes, yes. I designed it that way, you know."'' }}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[0% Approval Rating]]: To the point where half of his subjects, when given a choice, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/10/23/episode-345-political-nuances/ preferred to get a sword through their heads than to be ruled by King Steve forever.]
* [[Brick Joke]]: See [[The
* [[The Caligula]]: He starts wars with other countries and murders his own subjects on a whim. Plus, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/12/23/king-steve-theater-new-shoes/ he likes to wear shoes made from baby skin. Fresh daily. That cry.] His [[The Ditz|severe mental retardation]] does not help matters.
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]
* {{spoiler|[[The
* [[The Ditz]]: He's even more stupid than ''Fighter''.
* [[Imaginary Enemy]]: His political rival Length of String. {{spoiler|Until King Steve assassinates him.}}
Line 607 ⟶ 640:
=== Princess Sara ===
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Deadpan Snarker]]
* [[Demoted to Extra]]: A big part of the Dark Warrior and King Steve sub-plots earlier on, but Drizz'l and Left-Hand Man Gary essentially take her place.
Line 619 ⟶ 654:
{{quote|''"{{spoiler|I am the yawning chasm from before the before; the darkness after the end of all things. I am nothing and no thing is eternal.}}"''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Affably Evil]]: Rather sporting to the Light Warriors and, well, anyone who wants to destroy the world in a "cakeological singularity" can't be all bad.
* [[Bigger Bad]]: This ''IS'' based on ''[[Final Fantasy I]]'' after all. "Darko, the Dark God of the Dark" says that all the monsters in the world are "fragments" of Chaos.
Line 637 ⟶ 673:
=== Matoya ===
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Baleful Polymorph]]: Turns people who annoy her into frogs.
* [[Crystal Ball]]
Line 651 ⟶ 688:
'''Cultist''': ''"Any more!"''
'''Mrr'grt''': ''"As much!"'' }}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Big Bad Wannabe]]s: Actually got close to ending reality in both of their appearances, but they still pale in comparison to the Fiends, Sarda, and the Light Warriors.
* [[Cult]]
* [[Embarrassing First Name
* [[Everything's Squishier with Cephalopods]]
* [[Filler Villain
* [[Nietzsche Wannabe
* [[Omnicidal Maniac
* [[Punctuation Shaker]]
* [[Religion of Evil]]
Line 665 ⟶ 704:
=== Astos ===
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Evil Chancellor]]
* [[Evil Plan]]: {{spoiler|If the Light Warriors were killed by Drizz'l or the assassins, he would have simply plunged Elf Land into a dark age under his kingship. When the Light Warriors attacked him, he was going to use that to create a civil war.}}
Line 677 ⟶ 717:
{{quote|''"BEHOLD MY HUMAN LASER!"''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]
* [[Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"]]
Line 690 ⟶ 731:
{{quote|''"Suckers!"''}}
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Evil Redhead]]
* [[Honest John's Dealership]]
=== The Sulk ===
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Captain Ersatz]]
* [[The Eeyore]]
Line 701 ⟶ 744:
=== The Real Light Warriors ===
'''A description of the character goes here.'''
{{tropelist|Tropes exhibited by this character include:}}
* [[Butt Monkey]]s: Whenever we see these guys, they're usually getting screwed over.
* [[The Chew Toy]]s: When you consider how they were supposed to be the heroes, their suffering is very disenheartening.
* [[Cosmic Plaything]]s: Even when the Light Warriors aren't screwing them, things rarely work out for these guys.
* [[Evil Counterpart]]s: Inverted; since the Light Warriors are the very definition of [[Villain Protagonist]]s, they are very heroic. To drive the point home, while the RLWs use character sprites of Fighter, Thief, and Red Mage's upgraded classes from the first [[Final Fantasy]] game (Knight, Ninja, Red Wizard, respectively) Black Mage's is a ''White Wizard''.
* [[Missed the Call]]: They were supposed to be the ones to become chosen by fate, but because they were out level grinding, the main characters got the job.
* [[No Name Given]]: The only member of the group whose name was revealed is the Red Wizard named Barry.
* [[Think Nothing of It]]: When they ''do'' pull off some heroics, they are very humble about it.
{{worksubpagefooter}}
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