A Date with Rosie Palms: Difference between revisions

And because this page wouldn't be complete without her: In Ankh-Morpork on [[Discworld]], Rosie Palm, the head of the [[Unusual Euphemism|Seamstresses']] [[Band of Brothels|Guild]], is named as a [[Shout-Out]] to this, derived from an old British euphemism, "Rosie Palms and her five lovely daughters".

 

 

* [[Breaking in Old Habits]] - A character receives a replacement hand and immediately uses it to masturbate.

* [[Poor Man's Porn]] - A character gets off to something not strictly intended to be used for that purpose.

* [[Self Abuse]] - Masturbation is portrayed as bad for you.

 

Please move the following into the associate trope page.

 

* In the film ''[[Real Genius]]'', the [[Cool Loser|plucky charismatic underdogs]] implant a radio in the braces of the pompous, sycophantic Kent. Kent thinks he's being addressed by the voice of God. At the end of one transmission, [[Cool Loser|Mitch]] adds, "And Kent? From now on, stop playing with yourself!" Kent wonderingly murmurs, "It ''is'' God."

* ''[[But I'm a Cheerleader]]'': While poking fun at the ridiculous notion of a camp for curing homosexuality, the movie shows a couple of girls releasing their sexual frustration. The girls are all given small electric prods to punish themselves when they have "impure" thoughts; one girl gets creative with hers. And a short scene of the main character rubbing herself through her nightgown almost got the film an NC-17 rating.

* The memorable 1979 sex-education film ''[[Am I Normal]]?'' is all about this. Hilarious in its well-meaning ineptitude, the film combines typical earnest sex-ed material with the story of Jimmy, a lad going through puberty. As just one illustrative example of the painful "comedy" in Jimmy's story, at one point he's at the library, where he has to ask a hard-of-hearing librarian for help by loudly exclaiming "I want to know about the male penis!" One patron is so shocked by this that his [[Dodgy Toupee|toupée]] does a flip-take, flying several feet up off his head.<ref>In case you're curious, the answer given to the titular question is "Yes" - you're normal if you do, and normal if you don't.</ref>

 

* Deenie, in the [[Judy Blume]] book of the same name, mentions touching her "special place" and wondering if that's why she developed scoliosis. Blume said that a principal banned the book from his school library, saying [[Girls Need Role Models|he might've allowed it]] [[Double Standard|if the character were a boy]].<br /><br />Similar passages in Blume's ''Then Again, Maybe I Won't'' have made the book a favorite target of censors. Or perhaps it's because of the boy protagonist's [[Naughty Birdwatching|nocturnal activities]].

* In ''[[Tales of the Otori]]'', sexuality in general is given generally pragmatic treatment: occasionally it's an important part of the plot, but for the most part it's just in the background of the characters' lives. As such, masturbation is mentioned, but only... [[Incredibly Lame Pun|off-handedly]].

 

 

* In ''[[That 70s Show]]'', Fez, Eric and Kelso, mainly Fez, have mentioned their fondness for hands-on love. We don't know about Hyde, but he voiced his support for the practice -- when Fez asked how much masturbation is too much, Hyde responded, "There's no such thing as too much."

** Nina, Fez's co-worker and later girlfriend {{spoiler|whom he finally loses his virginity to}}, lampshades this by noticing that Fez's right hand is "stronger" than the other. Fez just says he's taken up fencing.

 

 

* The [[Web Original]] Spanish [[Superhero]] spoof ''Calico Electronico'' has a [[Running Gag]] about every time [[Ms. Fanservice]] character "La Ladrona" appears, the title character goes to the bathroom, where some... particular sounds... are covered by Calico singing (badly) opening themes of several old cartoons, the one from the Spanish dub of ''[[Captain Tsubasa]]'' being the most favored.

* In [[Look a Vlog]], Will is dragged out of the bathroom by Emily. When she asks what he was doing, he says, "Masturbating." Then goes back in.

 

 

* ''[[Beavis and Butthead]]'' has ''lots'' of masturbation jokes, mostly from Beavis, particularly in [[The Movie]].

** It becomes a significant plot point: The Feds can't find Beavis because he's off whackin' in Tom Anderson's trailer.

 

 

 

* In ''[[Neon Genesis Evangelion|The End of Evangelion]]'', Shinji does this {{spoiler|[[Dude, She's Like, in a Coma|over Asuka's comatose body.]]}} With an indiscretion shot of his creamed hand... yeech!

** [[Precision F-Strike|"I'm so fucked up..."]]

 

 

* Mentioned several times in the comic series ''[[Y: The Last Man]]'' seeing as virtually the entire male population has died. One women casually mentions the difficulty of finding replacement AA batteries for vibrators, and titular last man Yorick tells of one extensive 'session' where the government installed open-air showers outside a hotel he was staying in.

 

 

* The 1994 film ''Spanking the Monkey'' used masturbation as a thematic and symbolic plot device (as the title suggests). The young protagonist's sexual frustration as he cares for his convalescing mother is compounded by the fact that he never gets to successfully masturbate.

* Lester in ''[[American Beauty]]'' is obviously depressed, and more than once mentions masturbation in contrast with all he hates about his life. His unloving [[Stepford Smiler]] wife catches him in bed doing what he calls [[Hurricane of Euphemisms|"choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying 'hi' to my monster"]] because it's [[Sexless Marriage|literally been years since she's deigned to have sex with him]]. The one time in the film they get close to, um, getting close, she stops it because she's afraid he'll spill beer all over her precious, precious furniture.

 

 

* Masturbating due to a lack of social life is a running gag in ''[[The Areas of My Expertise]]''.

* In the novel and movie ''Little Children''; Ronnie, who is a registered sex offender and pedophile, goes on a date with a cohort to suppress his urges, then he feels so awkward being with her that he drives to a playground and masturbates in front of her.

 

 

* An episode of [[Rob Brydon]]'s comedy-drama series ''Human Remains'' has Rob playing a man whose compulsive masturbation apparently stems from the loss of his mother.

* There are constant jokes at Richard's expense in ''[[Bottom]]'' to show how pathetic he is (he is, in fact, a wanker). He even called his autobiography: "Richard Richard: I Did it My Way. On My Own. Quite a Lot. Now I've got a Sore Hand."

* In ''[[Oz]]'' Alvarez once masturbates in his prison cell and Ryan O'Reilly, a [[Stalker with a Crush]] [[Yandere]] for Dr. Nathan, does this while thinking of her.

 

* The [[Dresden Dolls]] song "Shores of California" says that "The girls are crying and the boys are masturbating" because guys want sex and girls want romance.

** On the subject of the Dolls, the song "First Orgasm" is about a lonely girl masturbating on a Thursday morning and eventually declaring, "I think I could last at least week without someone to hold me".

 

 

* ''[[Grand Theft Auto|Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas]]'' has a gag where one of the Brit junkies starts "having an appointment with Dr. Hans Jerkov" in Madd Dogg's studio.

** It's a sort of running gag--the guy is apparently addicted to it.

 

 

* In the musical [[Spring Awakening]], it's mostly played for laughs when Hanschen is masturbating to a post card of a girl, but he is also sexually disturbed as he dreams of raping her.

 

 

* In [[Questionable Content]], after a date in which [[Finagle's Law|everything went wrong]], Steve [http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1556 gets off in Marten&acute;s bathroom].

** Then there's the one where Faye's new shrink suggests it as an outlet for sexual frustration. [http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=808 It's no longer doing the job for Faye.]

* ''[[Girls with Slingshots]]'' does this a lot with Hazel during the early part of the strip, emphasizing the fact that she hasn't had sex for a while.

 

* Mackenzie, the protagonist of ''[[Tales of MU]]'', masturbates in her sleep due to her nature as a repressed [[Horny Devil]].

* Happens on a single occasion in ''[[Survival of the Fittest]]'' (it's of the 'sexually frustrated') variety. The character, Beth Vandelinder was subsequently [[Caught with Your Pants Down|Caught With Her Pants Down]].

 

 

* An episode of ''[[Moral Orel]]'' deals with Reverend Putty's private shame over his masturbation.

** ''God's Baker'' runs with it to disturbing extremes.

 

 

 

* In the ''[[Aliens vs. Predator]]'' comic book, a Marine left to guard the base is told there's some petroleum jelly in the supplies "in case he gets lonely".

 

 

* Mentioned very matter-of-factly in both the book and [[The Film of the Book|movie version]] of ''[[Jarhead]]''.

{{quote| '''Swoff:''' Suggested techniques for the Marine to use in the avoidance of boredom and loneliness: Masturbation. Rereading of letters from unfaithful wives and girlfriends. Cleaning your rifle. Further masturbation. Rewiring Walkman. Arguing about religion and meaning of life. Discussing, in detail, every woman the Marine has ever fucked. Debating differences, such as Cuban vs. Mexican, Harleys vs. Hondas, left- vs. right-handed masturbation. Further cleaning of rifle. Studying of Filipino mail order bride catalog. Further masturbation...}}

 

 

* Mentioned on several occasions but (unlike the [[Unusual Euphemism|frakking]]) never actually shown in ''[[Battlestar Galactica Reimagined]]''.

* This is briefly seen (with a [[Peek a Boo|wall as a censor bar]]) and interrupted in HBO's ''[[Generation Kill]]''.

 

 

* A character in ''[[Full Metal Jacket]]'' was [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|nicknamed "Hand Job"]] for his habit of masturbating at least ten times a day. It's also an example of the "mental health/sexual frustration" variety of masturbation in that the other recruits referred to him as a "crazy fucker" and that it ultimately got him scheduled for a Section 8 discharge<ref>a military discharge for those deemed mentally unfit for service</ref> when he was caught doing it in the waiting room after being sent to see a Navy psychologist, and he ultimately would have gotten shipped out if not for him {{spoiler|getting killed by a VC booby trap}}.

* Not exactly the "military setting" described above, but: In ''[[The Right Stuff]]'', the astronauts have to provide a sperm sample. The [[Battleaxe Nurse]] tells them, "the best results seem to be from fantasization, followed by masturbation, followed by ejaculation." So they head to the bathroom stalls, and the [[Semper Fi|Marine]] starts humming ''From the Halls of Montezuma'', and the Air Force guy joins in with ''Off We Go Into the Wild Blue Yonder''...

* ''[[Survival of the Dead]]''. The female member of the National Guard unit masturbates openly in front of her fellow soldiers, because there [[Sorry, I'm Gay|aren't any women available]].

 

* ''[[Half-Life]]'': One of the rewards offered to Combine grunts appears to be some sort of 'alone time' - especially useful given the [[No Sex Allowed|suppression field preventing natural sex]].

{{quote| '''Radio operator:''' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v{{=}}cF3k37j_wc4#t{{=}}3m14s Reminder:] 100 sterilize credits qualifies [[Expospeak Gag|non-mechanical reproduction simulation]].}}

 

 

* In the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "Saving Private Brian", when Brian and Stewie join the army, they're talking at night, and one guy yells, "You know, you guys are really making it hard to masturbate!" prompting another guy to yell, "Not for me!"

 

 

* In the fourth episodes of the second season of [[Rozen Maiden]], the dolls said, that Jun is in the toilet, reading "magazines".

* The manga ''[[Onani Master Kurosawa]]''. In translation: Kurosawa, the Master of Masturbating.

 

 

* During [[Neil Gaiman]]'s run on ''[[The Sandman]]'' in the early 90's, he was explicitly told by the editors that nobody masturbates in the DC Comics universe. In Gaiman's own words, "''actually, that explains a lot. That’s probably why the characters all dress in tight costumes and go around thumping the shit out of each other.''"

* The plot of the porn comic ''[[Small Favors]]'' opens with lesbian Annie being informed by an aspect of herself that she's exhausted her lifetime allotment of masturbation time. The photographic evidence supplied is a stack of photographs at least a foot tall... all of her masturbating at different times, all taken on ''the same day''.

 

 

* In the dreaded [[My Immortal]], Lupin is caught "masticating" in the bath to a video that he and Snape took of Ebony. Later on she says that he "MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong)". ([[Ask a Stupid Question|Yes.]])

* ''[[Neon Genesis Evangelion]]'' lemon fic ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3043801/1 A Glass Of Wine]'' has Asuka calming an anxious and embarrassed Hikari that "taking care of herself" will get rid of her wet dreams since such dreams are indicators that her brain is craving for an orgasm. Hikari is initially against the idea (no surprise there, knowing her character) until Asuka finishes the job herself. For the cast's most innocent girl.

 

 

* Vincent of ''[[Pulp Fiction]]'' spends some time in the bathroom psyching himself up to not give into the temptation to have sex with Mia Wallace (because she's the wife of his boss), and mentions masturbating to relieve the tension and "get over it" once he gets back home. But given Vincent's general track record of bad things happening when he goes to the bathroom during the movie, things do not end well.

* In the movie ''[[Dogma]]'', Rufus the Apostle attempts to prove to Jay and Bob that he's really from heaven:

 

 

* In [[Stephen King]]'s ''[[The Stand]]'' (the book, not the miniseries), Lloyd masturbated so he could sleep after the Captain Trips superflu killed everyone in the prison but him.

** Harold Lauder has a couple of even more disturbing and squick-inducing scenes along these lines. Squick-inducing even for unrepentant masturbators.

 

 

* Tuvok rather guiltily uses a holodeck when he Ponn Farrs in ''[[Star Trek: Voyager]]''. He balked at first and had to be talked into it. He did not go blind.

** It was not mentioned when Reginald Barclay got into trouble for using the holodeck with simulated other members of the crew who (in his holodeck simulation) practically worshiped Barclay. It was merely mentioned that it was wrong of him to simulate them, but no mention was made of the obvious potential there.

 

 

* A lot of people thought the song "Holdin' My Own" by [[The Darkness]] was about masturbation, though the band themselves denied this.

* The song "Unglued" by Stone Temple Pilots is about masturbation.

 

 

* In [[Egyptian Mythology]], this was how the world was ''created'', by the god Atum masturbating the universe into existence.

* Speaking of Mythology, guess what [[Greek Mythology|Zeus]], his brother Poseidon and his son Hermes did simultaneously onto a bull skin in order to create the hero Orion.

** Most versions say they urinated into it, actually. The name Orion means "the urinated one"

 

 

* Referenced in a zing by [[CM Punk]] in his [[Mystery Science Theater 3000|MST3K]]-like commentary of ''[[WWE]] NXT'' Season 3 ([[Ms. Fanservice|the Rookie Divas season]]) during a promo challenge when one of the Divas talks about the old "view people in their underwear" public speaking trick.

{{quote| '''[[CM Punk]]''': You know, it's funny, [[Getting Crap Past the Radar|I'm actually not wearing pants, and that's how I watch NXT every week.]]}}

 

 

* Regent Fokuf in ''[[Exalted]]'' is regarded as a completely boneheaded puppet leader for the Realm for two reasons. One is that he rubber stamps anything that comes past his desk without a care for the contents. The other is that he spends the rest of the day getting off on the saucier passages in the Realm's religious documents.

 

 

* [[Avenue Q|Just grab your dick and double-click for porn, porn, porn!]].

* [[Rent|Mucho masturbation!]]

 

 

* ''[[Mass Effect]]'' has a ''very'' subtle mention of this if a male Shepard decides to rebuff Ashley's advances toward the end of the game. She shrugs and says she'll head back to her own bunk to "find my own entertainment". A specific dialog choice when asking Kaidan about his past will have Shepherd indirectly, but pretty obviously, ask if he and the other teenagers in biotics training coped with boredom, loneliness and home-sickness with mutual masturbation; Alenko replies that it's not the sort of thing he does "lightly".

** That is a possible interpretation, though Occam's Razor would suggest Shepard thought they were hooking up and having rather than engaging in ''mututal masturbation''...

* In [[No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle]], pay attention to Travis after Henry wakes up from his dream fight with Mimmy. He's sitting in his chair jerking off, and freaks when Henry wakes up. It gets even funnier when you hear the Bizarre Jelly theme in the background.

 

* ''[[PK Comic]]'' directly references this trope in [http://www.pk-comic.com/comic0016.html this comic]

* The webcomic ''[[Sexy Losers]]'' had an entire storyline, "Mike's Left Hand", where the title character was a shameless, guiltless chronic masturbator. He even wrote books and taught classes on how to masturbate. His sister was later shown to be exactly the same way. Mike's roommate, unable to avoid him, steadily went insane (though he eventually recovered).

 

 

* [[Beautiful Agony]] is full of this trope. Only, like, two or three of the video clips on that site show sexual intercourse.

** And even then they don't really ''show'' it, since all the videos are only from the neck up. The most you'd see of a second person would be mad snogging.

 

 

* In an episode of ''[[The Venture Brothers]]'', Rusty rents ''[[The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas]]'' and invites Brock to watch it with him. When Brock demurs, Rusty admits the movie was "meant to be watched ''solo a mano''." He's also deaf to warnings that the movie doesn't live up to its title.

** 24 is seen perusing porn several times due to the low chance of meeting women in his henching job.