Advance Wars: Eternal War/Awesome
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- Whenever somebody uses a Super CO power, expect one of these.
- Jonathan got one near the start.
- "A serious look appeared on Jonathan's face. "I agree. I was told that nation had an iron grip on it's citizen's throats. Why else would they wear pink? Or follow that ...disturbing child. How she got to power is beyond me. I'll send some people to look into it. Still, we must deal with the task at hand first." Jonathan got out a small USB device, and plugged into the computer. "This, Flash, is a marvellous opportunity to test out the latest in my line of anti-blogger machinery. I designed it to irreparably damage the computers of fools on the internet. You know, the kind that spend all day posting "Feerst pohst!" and "eet suhks eppeecley." If i turn it up, it should do some considerable damage to the posters of this propaganda as well. if they are truly from pink cosmos, then we will make a formal apology, call it a training exercise gone wrong, and win their trust back by sending them tea and crumpets. Since we are the only country who makes crumpets, and we have the best tea, far better than that brown desert slop that tastes of sand and camel urine, it should give us some brilliant PR. Alternatively, if it is not Pink Cosmos we are dealing with, we can simply follow the trail of corpses to the fools that dare cast my brilliant research in a negative light." Jonathan pressed a button on the USB device, and a loud explosion was heard. then another one, and another one, and visible clouds of dust could be seen over pink cosmos, forming words, and spelling out "You should have seen this coming" right above the capital."
- Flash's response?
- Flash dives over to the window, and says slowly, while turning around, "What. did. you. DO?!" He takes out a gun, and points it at Jonathan. "You.. you are mad! MAD, I SAY! I just hope that Jade Sun will help us against Pink Cosmos's power! we are REALLY going to need it!"
- it gets better.
- Jonathan smirks at Flash's panic. "Heh heh heh... mad? Would a mad person know that the gun you are holding, a LOL-042 pistol, designed by pink cosmos, has a design flaw, preventing it from being fired if the room temperature is above a certain level? Did you think it was coincidence that the room temperature is precisely the right amount to be unnoticeable, yet be warm enough to melt the copper bullet while inside your gun? if you try and fire it now, that cheap, poorly-designed lump of metal will explode, taking your hand, and parts of your arm with it. Heh heh heh... it will be quite messy. that's also why my guards haven't shot you yet. blood stains are murder to get out of silk. heh heh heh... murder. I'm funny, aren't I?" 14 armed guards came out of their various hiding places, and laughed in agreement. Jonathan walked over to flash, and, before he could even react, drew a screwdriver, sharpened to the point of being a knife, and knocked the useless gun out of Flash's hands. "Now, as for your unflattering statement on our nation's strength, you forget three important things. Number one, Pink cosmos is ruled by a child, currently driving her father's country into the ground. Number Two, Her soldiers will spend more time stopping assassination attempts than fighting. And three, you have... ME. So there we go, problem solved, we may now have crumpets and blue tea." 2 soldiers nonchalantly walk out towards the diner, to get some crumpets and blue tea.
- Knight Owl's Character Establishing Moment.
- "Good afternoon." A man walked in, everything fully concealed by a large black cloak. He closed the curtains, and removed his cloak, revealing his horrific half-owl form. "I trust you are not too bemused by my appearance to realise that I am now a CO, and should be treated as such. Alternatively, treat me as a hideous monster that can kill you in fourteen different ways before you hit the ground. whichever gives you the most respect for me." He smiled. "My codename is Knight Owl, I specialise in aerial combat."