Asbestos-Free Cereal: Difference between revisions
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* There was a bit of a scandal in the Netherlands some years ago when chupa chup lollies came on the market and made a big point about 'being healthy' (on account of the fruit-juice in it). Of course they aren't: they are full of sugar and the fruit is way to much processed to have any nutritional value. They were laughed off the market. |
* There was a bit of a scandal in the Netherlands some years ago when chupa chup lollies came on the market and made a big point about 'being healthy' (on account of the fruit-juice in it). Of course they aren't: they are full of sugar and the fruit is way to much processed to have any nutritional value. They were laughed off the market. |
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=== Only one company calls an ingredient or component by a certain name === |
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=== Only one to contain a trademarked ingredient === |
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* Certs is advertised as the only breath freshener with Retsyn. Retsyn is a combination of ingredients which is made by Certs under the trademarked name "Retsyn," [[Don't Explain the Joke|so nobody else is allowed to use that name even if they use the same ingredients]]. |
* Certs is advertised as the only breath freshener with Retsyn. Retsyn is a combination of ingredients which is made by Certs under the trademarked name "Retsyn," [[Don't Explain the Joke|so nobody else is allowed to use that name even if they use the same ingredients]]. |
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** Ditto with Trident Xtra-Care gum, which advertises calcium-based Recaldent to "remineralize" teeth. (Recaldent, of course, is just a combination of the prefix "re-", the word "calcium", and the French "dent", meaning tooth.) |
** Ditto with Trident Xtra-Care gum, which advertises calcium-based Recaldent to "remineralize" teeth. (Recaldent, of course, is just a combination of the prefix "re-", the word "calcium", and the French "dent", meaning tooth.) |
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* Several yogurt companies do this as well, having invented their own trademarked names for certain bacteria that appear in the human digestive system; therefore, Activia really can say that they are the only yogurt that contains B.L. regularis, because they are the only ones with the rights to that particular name for it. |
* Several yogurt companies do this as well, having invented their own trademarked names for certain bacteria that appear in the human digestive system; therefore, Activia really can say that they are the only yogurt that contains B.L. regularis, because they are the only ones with the rights to that particular name for it. |
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* "Only Birdseye peas have Birdseye's Vitamins In Peas guarantee!" Yes, because you are hardly going to give that marketing gimmick to your competitors are you? |
* "Only Birdseye peas have Birdseye's Vitamins In Peas guarantee!" Yes, because you are hardly going to give that marketing gimmick to your competitors are you? |
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| ⚫ | * Brompton's bicycles claim to have over X amount of specialized parts on every bicycle (usually in the triple digits). Brompton also patented each part in a way that no other company can make parts that will fit on a Brompton. What this means is that Brompton has a monopoly on its parts. If your Brompton needs even the slightest bit of maintenance or repair, be prepared to pay through the nose because Brompton can charge any price it wants. (By contrast, there is a standard on most bicycle parts that frequently need repair, such as brakes and inner tubes, that nearly all other bicycle manufacturers follow, including those of higher quality than Brompton's.) |
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** ''[[Tales of Symphonia]]'' did one better: They advertised "over 80 hours of gameplay". Actual time to the completion of the storyline, with obnoxious [[Level Grinding]] and dubious [[Sidequest|Side Quests]]: around 40 hours. But they've got a [[New Game+]] feature, so that's forty hours, ''twice'', which is ''totally'' the same thing as eighty hours! |
** ''[[Tales of Symphonia]]'' did one better: They advertised "over 80 hours of gameplay". Actual time to the completion of the storyline, with obnoxious [[Level Grinding]] and dubious [[Sidequest|Side Quests]]: around 40 hours. But they've got a [[New Game+]] feature, so that's forty hours, ''twice'', which is ''totally'' the same thing as eighty hours! |
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* In the NES and SNES era, video game ads which trumpeted that the game in question possessed "The Nintendo Seal of Quality". The Nintendo Seal of Quality only meant that the game was guaranteed to run properly and met Nintendo's standards of censorship, and the publisher had paid Nintendo the licensing fee. It had nothing to do with whether or not the game was any good. Today the seal is simply called the "Official Nintendo Seal", disclaiming any particular guarantee of quality. |
* In the NES and SNES era, video game ads which trumpeted that the game in question possessed "The Nintendo Seal of Quality". The Nintendo Seal of Quality only meant that the game was guaranteed to run properly and met Nintendo's standards of censorship, and the publisher had paid Nintendo the licensing fee. It had nothing to do with whether or not the game was any good. Today the seal is simply called the "Official Nintendo Seal", disclaiming any particular guarantee of quality. |
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* Battery companies advertising that their alkaline batteries last 2 to 4 times longer than [[Brand X|other brands]] of battery. It's true. But they always fail to point out the type of battery they are comparing to is cheaper zinc–carbon batteries rather than similarly priced alkaline ones. If compared against similar alkaline batteries, there would be next to no difference in length of use. Duracell is a major offender with this. |
* Battery companies advertising that their alkaline batteries last 2 to 4 times longer than [[Brand X|other brands]] of battery. It's true. But they always fail to point out the type of battery they are comparing to is cheaper zinc–carbon batteries rather than similarly priced alkaline ones. If compared against similar alkaline batteries, there would be next to no difference in length of use. Duracell is a major offender with this. |
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* "Enriched flour" sounds impressive, but all it means is that some, but not all, of the nutrients lost during processing have been replaced, likely by synthetic vitamins. |
* "Enriched flour" sounds impressive, but all it means is that some, but not all, of the nutrients lost during processing have been replaced, likely by synthetic vitamins. |
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* Similar to the "Over X hours of gameplay!" listed above, many games would advertise having "Over X characters!" or something, and then would have X+1. A particularly bad example is ''[[Baten Kaitos]]'': It advertised "Over 1000 [[Fight Like a Card Player|Magnus]]!", and it has 1022. Which included things like plot and sidequest items, photos you take of enemies to sell them for cash since there are no [[Money Spider|Money Spiders]], healing expendables and a whole bunch of crap in general. |
* Similar to the "Over X hours of gameplay!" listed above, many games would advertise having "Over X characters!" or something, and then would have X+1. A particularly bad example is ''[[Baten Kaitos]]'': It advertised "Over 1000 [[Fight Like a Card Player|Magnus]]!", and it has 1022. Which included things like plot and sidequest items, photos you take of enemies to sell them for cash since there are no [[Money Spider|Money Spiders]], healing expendables and a whole bunch of crap in general. |
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* Ultra-pasteurization is a process that involves boiling milk at such a high temperature that almost all the bacteria is removed, improving its shelf-life, which is useful for the people storing it. It also destroys most of the milk's flavor, and provides zero health benefits (it might even make it less healthy, since it destroys bacteria that would probably be good for you.) So what do you do when US law forces you to put an "ultra-pasteurized" label on your product? You put the words in big, italicized letters right on the front of the carton, as if it's a selling point, and hope the unsuspecting public assumes it means the milk is healthier or somehow better than normal milk. |
* Ultra-pasteurization is a process that involves boiling milk at such a high temperature that almost all the bacteria is removed, improving its shelf-life, which is useful for the people storing it. It also destroys most of the milk's flavor, and provides zero health benefits (it might even make it less healthy, since it destroys bacteria that would probably be good for you.) So what do you do when US law forces you to put an "ultra-pasteurized" label on your product? You put the words in big, italicized letters right on the front of the carton, as if it's a selling point, and hope the unsuspecting public assumes it means the milk is healthier or somehow better than normal milk. |
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* In 2011, the Belgian cable company Telenet has been advertising its internet via the cable as "[[Unit Confusion|Surf at the speed of light]]!" Virtually all internet traffic uses fibre-optic connection at some point in the process, which moves at the speed of light. The only thing that improves download speeds is ''how many'' signals can be sent at the same time over the same connection. |
* In 2011, the Belgian cable company Telenet has been advertising its internet via the cable as "[[Unit Confusion|Surf at the speed of light]]!" Virtually all internet traffic uses fibre-optic connection at some point in the process, which moves at the speed of light. The only thing that improves download speeds is ''how many'' signals can be sent at the same time over the same connection. |
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| ⚫ | * Brompton's bicycles claim to have over X amount of specialized parts on every bicycle (usually in the triple digits). Brompton also patented each part in a way that no other company can make parts that will fit on a Brompton. What this means is that Brompton has a monopoly on its parts. If your Brompton needs even the slightest bit of maintenance or repair, be prepared to pay through the nose because Brompton can charge any price it wants. (By contrast, there is a standard on most bicycle parts that frequently need repair, such as brakes and inner tubes, that nearly all other bicycle manufacturers follow, including those of higher quality than Brompton's.) |
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== [[Lampshade Hanging|Lampshade Hangings]] and [[Parodies]] == |
== [[Lampshade Hanging|Lampshade Hangings]] and [[Parodies]] == |
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