Boston Legal/Funny
- Lesbian.
- Claire in her first episode to Alan:
I know who you are. You are a horny little toad. Toads give me warts. Hop away, horny toad. |
- Alan's word salad. Especially funny because the inflection is spot-on—it sounds like he's just swapped all the phonemes in a perfectly legitimate sentence.
Alan Shore: Pillow pants join forces over embargo pylons. You aren't mailing past honor for the liking of a room. These questions are birthday basements. To end the blue radish in the upside of luxury and sparking a good lizard can only make tears fall in hindsight. Puddles do not ask for why not? It is cheese! Breath and wind. It is cheese. [sits down, spent and furious, then nonchalantly looks up] What? |
- Also Alan and Denny's wrestling match over Shirley.
- In the first season, Alan is punched in the face defending Tara from a man who can't take no for an answer. His response? He pays off a bunch of "big people" to start a bar brawl. Watch the madness here.
- WAR! HUH! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?!
Malcolm: This is why I went to law school. |
- Alan Shore to an odious, faux-folksy Texas credit card company lawyer.
"You know, we have a little saying in Massachusetts: 'Maybe someday you'll get horribly sick and die.' Until then!" |
- Denny trying to get out of a date with Bethany, a Jewish dwarf:
"That's another thing! (taps his head) Mad Cow! 's not kosher!" |
- And later he and Alan are discussing the date:
Denny: God, I hope she doesn't put a hex on me. Can they do that? Midgets? |
- A woman Denny recently had sex with says that something is "better than sex," prompting Denny to freak out:
Denny: [taps his head with remote] Mad Cow. It hasn't progressed in my brain, but there are other symptoms. Be it blood pressure...it affects me. |
- Jerry Espenson singing along to the theme song, complete with clips of him dancing and Shirley's absolutely bewildered reaction interspersed with the actual credits.
- "A man's home is where his heart is. In my case, the penis." Thus spake Denny.