Child-Hater/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


"Because, my little artichoke, I'm 16 and you're 10. DO THE MATH!!!"
"Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad."
—Leo Rosten, about W. C. Fields.

Manny: I wuv you, Awnt Cakey.

Aunt Cakey: Somebody get this kid to a speech therapist.
"Oh look, what clever children! See them study, see them learn! How I HATE those goodie-goodies, how it makes my stomach turn!"

[Tommy Vercetti walks into the Cherry Popper ice cream factory]
Maude: Who are you?
Tommy: Your new owner.
Maude: Were you now, or at any time, a child?
Tommy: What are you talking about?
Maude: Were you a child!?
Tommy: Yes! Calm down! What's wrong with you?
Maude: I knew it. A child! A dirty, stinking, sniveling, snotting, vile, puking, crying little baby. A baby!! An awful, horrible, disgusting little boo-hoo! Mommy doesn't love you. You little shit! [Kicks Tommy in the foot]
Tommy: Ow! Calm down.
Maude: I HATE babies, and I hate children. They're dirty, sniveling, snotting, vile, puking little-
Tommy: Enough already! What is wrong with you?? You make soft ice cream, okay? It's purely for kids. What kind of psycho are you? Just so I understand this, why make children happy if you hate them?
Maude: Oh, you stupid, sniveling, snotty-
Tommy: Shut up!
Maude: Brat! The ice cream is a front. We distribute other non-dairy products. And if I see a kid, I put him to good use. [Talking to herself] Don't I, kiddies? Yes, yes I do. Mummy doesn't love you. She HATES you!!

Tommy: (What a nice lady. Still, y'know, I hear there's good money in ice cream.)
"You know, I really hate children!"
Dolores Umbridge, Harry Potter