Deadpan Snarker/Literature/Harry Potter: Difference between revisions

Snape's response to when {{spoiler|Dumbledore orders [[It Makes Sense in Context|Snape to kill him]]}}:

{{quote|'''Snape:''' ''(voice heavy with irony)'' "Would you like me to do it now? Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?"}}

{{quote|''What would your head have been doing in Hogsmeade, Potter? Your head is not allowed in Hogsmeade. No part of your body has permission to be in Hogsmeade.''}}

{{quote|'''Snape:''' Miss Granger has developed a taste for famous wizards which Potter alone cannot... satisfy.}}

* Snape's response to Harry about ghosts:

 

* [[J. K. Rowling]] ''herself'', especially when responding to some of the more [[Epileptic Trees|bizarre speculation]] about the books or her personal life:

*** She later admitted she ''made up'' the "Toenail of Icklibõgg" rumor (the "Pillar of Storgé" one, however? 100% real<ref>Storgé is a Greek word for platonic love, and the rumour was apparently a [[Take That]] to Harmonians.</ref>).

*** Responding on her website to whether the seventh book would be called "''Harry Potter and the Pyramids of Furmat''", Rowling wrote "The Pyramids of Furmat lie a few miles east of the famous Fortress of Shadows, not far from the magnificent Pillar of Storgé. Many tourists prefer to view these ancient monuments at night, when they are illuminated by the Green Flame Torch." (Those are all previously rumored titles.)

*** She said that she might name the seventh book ''Harry Potter and the Mystic Kettle of Nackeldirk''. [[Sarcasm Failure|Yes, there were some people, as indicated by Mugglenet's Hall of Shame, who actually took that seriously and thought it would be the title.]] [[Too Dumb to Live|Ouch.]]

*** Rowling's first husband apparently once claimed that he had helped her with the first ''Potter'' book. Her reply was "He had as much input into ''Harry Potter'' as I had in ''[[A Tale of Two Cities]]''."

*** When fans started speculating there would be a character named Icicle in the sixth book (based on a misheard interview), Rowling said "There is no character named 'Icicle' in Book Six. There is however, a Professor Bicycle."

 

{{quote|'''Scrimgeour (scratching his badly shaven cheek and scrutinizing Harry):''' Why do you think -

'''Harry (struggling to keep his temper):''' - Dumbledore would have given me the sword? <ref>of Gryffindor</ref> ...Maybe he thought it would look nice on my wall.

'''Harry:''' Interesting theory. Has anyone ever tried sticking a sword in Voldemort? Maybe the Ministry should put some people onto that, instead of wasting their time stripping down Deluminators or covering up breakouts from Azkaban... }}

*** [[Hilarious in Hindsight]] because Scrimgeour and Harry ''both'' ended up being right.