Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell/Quotes

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As you might guess if you've watched more than one episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, many of us involved in the writing of the show hate Renaissance festivals to the point that we have wished dire harm on their participants and patrons, written letters to wit, received court orders enjoining us from stalking around them, been incarcerated for lighting fires in the bazaar and hurling flaming dream-catchers at horrified festers.

Well, that describes me to the letter.

"Creative anachronism" my sorry Irish ass. A Ren-fest is nothing more than an excuse to be lame, smelly and fat, just like XFL fans, only worse. I'm betting most of these clowns couldn't spell "Renaissance" if you threatened their tender vittles with hot iron. I hope some day they live out their wish to know what it was like back then by contracting plague.

Too harsh? You go to a Renaissance festival and get back to me.

-Kevin Murphy