Do Not Do This Cool Thing/Quotes

"So the message here is, doing drugs gets you chicks."

—Rifftrax Live, Reefer Madness

"'This franchise will never willfully disrespect, intentionally or otherwise, [the] memory and service [of military personnel].' Serious words delivered with humility, but still words from a man who at some point during the game's development sat in a meeting where someone said, 'Yes, let's have a quad-bike level.'"

—Eurogamer review of Medal of Honor (2010)

"It can be argued, for instance, that war is grotesque. But in truth war is also beauty. For all its horror, you can't help but gape at the awful majesty of combat. You stare out at tracer rounds unwinding through the dark like brilliant red ribbons. You crouch in ambush as a cool, impassive moon rises over the nighttime paddies. You admire the fluid symmetries of troops on the move, the harmonies of sound and shape and proportion, the great sheets of metal-fire streaming down from a gunship, the illumination rounds, the white phosphorus, the purply orange glow of napalm, the rocket's red glare. It's not pretty, exactly. It's astonishing. It fills the eye. It commands you. You hate it, yes, but your eyes do not. Like a killer forest fire, like cancer under a microscope, any battle or bombing raid or artillery barrage has the aesthetic purity of absolute moral indifference - a powerful, implacable beauty - and a true war story will tell you the truth about this, though the truth is ugly."

—Tim O'Brien, The Things They Carried

"It doesn't matter how big the warnings on the cigarettes are; you could have a black pack, with a skull and crossbones on the front, called TUMORS, and smokers would be around the block going, 'I can't wait to get my hands on these fucking things! I bet ya get a tumor as soon as you light up!'"

—Denis Leary, No Cure for Cancer

Mrs Mason: In the other cinema there is a dreadful thing called Our Painted Daughters. How they allow such filth onto the screen...

Narrator: Mrs Mason accepted a glass of a rather young red wine to accompany her salad and continued her condemnation, with the result that the entire company resolved to see Our Painted Daughters at the earliest opportunity. Even Dot, who was a self-confessed Good Girl, found herself interested.

—Kerry Greenwood, Dead Man's Chest

A lot of anti-porn accounts read like when Jesse went to group therapy in Breaking Bad and talked about how great the new meth was to get the addicts back on the habit.

—Jeremy McLellan on Twitter