Elemental Chess Trilogy/Funny

Oh, dear Lord. As a sequel to Fullmetal Alchemist - where the funny can come from everywhere, including the most serious of moments, this does not disappoint.

Flowers of Antimony

Ed's many nicknames for the Colonel throughout the trilogy.
Colonel Mustang's first lines to Edward in the entire trilogy:

Colonel Mustang: "You're the only guy I know who can turn getting married into an international incident."

Fuhrer Grumman badgering Mustang to marry his granddaughter over the phone:

Grumman: "I'm not getting any younger, Mustang! Step on it!"
Mustang: "Sir..."
Grumman: "I want to know that she's settled before I go. She's all I have."
Mustang: "Yes, sir, but..."
Grumman: "No buts! And get me that status report I asked you for."
Mustang: "Of course, sir."

Edward's explanation of a chimera to Winry in Chapter 5 which is so sweet it crosses with a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming:

Edward: "A chimera is what you get when you get two life forms and more or less merge them into one being."
Winry: "That sounds revolting."
Edward: "It can be - but if you think about it, isn't that what we're doing?"
Winry: "I don't follow."
Edward: "We're taking a you and merging it with a me and the result is going to be an us. And the us will be better and more complete than the you and the me were by ourselves. A chimera."

Mr. Garfiel commenting on Winry's wedding gown:

Garfiel: "He's probably more determined to see you out of the gown, darling."

Roy and Riza arriving in Risembool a whole week early in which Roy explains the situation is the result of a 'clerical error'.

Ed: "Clerical error, huh? Sure, sure, I get it."

In the same chapter, Roy's moustache is explained:

Roy: "Who drew this ridiculous-looking mustache on my picture!"

And then Riza trying to make him feel better:

Riza: "Really, sir, it's not that awful."
Roy: "You're lying, Colonel."
Riza: "Only because I care, sir."

Sig and Izumi's love story:

Izumi: "The tenderloin got him a first date. I accepted his marriage proposal when it came with steaks."

This part of the narration made me crack up:

Falman has returned to the north, and to the wife and son who waited for him there. He is expecting his second child in the fall. General Armstrong has apparently 'volunteered' to be the new baby's godmother, and Falman is honestly not sure whether he should be flattered, proud, or disturbed. Ed votes for all three.

Ed's bachelor party. They play poker drunk while betting the most ridiculous things, such as who gets to be the Mayor of Central City. This troper's favorite is Ling's:

Ling: "Whoever wins the next hand gets my sister's hand in marriage."
Unknown: "So whoever wins the next hand gets his ass kicked by Alphonse? I fold!"

- Not to mention Grumman, who spends the entire time pretending to be drunk.

"I have decided that there will be a new law and all cars will drive on the right side of the road!"
"I have decided to design a new flag for Amestris! Our emblem will now be a poodle!"
"I have decided to rename the four seasons! Instead of fall, winter, spring and summer, we will have Frank, Ed, Joe and Bob!"
"I have decided that weddings are good for the soul! We must have at least one a month!" And to this end... "I have decided to do away with the anti-fraternization law! Eh? How's that? That should help, yes?"