Fr/Canada, Eh?: Difference between revisions

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(This is not French BTW, this is Canadian pseudo-French)
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Canada se compose essentiellement de cinq parties distinctes, hein:
Canada se compose essentiellement de cinq parties distinctes, hein:


* '''[[Toronto]]''': essentiellement <s> Chicago, mais propre, eh? </s> New York, mais plus petit, eh? Pas vraiment la capitale nationale, en dépit du fait de nombreux étrangers pensent que ce est, eh? Ce est en fait la province <ref> "provinces" sont la version des États du Canada, ya hoser. </ref> capitale de l'Ontario, eh?
* '''[[Toronto]]''': essentiellement <s> Chicago, mais propre, eh? </s> New York, mais plus petit, eh? Pas vraiment la capitale nationale, en dépit du fait de nombreux étrangers pensent que ce est, eh? Ce est en fait la province <ref> "provinces" sont la version des États du Canada, hoser eh?. </ref> capitale de l'Ontario, eh?
* '' 'Le Grand Nord Woods' '': rempli de trappeurs, bûcherons (qui d'habitude[[Monty Python|sont bien]]), treacherous squaws, moose, beavers, and [[Mountain Man|hommes de la montagne]], all of them named Pierre [[The Arrogant Worms|(even the girl)]], and all of them wearing flannel and furs ([[Monty Python's Flying Circus|except in]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zey8567bcg some cases]), eh?
* '' 'Le Grand Nord Woods' '': rempli de trappeurs, bûcherons (qui d'habitude[[Monty Python|sont bien]]), treacherous squaws, moose, beavers, and [[Mountain Man|hommes de la montagne]], tout nombre Pierre [[The Arrogant Worms|(même la fille)]],et tout porte flannelle et fourrure ([[Monty Python's Flying Circus|sauf dans]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zey8567bcg non cas]), eh?
* '''The Atlantic region''': basically [[Hollywood New England|Maine]] but [[Up to Eleven|even colder]], eh? Full of flannel-wearing fishermen with funny accents falling somewhere between Irish, Scottish, and [[Pirate]], eh?
* '''The Atlantic region''': basicallement [[Hollywood New England|Maine]] mais [[Up to Eleven|plus froides]], eh? Complet de flanelle-porter pêcheurs avec accents drôles relevant quelque part entre irlandaise, écossaise, et [[Pirate]], eh?
* '''Quebec''', full of artsy, [[French Jerk|stuck up French-types]] who hate the people in the other parts and other Frenchmen. Abandoned by France in favour of the Caribbean, but who wouldn't, ''[[Foreign Cuss Word|ostie]]''?
* '''Quebec''', artsy, [[French Jerk|le Quebecois]] qui détestent les gens dans les autres parties et d'autres Français. Abandonné par la France en faveur de la Caraïbe, mais qui ne serait pas, ''[[Foreign Cuss Word|ostie]]''?
* '''[[Eskimo Land|The Arctic]]''',
* '''[[Eskimo Land|The Arctic]]''', full of igloos, playful polar bears and parka-wearing Inuit, quite possibly [[Polar Bears and Penguins|penguins]], and of course cute little baby seals... at least until the polar bears and people find them. Which is awesome, eh?
plein d'igloos, des ours polaires et ludiques parka portant Inuits, très probablement [[Polar Bears and Penguins|penguinnes]], et bien sûr mignons petits bébés phoques ... au moins jusqu'à ce que les ours polaires et les personnes à trouver. Ce qui est génial, eh?


Keep in mind that '''Canada, Eh?''' has no West Coast (besides ''all'' of British Columbia), no Prairies (besides a fairly large hunk of the middle of the country), and certainly no punishingly hot weather (except for [[Stargate City|Vancouver]]). The hot weather stops right aboot at the border (unless it presents a passport), eh!
En mentale '''Canada, Eh?''' no Cote Ouest (mais ''tout'' British Columbia), non Prairies (mais non. Je suis desole, Winnipeg), et non froid-chaud (mais [[Stargate City|Vancouver]]). Aboot then le weather est stop at le border (mais le passe-porte), eh!


For more [[Artistic License Geography|simple-minded]] [[Viewers are Morons|types]], Canada consists of two parts, eh?:
For more [[Artistic License Geography|simple-minded]] [[Viewers are Morons|types]], Canada consists of two parts, eh?:
* '''Toronto''': Icy hellhole, eh? Full of maple syrup, French people, moose, beavers, Moonties (who are [[Due South|Paul Gross]] clones) and people who say eh, eh?
* '''Toronto''': Hellhole de glaceurs, eh? Sirop d'erable, Francais, orignals, les beavers, Moonties (sont [[Due South|Paul Gross]] clones) et gens qui dit eh, eh?
* '''Not Toronto''': Icier hellhole, eh? More syrup, French people, moose, beavers, Moonties (again, clones) and people who say eh, eh? And frequently called [[Inherently Funny Words|Moose Jaw, Flin Flon,]] [[Unfortunate Names|Dildo, Swastika, Asbestos]], and so on, eh?
* '''Not Toronto''': Icier hellhole, eh? Plus sirop, Francias, orignals, les nonplussed beavers, Moonties (clones et plein) et gens qui dit eh, eh? Et nombre frequentement [[Inherently Funny Words|Moose Jaw, Flin Flon,]] [[Unfortunate Names|Dildo, Swastika, Asbestos]], et en plain, eh?


Eeeeeh, Canadians [[South Park|eat nothing but Kraft Dinner]] (which is Canadian for "macaroni and cheese"), Tim Hortons, donuts, poutine,<ref>French fries with cheese curds, and enough gravy to partially melt the cheese</ref> and <s>Canadian</s>back bacon, eh? Anglophone Canadians all speak with a stereotyped [[wikipedia:West/Central Canadian English|West/Central Canadian English]] accent, putting "eh" [[Verbal Tic|at the end of questions or affirmations]], and prominently raising the "ou" in aboot every word containing it, eh?
Eeeeeh, Canadiennes [[South Park|non mange pas mais le Kraft Dinner]] (en Canadienne "macaroni and cheese", eh?), Tim Hortons, donuts, poutine,<ref>[[frwikipedia:Poutine|Wikipedia:]]</ref> et <s>Canadian</s>ennuyeux bacon, eh? Anglophone Canadians all speak with a stereotyped [[wikipedia:West/Central Canadian English|West/Central Canadian English]] eh? [[Verbal Tic|a eh? le questions ou l'affirmations]], et aboot raisent in 'about' mais it eh?


Our army consists of a guy with a BB gun mounted on a moose, our air force a paper airplane.<ref>And [[Too Cool to Live|the Avro Arrow]]</ref> [[Berserk Button|Never forget]], eh!, and our navy a guy in a canoe with a slingshot, eh?
Our army est orignal le BB gun, ours airforce un single plane papier<ref>ET [[Too Cool to Live|l'Avro Arrow]]</ref> [[Berserk Button|Non non non!]], eh!, and ours navy est orignal le slingshot pannier, eh?


All policemen are Mounties, and they wear their red serge dress tunics and broad-brimmed Montana Peak hats constantly while on regular duty, eh?
All policemen are Mounties, and they wear their red serge dress tunics and broad-brimmed Montana Peak hats constantly while on regular duty, eh?
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