Girlchan in Paradise/WMG

Kotobaru-san-sama and Galacticamaru are brothers of some sort, or at least the same species

This theory is entirely based on the fact that they both have golden nipples.

Swirly Glasses is the only one who can actually EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.

Whenever the Split-Screen Reaction happens, Swirly Glasses has a lower pitched 'Huhh...', similar to Kotomaru. He knows more than he's letting on.

Confirmed! He's Captain #1.

Kenstar has Obfuscating Stupidity.

Sometimes he has moments of clarity and seems to be the Only Sane Man. Perhaps he is aware he is in a parody and is going along with the act.

Green Guy is a Captian

He's just Obfuscating Stupidity.

Girl-Chan In Paradise was never in Japanese

I mean this In-Universe. During Episode 3, it doesn't make sense that the animation would have Green Guy right after he blows up with Maytag. He's only there for the VA to complain. He wasn't added in there afterhand because he doesn't have the white markings. The makers of GIP wanted people to believe it was a real Japanese Anime because there's more money in it.

Or more likely Egoraptor just put them there as placeholders for their 'voice actors'...

Kotobaru-san-sama will never fight. Ever.

He's going to end up being that guy on the sidelines who doesn't even attempt to fight. Just like Master Roshi after the original series ended.