View source for Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today?

{{trope}}
[[File:i just had sex 4794.png|frame|link=The Lonely Island|[[Speed Sex|It was the best thirty seconds of my life!]]]]
{{quote|''Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men!''|'''Zapp Brannigan''', ''[[Futurama]]''}}

A character who talks big about his ([[A Man Is Not a Virgin|or, more rarely, her]]) love life and success with the ladies (or gents), but in fact has little or nothing going on. Can be part of [[Of Course I'm Not a Virgin]].

If everybody ''else'' is talking about the protagonist's (nonexistent) conquests, it's an [[Urban Legend Love Life]].

Compare [[Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?]], which is frequently used in a parallel way. Subtrope of [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]].

{{noreallife|All The Tropes is not a gossip site.}}
{{examples}}

== [[Anime]] and [[Manga]] ==
* [[Rare Female Example]]: Sae in ''[[Hidamari Sketch]]'' constantly insists she has had tons of boyfriends and has all kinds of experience which she supposedly uses as inspiration for her writing.
* Another [[Rare Female Example]]: Saori in ''[[Girls und Panzer]]'' talks a big game about having lots of boyfriends or romantic experience and wisdom, but has little success to show for it.

== [[Film]] ==
* ''[[American Beauty]]''. {{spoiler|The 16-years-old Angela isn't the slut she makes herself out to be.}}
* Sherman in the first ''[[American Pie]]'' film.
* ''[[The Breakfast Club]]''. Brian tries to insist that "[He's] laid loads of times", and upon further questioning by Bender he insinuates that he's had sex with Claire. He later admits that he's a virgin.
* Rascal in ''[[Memphis Belle]]'' constantly teases "Virgil the Virgin" while bragging about his own conquests. The novelization reveals that Rascal himself is in fact a virgin.
* In ''[[The Departed]]'', [[The Mole]]'s new marriage is suffering from [[The Loins Sleep Tonight]]. When his boss says that women are attracted to married men because "it tells them you've got some money and your dick works," he responds, "Oh, it's working! Ha-ha! Overtime!"

== Literature ==
*  {{spoiler|Carlos Ramirez}} from ''[[The Dresden Files]]''. He talks a big game but when they show up at the Hollows in the run up to the climax in ''White Night'' [[Friendly Neighborhood Vampire|Lara Raith]] is touched that Harry thought to bring a virgin as a gift.

== [[Live Action TV]] ==
* Daniel Radcliffe guests starred in an episode ''[[Extras]]'' as himself - a pathetic version of himself who is desperate to shag anything that moves and to shake off his Harry Potter persona by doing such "adult" things as smoking.
{{quote|'''Radcliffe''': I've done it with a girl, sex wise.}}
* Parodied with Dave in ''[[Flight of the Conchords]]'', who acts like an expert in all things, especially being a ladies' man. Judging by his tendency toward [[Malapropisms]] and the way he (deniedly) lives with his parents...
* Kirk St Moritz from ''[[Dear John (British series)|Dear John]]'' was always bragging about his non-existent conquests.
* In an episode of ''[[Quantum Leap]]'' the son of the person Sam leapt into was a virgin and his "friends" mocked him for it, but according to [[Word of God|Word Of Ziggy]] one of them was a virgin too.
* Richard Richard from ''[[Bottom]]''.
* Bud Bundy from ''[[Married... with Children|Married With Children]]''.
* Prince Edmund in the first series of ''[[Blackadder]]''.
* In ''[[The IT Crowd]]'', Moss does this when he has to pretend to be married, several times going out of his way to mention all the frequent and amazing sex that goes on in his marriage.
* Xander's classmate in the ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' episode "Teacher's Pet". We know this because he becomes the prey of a [[Monster of the Week]] that only eats male virgins. He threatens to sue everyone when they figure this out.
* The Todd from ''[[Scrubs]]'' is known across Sacred Heart and beyond for his high fives and constant sexual innuendo. When finally asked by the Janitor how many times he had sex recently the answer was a shame filled "Bagel."
* Parodied in the ''[[It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia|Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia]]'' episode "The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention" with Dee and Denis's cousin nicknamed "snail"
{{quote|'''Snail''': "Guess what mom, I'm sexually active!"
'''Her mother''': "You're 33, you're supposed to be sexually active." }}
* ''[[Arrested Development (TV series)|Arrested Development]]'': Telling Michael he had sex with Starla:
{{quote|'''Gob''': Guess who was just "over her." Don't-I'll tell you, me. I *bleep*ed the business model.
'''Voiceover''': Actually, they just made out.
'''Gob''': Yeah...she had all sorts of orgasms. }}
* In the unaired ''[[Global Frequency]]'' pilot, the main female lead is listing her very lengthy list of academic qualifications, all of which she has achieved at a very young age (she's no older than thirty). The male lead makes a joke along the lines of "how'd you find time to have a life?" The female lead, suddenly very touchy, begins insisting that she had a life, ending with a completely out of the blue and not very convincingly delivered declaration that she "had boyfriends," the implication being that she's lying and is probably still a virgin.
*  {{spoiler|1=Mini McGuinness}} from the third generation of ''[[Skins]]''.
* Jay from ''[[The Inbetweeners]]'' does this all the time.
* Itano in ''Sakura Kara no Tegami''.

== [[Music]] ==
* [[The Lonely Island]] would like to tell you that they [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o just had sex!] It was the best thirty seconds of their ''life!''

== [[Theater]] ==
* Rod from ''[[Avenue Q]]'' incorporates this into his song, [[Girlfriend in Canada|"My Girlfriend Who Lives In Canada."]] Granted, he was [[Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?|hiding something else]], [[Transparent Closet|albeit unsuccessfully]], but there was a dose of this, too.

== [[Web Animation]] ==
* In a ''[[Red vs. Blue]]'' Valentine's day PSA:
{{quote|'''Grif:''' Valentine's day? The day we celebrate love? And Romace? You know... girls?
'''Simmons:''' Ohhh yeah, I celebrate that ''all'' the time with ''all'' kinds of ladies.
'''Griff:''' Riiight. Then why didn't you know what I meant?
'''Simmons:''' I thought you said Valentine's... Doy? }}

== [[Web Comics]] ==
* T-Rex from ''[[Dinosaur Comics]]'' seems to discuss non-existent/"hypothetical" relationships often.
** Though, early strips establish that [http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=4 he and Utahraptor were a couple in college.]
** Also, did he mention that he and Dromiceiomimus had tea... '''[http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=106 and dinosaur sex]'''?
* Milford in ''[[Scary Go Round]]''. "Listen right, when I was on holiday, I met this girl, and got off with her like a hundred times" [https://web.archive.org/web/20191029121726/http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20040906%5C]

== [[Web Original]] ==
* [[Homestar Runner|Strong Bad]].
* Variation with [[The Nostalgia Critic]]. He ''does'' [[Really Get Around]], but he tries to convince us that he's just a normal player when really his love and sex life are both freak shows.

== [[Western Animation]] ==
* Page quote: Zapp Brannigan from ''[[Futurama]]''.
** Although ironically, that quote comes from right after he ''really did'' have sex with a woman. Apparently for the first time, though.
*** Possibly not, from later things he said. However, it's probably very infrequent and she might be the first to leave his bed without being converted to lesbianism. Or perhaps the previous one [[Unsettling Gender Reveal|was a trap]].
{{quote|"We ''are'' certain it's a woman this time, right?"}}
* Master Shake from ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' likes to portray himself as a ladies'... shake, although it is repeatedly [[Lampshade Hanging|lampshaded]] by someone (usually Frylock) pointing out that he doesn't even have genitalia.
* In one episode of ''[[South Park]]'', Cartman claims he's been laid "like, five thousand times."

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[[Category:Comedy Tropes]]
[[Category:Sex Tropes]]
[[Category:This Index Asked You a Question]]
[[Category:Truth and Lies]]