IKEA Erotica: Difference between revisions
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The extreme of '''IKEA Erotica''' is "verbing the noun", in which the scene is given mostly or entirely in subject-verb-object sentences in which the key words could be replaced by anything and you'd have difficulty noticing.
Not to be confused with [http://www.furnitureporn.com/ furniture] [https://web.archive.org/web/20131030120913/http://www.strangehorizons.com/2006/20060213/copley-woods-f.shtml porn]. Or [http://www.cockeyed.com/pranks/ikea_party/ikea01.shtml The IKEA Fancy Dress Dinner Party]. Also not to be confused with a [[Cargo Ship]].
Or [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezwhZC4R-eI&feature=related furniture porn].
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** Well, theoretically optional, but given the rest of the manual's emphasis on the least arousing sex this side of a court-ordered chemical sterilization, you might as well just do it. You're already a sex offender just for agreeing to play the game; just as well hang for a sheep as a lamb.
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* Considering the purposes they're purchased for, it's ''amazing'' just how bad the writing in most English hentai games is when it comes to sex scenes. In most cases, the writers probably either:
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* [[Divi-dead]] [[Up to Eleven|takes it to a whole other level]] with such gems as "shove your eggplant up to my ribcage!", and the hero always, always, '''always''' finishes with '''"I'm BLASTING!"'''
* It can probably be explained mostly with poor translation job by people who had little to no actual experience, since those games were originally in Japanese.
** Sometimes even when the translation is good, it's often too clinical, and marred with [[Unsound Effect|strange sound effects]].
* Used to [[Tropes Are Not Bad|great effect]] in [[Katawa Shoujo]] whenever a sex scene is supposed to be awkward.
== Web Originals ==
* [http://i412.photobucket.com/albums/pp210/notdazzled/fail-owned-nut-ad-fail.jpg This sign]{{Dead link}}, as documented on the Fail Blog.
** Text reads ''"not without a washer!"'' in Portuguese, by the way.
* The [[Porn Without Plot]] of certain fixations and fetishes can turn into matherotica, when the author decides that the best way to spark the reader's libido is by rattling off measurements. A blend of IKEA Erotica and a failure to [[Show, Don't Tell]], it misunderstands the thrill of the impossible which fuels these fantasies as "her breasts had become even bigger and heavier, growing five pounds and a full two inches in diameter in the course of one day, making her a 62FF."
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* In [[Atop the Fourth Wall|Linkara]]'s review of ''The New Guardians #1'':
{{quote|'''Linkara''': "Considering your team's mission statement is only about procreation, you really don't need to know all that much. Insert A into B, repeat as needed."}}
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20130311215243/http://askikeapony.tumblr.com/post/15996463518/granted-i-wore-my-tail-a-little-differently-back Literal IKEA Erotica].
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