Nazi Germany: Difference between revisions

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* ''[[The Great Dictator|Adolf Hitler]]'': Der Führer. [[Adolf Hitler|Has his own page.]]
* ''[[The Great Dictator|Adolf Hitler]]'': Der Führer. [[Adolf Hitler|Has his own page.]]
* ''[[The Brute|Ernst]] [[Hard Gay|Röhm]]'': Leader of the SA (Sturmabteilung), known as the Brownshirts and a key assistant in Hitler's takeover. He was big and [[Fat Bastard|fat]], a tough ex-military man who [[Depraved Homosexual|liked young boys]]. To remove a potential rival (or because he was plotting against him, as has been claimed), Hitler personally arrested him and had him executed in the Night of the Long Knives, along with much of the SA leadership.
* ''[[The Brute|Ernst]] [[Hard Gay|Röhm]]'': Leader of the SA (Sturmabteilung), known as the Brownshirts and a key assistant in Hitler's takeover. He was big and [[Fat Bastard|fat]], a tough ex-military man who [[Depraved Homosexual|liked young boys]]. To remove a potential rival (or because he was plotting against him, as has been claimed), Hitler personally arrested him and had him executed in the Night of the Long Knives, along with much of the SA leadership.
* ''[[Fat Bastard|Hermann]] [[Upper Class Twit|Göring]]'' (usually rendered "Goering" in English): The Reich Marshal, second-in-command to Hitler, and a former [[World War One]] [[Ace Pilot]] - he personally headed the [[World War Two]] ''Luftwaffe'' (German air force). He was something of a [[The Fighting Narcissist|fighting narcissist]] in his youth, and at the time he was considered handsome and was successful with the ladies. In later years, Göring was known for growing morbidly overweight and debauched; he owned several palaces where he lived like a Roman Emperor, was addicted to alcohol and heroin, and had many younger mistresses alongside his wives. In addition to piling on the pounds, Göring piled on title after title: along with Reichsmarschall and C-in-C of the ''Luftwaffe'', he was President of the Reichstag, President of the Prussian Council, director of the Four-Year-Plan (largely putting him in control of the economy until Speer took over in 1942), Reich Master of the Forest and Hunt, and countless other offices. He had a sadistic sense of humor (usually directed at Jews) and was the original founder of the [[Secret Police|Gestapo]]. Because of the complete failure of the Luftwaffe pilots in the Battle of Britain, he was gradually [[Kicked Upstairs]] for his incompetence after 1940. His political career ended with a bang when Hitler stripped him of his power at the end of the war after sending a telegram asking to take command of the Reich. Arrested by the Allies after the German surrender, he was sentenced to death at Nuremberg, but took a [[Cyanide Pill]] (which he [[Ass Shove|stored in his anus]]) the night before his execution. He was diagnosed as [[The Sociopath|a sociopath]] during the Nuremberg Trials, in contrast to most other Nazis who were mentally sound. Rumor has it that Sweden was spared from occupation (when neighboring states came under German military occupation) because his late wife was a Swede.<ref>Others claim that Sweden was spared because they had the chance to "willingly" bend over when the Third Rich told them to. The fact that they did just that is quite the sore topic even now.</ref>
* ''[[Fat Bastard|Hermann]] [[Upper Class Twit|Göring]]'' (usually rendered "Goering" in English): The Reich Marshal, second-in-command to Hitler, and a former [[World War I]] [[Ace Pilot]] - he personally headed the [[World War Two]] ''Luftwaffe'' (German air force). He was something of a [[The Fighting Narcissist|fighting narcissist]] in his youth, and at the time he was considered handsome and was successful with the ladies. In later years, Göring was known for growing morbidly overweight and debauched; he owned several palaces where he lived like a Roman Emperor, was addicted to alcohol and heroin, and had many younger mistresses alongside his wives. In addition to piling on the pounds, Göring piled on title after title: along with Reichsmarschall and C-in-C of the ''Luftwaffe'', he was President of the Reichstag, President of the Prussian Council, director of the Four-Year-Plan (largely putting him in control of the economy until Speer took over in 1942), Reich Master of the Forest and Hunt, and countless other offices. He had a sadistic sense of humor (usually directed at Jews) and was the original founder of the [[Secret Police|Gestapo]]. Because of the complete failure of the Luftwaffe pilots in the Battle of Britain, he was gradually [[Kicked Upstairs]] for his incompetence after 1940. His political career ended with a bang when Hitler stripped him of his power at the end of the war after sending a telegram asking to take command of the Reich. Arrested by the Allies after the German surrender, he was sentenced to death at Nuremberg, but took a [[Cyanide Pill]] (which he [[Ass Shove|stored in his anus]]) the night before his execution. He was diagnosed as [[The Sociopath|a sociopath]] during the Nuremberg Trials, in contrast to most other Nazis who were mentally sound. Rumor has it that Sweden was spared from occupation (when neighboring states came under German military occupation) because his late wife was a Swede.<ref>Others claim that Sweden was spared because they had the chance to "willingly" bend over when the Third Rich told them to. The fact that they did just that is quite the sore topic even now.</ref>
** During his youth, Göring's mother said that he would "grow up to be a great man or a great criminal".
** During his youth, Göring's mother said that he would "grow up to be a great man or a great criminal".
** Göring's half-brother Albert (who was also likely half-Jewish) [[Cain and Abel|opposed Nazi ideals and was in the German Resistance]]. He was also the [[wikipedia:Albert Goring|very definition]] of [[Crazy Awesome]] for the ways he helped Jews and dissidents, banking on his family connections. Goering was furious over it, but protected him nonetheless.
** Göring's half-brother Albert (who was also likely half-Jewish) [[Cain and Abel|opposed Nazi ideals and was in the German Resistance]]. He was also the [[wikipedia:Albert Goring|very definition]] of [[Crazy Awesome]] for the ways he helped Jews and dissidents, banking on his family connections. Goering was furious over it, but protected him nonetheless.
** Göring claimed just before the war that the Ruhr Metropolitan Area (Germany's industrial center) would not be hit by a single bomb; if it did, he would change his name to Meier (saying you want "to be called Meier" is a German idiom to express that something is impossible) and also that he would eat his hat. After the United States entered the war, however, the Allies started attacking German cities with thousands of bombers that the ''Luftwaffe'' became increasingly unable to counter-attack. Göring made frequent tours of the devastated cities, where cynical civilians would call out "Hello, Mr. Meier! How's your hat?"
** Göring claimed just before the war that the Ruhr Metropolitan Area (Germany's industrial center) would not be hit by a single bomb; if it did, he would change his name to Meier (saying you want "to be called Meier" is a German idiom to express that something is impossible) and also that he would eat his hat. After the United States entered the war, however, the Allies started attacking German cities with thousands of bombers that the ''Luftwaffe'' became increasingly unable to counter-attack. Göring made frequent tours of the devastated cities, where cynical civilians would call out "Hello, Mr. Meier! How's your hat?"
** Göring, being the head of the Luftwaffe that was the most visible manifestation of the Nazis to the British population due to the Blitz, was the major target of British propaganda and satire during the war. This concentrated mockery was so effective that Göring often remains thought of as a slapdash, incompetent [[Fat Bastard]] who couldn't tie his own shoelaces even today—it's often forgotten that prior to this propaganda offensive, he was widely feared as a dashing [[World War I|war hero]] and thought of as a strategic genius.
** Göring, being the head of the Luftwaffe that was the most visible manifestation of the Nazis to the British population due to the Blitz, was the major target of British propaganda and satire during the war. This concentrated mockery was so effective that Göring often remains thought of as a slapdash, incompetent [[Fat Bastard]] who couldn't tie his own shoelaces even today—it's often forgotten that prior to this propaganda offensive, he was widely feared as a dashing [[World War I|war hero]] and thought of as a strategic genius.
* ''[[Josef Goebbels]]'': Minister of Media and Public Enlightenment, he basically invented modern propaganda. The original spin-doctor, Goebbels was fanatically devoted to Hitler and was ultimately appointed his successor as head of government. He was obsessed with the "Aryan race" and envied them, since he was a short black-haired man who was unable to fight on the front lines as a youth because of his limp. He compensated for this with his charisma, and after the Nazis lost in the Soviet Union, he whipped up their supporters at home into a frenzy, ensuring that they continued fighting against overwhelming odds. Goebbels was known for his slick and charming personality (he dated several film stars), and for being among the few intellectuals in the Nazi Party (Alfred Rosenberg (see below) was another). He was also a [[Family Values Villain|devoted family man and model father]].<ref>He did cheat on his wife with an actress and used his happy healthy kids as evidence that disabled children should be euthanized.</ref> After Hitler committed suicide in 1945, Goebbels succeeded him as Chancellor of Germany and reigned for thirty hours before he shot his wife and then himself. His wife had previously [[Offing the Offspring|killed their six children]], as they had agreed, despite several offers (including from Albert Speer) to take them to safety in the west beforehand.
* ''[[Joseph Goebbels]]'': Minister of Media and Public Enlightenment, he basically invented modern propaganda. The original spin-doctor, Goebbels was fanatically devoted to Hitler and was ultimately appointed his successor as head of government. He was obsessed with the "Aryan race" and envied them, since he was a short black-haired man who was unable to fight on the front lines as a youth because of his limp. He compensated for this with his charisma, and after the Nazis lost in the Soviet Union, he whipped up their supporters at home into a frenzy, ensuring that they continued fighting against overwhelming odds. Goebbels was known for his slick and charming personality (he dated several film stars), and for being among the few intellectuals in the Nazi Party (Alfred Rosenberg (see below) was another). He was also a [[Family Values Villain|devoted family man and model father]].<ref>He did cheat on his wife with an actress and used his happy healthy kids as evidence that disabled children should be euthanized.</ref> After Hitler committed suicide in 1945, Goebbels succeeded him as Chancellor of Germany and reigned for thirty hours before he shot his wife and then himself. His wife had previously [[Offing the Offspring|killed their six children]], as they had agreed, despite several offers (including from Albert Speer) to take them to safety in the west beforehand.
** Of all the speeches he gave during his career, Goebbels' most famous one was the Sportpalast Speech. It was given on February 18, 1943, three weeks after the defeat in Stalingrad. This speech was the first acknowledgement by the Nazi leadership that Germany was facing serious problems on all fronts. Perhaps the most infamous bit about his speech was that the audience was carefully selected according to loyalty to Nazi ideology, giving it even greater impact.
** Of all the speeches he gave during his career, Goebbels' most famous one was the Sportpalast Speech. It was given on February 18, 1943, three weeks after the defeat in Stalingrad. This speech was the first acknowledgement by the Nazi leadership that Germany was facing serious problems on all fronts. Perhaps the most infamous bit about his speech was that the audience was carefully selected according to loyalty to Nazi ideology, giving it even greater impact.
* [[Evil Chancellor|Heinrich Himmler]]: Reichsführer of the SS and second-in-command to Hitler, he controlled the concentration camps, Gestapo, and the [[State Sec|SS (Schutzstaffel)]]. Hitler considered him his most loyal and competent henchman, and Himmler's decision to negotiate (unsuccessfully) with the Allies was one of the things that drove Hitler to consider suicide. One of the younger Nazis, he started out as a [[From Nobody to Nightmare|nerdy chicken breeder]] who carried the swastika flag during rallies. He has always been somewhat of a paradox for both historians and psychologists; despite damning millions to the gas chambers, and planning the further butchery and enslavement of tens if not hundreds of millions, Himmler hated the sight of blood - he repeatedly forced himself to watch recordings of the massacres he had ordered, and fainted in horror. However, despite this personal disgust for the realities of what he was ordering, he remained the key player of many of Nazi Germany's most evil crimes, in particular the Holocaust, painting the mass murders as "heroic" and "necessary" actions that would prove the heroism of the SS. Creepily enough, Himmler looked more like an amiable nerd than the head of the most terrifying armed forces in history. Captured in 1945, he killed himself before he could be questioned (an event witnessed firsthand by famed British cartoonist Carl Giles and Dutch comedian Rijk de Gooijer).
* [[Evil Chancellor|Heinrich Himmler]]: Reichsführer of the SS and second-in-command to Hitler, he controlled the concentration camps, Gestapo, and the [[State Sec|SS (Schutzstaffel)]]. Hitler considered him his most loyal and competent henchman, and Himmler's decision to negotiate (unsuccessfully) with the Allies was one of the things that drove Hitler to consider suicide. One of the younger Nazis, he started out as a [[From Nobody to Nightmare|nerdy chicken breeder]] who carried the swastika flag during rallies. He has always been somewhat of a paradox for both historians and psychologists; despite damning millions to the gas chambers, and planning the further butchery and enslavement of tens if not hundreds of millions, Himmler hated the sight of blood - he repeatedly forced himself to watch recordings of the massacres he had ordered, and fainted in horror. However, despite this personal disgust for the realities of what he was ordering, he remained the key player of many of Nazi Germany's most evil crimes, in particular the Holocaust, painting the mass murders as "heroic" and "necessary" actions that would prove the heroism of the SS. Creepily enough, Himmler looked more like an amiable nerd than the head of the most terrifying armed forces in history. Captured in 1945, he killed himself before he could be questioned (an event witnessed firsthand by famed British cartoonist Carl Giles and Dutch comedian Rijk de Gooijer).
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