Nightmare Fetishist/Quotes

Love is a simple thing,

Love is a poison ring,

Shiny as a lizard's tongue,

Quiet as a man who's hung,

Love is so great and grand,

Soft as a mummy's hand,

Love is the raven's croak,

Sweet as the poison oak,

Brighter than a coffin nail,

Gay as a widow's wail.

Love makes an old heart stop.

Love is the mating call,

When you've sealed him in the wall,

Love is a simple thing.
—"Love is a Simple Thing," Charles Addams Homage verse

I'm afraid I don't see things like you do. I mean it: I'm afraid. What if the things I find beautiful drive you mad? What if they hollow you out like clever little squirrels getting nuts for the winter, except the nuts are your eyes, and winter is, I don't know, maybe the Rapture or something? And I'm just smiling while your face gets ripped apart because I think it's beautiful? These things worry me sometimes, when I'm not looking at the night sky. So I spend a lot of time looking at the night sky, and not looking at your face and thinking about squirrels.

—Genius: The Transgression

Cheryl: Pam, you read me like a poem.

Pam: How's that poem gonna read when Cyril finally snaps and murders you?

Cheryl: I dunno, "World's Gushiest Orgasm?"

—Archer

Sgt Donovan: Are these *human* eyes?

Sherlock: Put those back!

Sgt Donovan: They were in the microwave.

Sherlock: It's an experiment.

—Sherlock

My favorite dreams are nightmares.

—Unknown

I like nightmares waking up in a cold cold sweat

I like nightmares making hair stand up on my neck

My heart is pumping

I'm runnin' for my life

I'm scared to death and yet...

—"I Like Nightmares", from Spooky Music

When I know there's going to be violence involved, I always, always make sure I have a bottle of lubricant and some paper towel on hand.

—Ralph The Inner Serial Killer from That Guy With the Glasses