Oh God, Not Again/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


The story is a parody of Peggy Sues in which Harry quickly lampshades everything weird about the story and has a blast doing it. Of course it's going to have more Funny moments than can be listed.

  • Any time Harry brings up his " psychic" scar. Any time/
  • Chapter 15 is full of these moments. For instance Luna trying to convince Hermione to subscribe to the Quibbler when Harry walks in on them.

"I wouldn't bother with her just yet, Luna," Harry told her. "She's just not ready."
Immediately, Luna's expression became much more somber. "I am so sorry," she said sincerely.
"What do you mean you're sorry? For what? And what am I not ready for?" Hermione demanded, looking a bit affronted.

    • Earlier in said chapter it's mentioned that due to the writing of the Chamber of Secrets everyone has been trying to check out the two copies of Hogwarts a History. Hermione questions how Luna knew she didn't believe in the Great Pumpkin and Luna says she overheard her talking about it in the Library.

"What were you doing in the library?" Hermione asked, uncertain she wanted to know.
"Checking out two copies of Hogwarts: A History," Luna replied brightly.
Harry laughed. "I love you Luna, I really do."

  • Sirius as a teacher. Also, his plan for dealing with Snape: Leave him alone until the paranoia builds, then start pranking him. Which he does. By changing his appearance on a regular basis.
  • Sirius and Harry teasing Remus about Tonks' attraction to him. When Remus, confused, asks if Sirius is going to threaten him about breaking her heart, Sirius merely says that she's going through Auror training, then adds this gem.

And I'm sure she could castrate you far better than I ever could.

  • In chapter 17, Lee Jordan and McGonagall do commentary at a Quidditch game.

McGonagall: Jordan. Do try and pretend to be impartial.
Jordan: But Professor, I didn't even insult those dirty, rotten-
McGonagall: Not insulting is not the same as being impartial. Honestly, it's time like these that I wonder why I don't have a commentator from every house so that I can always be sure to have someone on hand without a personal interest in the match.
Jordan: You know you'd miss me.

  • During the Death Eater attack after the Quidditch World Cup:

Draco: Hadn't you better be hurrying along now before they spot you?
Harry: Are you saying that they're going to be able to 'tell' that Hermione's Muggleborn and so she's in danger?
Draco: Don't be silly. It's dark, they're drunk, they probably don't know who she is anyway, and nothing about her really screams out 'Muggleborn' until she starts talking. I was more referring to the fact that they'll probably not be opposed to attacking you, given they blame you for the Dark Lord's downfall.
Harry: Oh. That's thoughtful.

Harry: So what are we going to do this summer, Sirius?
Sirius: The same thing we do every summer, Harry.
Harry: Try to take over the world?
Remus: Yeah, that settles it: you two are not allowed to be left alone together.

  • When Neville confronts a boggart, it takes on the form of Harry as Minister of Magic.

Boggart Harry: You know, Monday is probably the most depressing day ever, let's cancel it. And what's this nonsense about not being able to own a dragon in Britain? I say we give one to anyone with a license. Oh! And we can add a dragon tax to the Pureblood tax! And how did the ghost community respond to my decree to allow Sir Nicholas into the Headless Hunt?

    • And Harry's Reaction to all this? He'd never thought of being Minister before and now wants to run for Minister of Magic and thanks Neville for the idea.
  • The very title of the story had me in stitches.
  • And then there's how Herminione defeats a boggart McGonagall telling her she failed her classes by making it speak in rhyming verse:

Boggart McGonagall: Miss Granger, I just don't know what to say
You've failed everything and that is the truth
Now you must leave Hogwarts at once today
Education is wasted on you youth
You're a disappointment and a disgrace
No one's ever failed everything before
How dare you even stay and show your face
Foolish girl, hurry and run out the door
Honestly, you're better off a Muggle
Of course you are clearly so very dim
That even that will end up a struggle
I'm telling you now your future is grim
This is really for your own good, my dear
That I'm now throwing you out on your rear.

    • Dude, that's not just rhyming verse, that's a SONNET.
  • When Hermione asks why Harry is deliberately trying to lose the House Cup, he explains:

Harry: I believe that the House Cup is a school-wide conspiracy to try and spawn as many teacher's pets as they can and encourage teacher's pet-like behavior in everyone. Snape and I are doing all we can, but we can't lose Gryffindor the House Cup alone!
Hermione: You have problems.

  • Chapter Fourteen. All of it.
  • Harry, upon meeting Cedric for the first time, advises him that if he is ever suddenly transported via portkey to a graveyard, to grab the portkey again and/ or run like hell. When the "fourth book" timeline really kicks into gear, every time Harry sees or speaks to Cedric, he prompts him. Soon, the conversations go like this:

Harry: "Graveyard."
Cedric: (without batting an eye or thinking) "Run like Hell."

Harry: How does it feel to have your father deciding that winning an amateur Quidditch Match is going to be your greatest achievement in life?
Cedric: Fantastic. I imagine it's almost as nice as having everyone decide that your greatest achievement will be making it to your second birthday, something everyone else has managed just fine without getting famous.

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