View source for Once Killed a Man with A Noodle Implement

{{trope}}
"[[Improbable Weapon User|This trope]] once killed a man with a pair of galoshes."

"[[Musical Assassin|This trope]] once killed a man with a harmonica."

"[[Lethal Chef|This trope]] once killed a man with a bowl of chicken soup!"

"[[Martial Arts and Crafts|This trope]] once killed a man with a bottle of Elmer's and some construction paper!"

"Yeah? Well ''this'' trope once killed a man...'''''[[Noodle Implements|with a noodle!]]'''''"

Few things can establish one's [[Badass]] cred quite like [[A Real Man Is a Killer|claiming to have killed someone]] with something ''no one'' would think of as a weapon of any sort, let alone a lethal one.

Compare [[Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon]] and [[Improvised Weapon]].

A [[Badass|Badass Trope]]. Can also be a [[Stock Phrase]].

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{{examples}}
== [[Anime]] and [[Manga]] ==
* Used in the English dub of ''[[Axis Powers Hetalia]]'', when Germany is angry with Italy for sleeping late.
{{quote|'''Germany:''' I once killed a man using a grape and his own mustache.}}
* Dabura in "[[Dragonball Z]]" can turn people to stone with his spit then smashing them.
* Lina's sister Luna Inverse from ''[[The Slayers]]'' is often said to have slain a dragon with a butter knife.
* Any of the [[Paper Master]]s in ''[[Read or Die]]'' can kill you with a papercut. Only one of them actually does, though.

== [[Comic Books]] ==
* Being both an [[Improbable Weapon User]] and a [[Psycho for Hire]], [[Daredevil|Bullseye]] has used pretty much every weapon available, including toothpicks and his own teeth.
{{quote|'''Bullseye''': ''They keep me on a liquid diet and stool softeners because they're afraid if I have a solid bowel movement I'd kill someone with it. And I would, too. Just to say I did it.''}}
* Actually happens in Michael Fleisher's [[In Name Only]] sequel to ''Harlem Heroes'' when Slice kills a man by throwing his ID card at his throat.
* One ''[[Punisher]]'' mook is called Ink because he killed a man with a pen. [[Eye Scream|Subverted in that they describe, in great detail, how it happened]].

== [[Fan Works]] ==
* In a [[Confessional|confession]] made to [[Ah! My Goddess|the Norns]], Doug Sangnoir of ''[[Drunkard's Walk]]'' mentions that he "slaughtered seventeen of [[The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension|Hanoi Xan]]'s minions with a Gurkha kukri and a pair of chopsticks..."

== [[Film]] ==
* In ''[[The Chronicles of Riddick (film)|The Chronicles of Riddick]]'', upon coming across several guys menacing his friend Kyra, Riddick threatens to kill the ringleader with a teacup. [[Not Hyperbole|And he does it.]] As the dead guy's friends stare in disbelief, he takes out a ''sardine can key'', and sets it, slowly and meaningfully, on a nearby rock, then gives them a look that clearly says, "Who's next?"
* The two [[Jerkass]] agents in ''[[Get Smart]]'' once threatened this.
{{quote|'''Agent #1''': You know, I can kill you with anything in this room. You wanna die by Post-It notes?
'''Agent #2''': And that's a ''slow'' death. }}
* In ''[[The Glimmer Man]]'', [[Steven Seagal]]'s character kills a man with a credit card.
* The protagonist of ''[[Grosse Pointe Blank]]'' once killed the President of Paraguay with a fork.
* In ''[[Ratatouille]]'', one of the chefs at Gusteau's is said to have served time in prison, but [[Multiple Choice Past|he never tells the same story about why he went to jail twice]]. One of his claims is that he "killed a man...with ''this thumb!''"; we never know for sure, but simply showing ''that thumb'' to Skinner is enough to scare him off.
* [[John Wick]] killing "three men in a bar... with a pencil, with a fucking pencil" is one of the iconic lines of the franchise. In the second film he is shown killing someone with one.

== [[Literature]] ==
* In the literary chronicle by Truman Capote, ''In Cold Blood'', Dick Hyckock decided to ask Perry Smith to help him with his "hit" because Perry told him that once he killed a black man by hitting him with a bicycle chain, "[[For the Evulz|just for fun]]".

== [[Live-Action TV]] ==
* ''[[3rd Rock from the Sun]]'': "I should warn you that I have killed men with everything from a steak knife, to a penny dropped from a skyscraper!"
* In the first episode of ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'', Buffy mentions having once killed a vampire using only an exacto knife.
** She also uses a pencil once, somewhere along the line.
** And this bit from ''[[Angel]]'':
{{quote|'''Spike:''' I had a wee spat with a werewolf myself once. Fought for over an hour. Brutal, vicious. Almost lost my -
'''Fred:''' Angel killed him with a ''pen''. }}
* ''[[Leverage]]'' has Elliot describe a fellow hitter doing this. Elliot himself has also killed a man with an appetizer and another with a ''nerf sword''.
{{quote|'''Eliot Spencer''': She'd mop the floor with you, Hardison
'''Alec Hardison''': I don't care.
'''Eliot Spencer''': Seriously, she actually killed a guy once with a mop. It's a funny story, actually. She broke the mop and took...  }}
* On ''[[NCIS]]'', Ziva David boasted that she can kill a man with a paperclip. And from the episode "Jet Lag":
{{quote|'''Ziva David:''' And plastic silverware is not as safe as you may think. I once killed a man with a credit card.}}
** In the same episode, she also states earphone cables could serve as a garrotte.
*** There's no way, the cables snaps before you can get enough pressure to cut off air.
* In ''[[Xena: Warrior Princess]]'', assassin Sinteres is said to be deadly with any weapon. King of Thieves Autolycus, posing as Sinteres, has to demonstrate this by killing a man with a thrown toothpick {{spoiler|although Xena's use of a grappling hook helped}}.

== [[Newspaper Comics]] ==
* ''[[The Boondocks]]'' episode "Granddad's Fight":
{{quote|'''Uncle Ruckus:''' [[Jean-Claude Van Damme]]'s the best martial artist in the world. He killed a man with his butt cheek power.}}
* In an early ''[[Dilbert]]'' strip, Dilbert unintentionally killed the president of his company with an ''ear of corn'' when the other guy started a food fight. Dilbert apparently threw the corn hard enough to knock him out and he drowned in his soup. Later in jail, Dilbert's burly cellmate asks him why he's stuck there. Dilbert tells him that he killed a man with an ear of corn after being provoked. Cue the cellmate's [[Oh Crap]] expression when they get ''corn on the cob'' for lunch.

== [[Oral Tradition]] ==
* Balor from [[Celtic Mythology]] could kill people just by looking at them with his dreaded Eye.
* Many [[Chuck Norris Facts]].
{{quote|There are 1,214 objects in an average room that [[Chuck Norris]] can kill you with, including the room itself.}}

== [[Tabletop Games]] ==
* ''[[In Nomine]]''<nowiki>'</nowiki>s Malakim of Creation are designed to do this, with their ability to turn ''anything'' into a weapon. "Greeting Cards of Doom" is a common phrase on the publisher's forum for the game.

== [[Video Games]] ==
* ''[[Dwarf Fortress]]'': Someone once killed a bronze colossus by throwing a fluffy wambler at its head.
* In ''[[Half-Life 2]]: Episode 2'', a Rebel-in-Training at the White Forest Base ([[Fan Nickname|also called the AR3 Guy]]) first claims to have used AR3s (which don't exist), then claims to have killed Hunters (alien tripod cyborgs that are rather deadly) "with his own hands."
* [[Badass Labcoat|Professor Mordin]] from ''[[Mass Effect 2]]'' once killed somebody with "farming equipment."
** Later revealed, according to the Shadow Broker's file on him, to be a pitchfork through a '''''[[Foe-Tossing Charge|charging]]''''' [[Proud Warrior Race Guy|Krogan]]'s [[Eye Scream|eye]].

== [[Web Animation]] ==
* ''[[Red vs. Blue]]'': Church relates how Tex once beat a man to death with his own skull.
{{quote|'''Tucker:''' How do you beat someone to death with their own skull? [[How Is That Even Possible?|That doesn't seem physically possible]].
'''Church:''' That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.
'''Flashback!Jimmy:''' [[Share Phrase|This doesn't seem physically possible!]] }}

== [[Web Comics]] ==
* Azrael from the webcomic ''[[Life and Death]]'' once killed Cthulhu with a gopher and a damp sponge.

== [[Western Animation]] ==
* In ''[[Dan Vs.]]'' "The Salvation Armed Forces," Dan tells his friend Chris that the bell ringer knows twelve ways to kill a man with a bell. Chris thinks about it, but can only come up with one.
* ''[[Futurama]]'': Roberto to Bender: "You ever killed a man with a sock? It ain't so hard..."
* ''[[The Venture Brothers]]'': Rusty Venture once killed a man with a housekey. His father forced him to. He was ten.
{{quote|'''Dean''': Oh, that's Brock. He's my dad's bodyguard. One time, I saw him kill a guy with a sock full of party snaps!
'''Triana''': Did the guy's head get blown off?
'''Dean''': Yes it did}}

== [[Real Life]] ==
* An elderly woman repelled two robbers (who were carrying axes) by [[Handbag of Hurt|whacking them with her handbag]].

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[[Category:Absurdity Ascendant]]
[[Category:Weapons and Wielding Tropes]]
[[Category:Badass]]
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