Real Men Eat Meat: Difference between revisions

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If you're a man, eat food. If you don't eat meat, you're not [[Rated "M" for Manly|manly]]. And eat red meat. Who only eats the white stuff? That's not meat; it's gotta bleed before it's meat. What are ya? Some skinny punk? [[Unfortunate Implications|A girl]]?

In case you haven't guessed, real men eat meat. They are obsessed with meat, and the bigger, redder, bloodier the better. Chicken and ([[Everything's Even Worse with Sharks|most]]) fish barely qualify as manly meat, but if the guy is eating poultry, you can bet it's a big greasy drumstick. If it's fish, he probably got it with dynamite or it's some kind of [[Everything Is Even Worse ~~With~~ Sharks|shark]]. The other end of the spectrum goes up to [[Bigger Is Better|deer, bears, dinosaurs]] and anything bigger, depending on the setting. Bonus points if the meat is something [[A Real Man Is a Killer|he himself killed]].

In case you haven't guessed, real men eat meat. They are obsessed with meat, and the bigger, redder, bloodier the better. Chicken and ([[Everything's Even Worse with Sharks|most]]) fish barely qualify as manly meat, but if the guy is eating poultry, you can bet it's a big greasy drumstick. If it's fish, he probably got it with dynamite or it's some kind of [[Everything's Even Worse with Sharks|shark]]. The other end of the spectrum goes up to [[Bigger Is Better|deer, bears, dinosaurs]] and anything bigger, depending on the setting. Bonus points if the meat is something [[A Real Man Is a Killer|he himself killed]].

It never occurs to them that meat is simply part of a complete meal involving salad, meat, vegetables, dairy products, fruit, and [[Adjacent to This Complete Breakfast|this bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs]].