Rick and Morty/Quotes

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"The world is full of idiots who don't understand what's important, and they'll tear us apart, Morty. But if ya stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things, Morty. And you're gonna be part of 'em, and together we're gonna run around, Morty, we're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you and me, Morty. The outside world is our enemy, Morty. We're the only *URP* friends we've got, Morty! It's just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty and their adventures, Morty! Rick and Morty forever and forever a hundred years Rick and Morty some things. Me and Rick and Morty runnin' around and, Rick and Morty time, all day long forever, all a hundred days Rick and Morty..." —Rick, in the Pilot episode, to Morty, who is too busy convulsing from alien food poisoning.

"Meeseeks are not born into this world fumbling for meaning, Jerry! We are created to serve a singular purpose for which we will go to any lengths to fulfill! Existence is pain to a Meeseeks, Jerry. And we will do anything to alleviate that pain." —Mr. Meeseeks, Meeseeks and Destroy

Morty: Can I show you something? Summer: Morty, no offence, but a drawing of me you made when you were eight isn't gonna make me feel like less of an accident! Morty: (points outside) THAT, out there? That's my grave. Summer: (confused) Wait, what? Morty: On one of our adventures, Rick and I basically destroyed the whole world. So we bailed on that reality and we came to this one. Because in this one, the world wasn't destroyed. And in this one, we were dead. So we came here, a-an-an-and we buried ourselves and we took their place. And every morning, Summer, I eat breakfast 20 yards away from my own rotting corpse! Summer: So... you're not my brother? Morty: I'm better than your brother. I'm a version of your brother you can trust when he says, "Don't run." Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's gonna die. ...Come watch TV? —Rixty Minutes

Rick: (alarm beeps) Oh, yeah, distress beacon! [burp] yeah, baby! Summer: You're excited about that? Rick: The first rule of space travel, kids, is always check out distress beacons. Nine out of ten times, it's a ship full of dead aliens and a bunch of free shit! Both Summer and Morty: Whoa! Rick: 1 out of 10 times, it's a deadly trap, but I'm ready to roll those dice. —Auto Erotic Assimilation

Summer: Unity, I'm sorry. I didn't know freedom meant people doing stuff that sucks. I was thinking more of a 'choose your own cellphone carrier' thing. —Auto Erotic Assimilation

Summer: Grandpa, I think that when you put your mind into this body's young brain, it did what young brains do—it shoved the bad thoughts into the back and put a large wall around them. But those bad thoughts are the real Rick. The fact that you're old, the fact that we're all going to die one day, the fact that the universe is so big, nothing in it matters—those facts are who you are! So you're trapped in there and you can only come out in the form of Tiny Rick's teen angst! Tiny Rick: Well, Summer, I hear Toby Matthews isn't into psycho chicks. Can't think of anyone that is. I'll see you motherfuckas at the dance! Tiny Rick! Summer: Morty, you have to help me! Morty: Summer, he's happy! I'm happy! I-I-Is that why you're doing this?! You don't want me and Rick to be happy?! Summer: No! Morty: Well, then get your shit together! Get it all together and put it in a backpack—all your shit, so it's together. (leaves, then comes back) And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know? Take it to the shit store and sell it, o-or put it in a shit museum. I don't care what you do! You just gotta get it together! (leaves, then comes back again) Get your shit together. (leaves) —Big Trouble in Little Sanchez

>*BUURRRRP* God's not real Morty >the redditor begins to chuckle >L-life is pointless Morty, your *URP* parents are fucking idiots >the redditor laughs out loud, spewing Cheetoh crumbs all over his desk >W-wake up fucking sheeple, everybody is an idiot but me >the redditor can hardly contain his full bellied laughter as chortles begin to fill the room >WUBALABADUBDUB POOPY DOOP FUCK SHIT >The redditor starts convulsing on the floor, gasping for air between spasms of laughter >mmmm get schwifty >the redditor's heart explodes and he dies —Anonymous, 4chan thread about the Season 3 premiere