Safe Word: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}}
{{quote|''My safeword is 'OW!'''
|'''T-shirt slogan'''}}
Sometimes a word that really means "No" is needed, but the actual word "no" isn't available for one reason or another. A "safe word" can be aimed at the person who interacts with you, to underscore that you really need to hit the emergency brake. Or it could be meant for a third party that might come to your aid. Or both. This is especially true in [[BDSM]], where a sub's sobs and pleas for mercy are often meant to convey that they ''do not'' want the dom to stop.
In the American
Of course, any word can be used as a safe word. And the concept is not limited to sexual situations either. Commonly used by undercover operatives of all kinds while wearing a wire or being in a bugged room.
When [[Played for Drama]], (sub)cultural flavor or similar, the safe word is likely to be either "red" or some other simple word that isn't easily used by mistake. When [[Played for Laughs]], it is instead likely to be:
# Something [[A Rare Sentence| unlikely to be said in casual conversation.]]
# Something hilariously unsexy, such as the name of an [[Acceptable Targets|Ugly Politician Local to Area Where Writer Lives]].
# Something which can be confused easily with something else, leading to [[Hilarity Ensues|hilarious consequences]] when the safe word is invoked by mistake.
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Compare [[Safe, Sane, and Consensual]]. Contrast [[Trust Password]].
{{examples}}
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* Indirect in ''[[City of Dreams]]'': Those who don't want to play anymore simply wake up.
== [[Fan
* A ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' fanfic{{context}} has the safe word "Hellmouth", chosen for its unsexyness.
* A ''[[Harry Potter]]''
* Another ''Harry Potter'' fanfic, called ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7094555/1/ Roll Out The Red Carpet]'', plays with this trope; When Ron and Hermione role-play, they use the phrase "Jam Jar" as a sign to stop (as they acknowledge that, when playing particular roles, "stop" and "no" might just be them acting). They almost get into trouble {{spoiler|when, upon almost getting caught in Hermione's office, Ron doesn't stop what he's doing because she didn't say jam jar and he thought she liked it}}, and it leads to a [[Crowning Moment of Heartwarming]] later on when {{spoiler|Ron uses the safe word to make sure that Hermione's okay with what they're doing, and to check that he's not hurting her too much.}}
== [[Film]] ==
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* In Catt Ford's ''A Strong Hand'', the main couple use the safe words "London" (for stop) and "yellow" (for slow down).
* Appears in ''The Last Hot Time'' by [[John M. Ford]], as the hero learns about BDSM.
* In ''[[Kushiel's Legacy]]'', a safe word is known as a ''signale.'' To persist with BDSM play after a partner has given the ''signale'' is considered heresy according to their religion of "Love as Thou Wilt."
* Played with in ''[[Callahan's Crosstime Saloon|Callahan's Lady]]'' by Spider Robinson. In the Bower at Lady Sally's (a pretty much anything goes orgy room), there's only one safeword: "No".
== [[Live
* ''[[The Office]]'': Michael becomes Jan's partner for a period in the third season, but is unnerved by her many fetishes and fondness for roleplay. But he's too much of a wimp to leave her, even when she "forgets" their safe word. Luckily {{spoiler|he manages to by the end of the episode.}}
* Tracy on ''[[30
* On ''[[CSI: Miami]]'', an undercover agent indirectly causes the death of a woman he was using to collect evidence on a drug dealer when he ignores her (coded) call for help.
* In the original ''[[CSI]]'', Grissom and [[Brains and Bondage|Lady Heather]] are having an academic discussion the concept of the safe word in BSDM context, (in a scene rife with [[Unresolved Sexual Tension]]), specifically the idea that the dominant must respect requests to stop. Several episodes later the discussion receives a dramatic [[Call Back]] - Lady Heather {{spoiler|has caught and chained the man who tortured and killed her daughter and, in a rage, is whipping him bloody}}, and only stops when Grissom invokes the rule and forces her to acknowledge it.
* In one of the first "I'm Carol" sketches on ''[[Saturday Night Live]]'', Carol was at a BDSM party where they went through everybody's safe words twice because Carol couldn't remember what they were. [https://web.archive.org/web/20180102031834/http://snltranscripts.jt.org/04/04gkey.phtml Script here.]
** Another ''SNL'' BDSM sketch, involving Kristin Wiig as politician Nancy Pelosi, ended with the sound of a belt sander as a dude is screaming. She runs off stage yelling the safe word. For the record, it was "Palomino".
* In ''[[White Collar]]'', Neal has to go undercover with minimal surveillance (GPS and audio) to determine whether his target has some stolen bonds. His code for the FBI to move in is "long flight".
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* On ''[[Desperate Housewives]]'' when Rex is teaching Bree the basics of domination, she immediately requests they change the safeword, as it happens to be the city her aunts lives in and doesn't want to think of her aunt during sex.
* Barney and Robin from [[How I Met Your Mother]] use "flugelhorn."
* In one ''[[Law and Order SVU]]'' episode, the detectives interview a woman who sold the [[Victim of the Week]]
* Discussed on ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]''. After Angel saves Xander from Faith raping and killing him he brings up what she was doing. His dubious reply to them just having fun was Xander forgetting the safe word.
== [[Video Games]] ==
* ''[[Saints Row the Third]]'' has a brothel named Safe Word, a club for those with BDSM tastes. Kinzie mentions hers is ''teacup'' and she is quickly spirited away before she can reveal more [[squick]]y bits of information.
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== [[Web Original]] ==
* ''[[I'm a Marvel And I'm a
* In ''[[Tales of MU]]'', Mackenzie's safe word is "basement".
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== [[Real Life]] ==
* Most full
* On shooting ranges, "Cease Fire!" is the universal safeword, meaning that ''everybody'' unloads, disarms, and puts the guns down.
** Unless unloading would be unsafe, in which case the counter-safeword "Loaded!" is used. The range officials will decide when it's safe for the person who calls that to take the shot. ''Then'' that person puts the rifle down.
* Martial Arts that involve grappling and/or partner drill will have usually something along these lines, with "tapping out" being the most common.
* The [[Society for Creative Anachronism]] uses "Hold!" as a global safeword, basically indicating that everyone should freeze.
* When [[Christopher Hitchens]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Efh_6_-tHgY agreed to be waterboarded] for an article in ''Vanity Fair'', he was given not only a safeword ("red"), but two metal objects he could drop as an additional nonvocal signal. {{spoiler|He used it.}}
{{quote|"We're going to place metal objects in each of your hands. These objects are to be released if you experience unbearable stress. As soon as you release one or both, this exercise and demonstration will end immediately."}}
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