Seanbaby/Funny

Seanbaby tells a tale:

"Once, while I was working as a writer for some now-cancelled MTV cartoon, the topic of Phil Collins came up. Another writer at the table asked, 'What does 'Su-Su-Sudio' even mean?' And, as I'd waited for my entire life, I responded with the best Phil Collins joke I've ever written: "That's what a normal song sounds like when you sing it with balls in your mouth."

When he reviewed Custer's Revenge:

Custer: "Gentlemen, you are the bravest squadron of men it has ever been this Southerner's privilege to serve with. And you will need that bravery today, as your orders are to remove my pants and underpants. I will then attempt to force sex on an Indian girl under heavy enemy fire. Are there any questions?"
Custer's Military Adviser: "Yes, general. Several."

Anytime he takes on Gregory J.P. Godek and his awful romantic advice books. This basically sums it up:

Godek's Advice: Pretend you're vacationing foreigners who don't speak English. Have fun asking directions and ordering in restaurants while pretending not to understand English.
Seanbaby: Let me tell you about the hatred I have for Godek. He writes like it's the side effect of a stroke. He is so witless and humorless that 83 of his puns have charged him with rape. When he and his wife get naked, they're more pizza than flesh and that's not even why birds try to kill them. My hate for him is so personal, so vivid... and I earned that sweet hate over the course of a dozen of his fucking dumbass books. So I'm especially pissed off that there's a waiter out there watching him pretend to be a German tourist, and in five seconds he'll hate Godek more than I ever can.