Side Effects Include: Difference between revisions
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* '''"Healthoxine. Because you're worth it."''' The "reminder" commercial alternates shots of flowered meadows, senior citizens, and doctors, all while saying generally positive things about nothing in particular and mentioning the name of the drug. This evades both mentioning the side effects and what the drug actually ''does''. This type is far less common these days; most commercials that still do this are the ones that give you help ''down there'', because, due to social mores, they can't directly name what their product does anyway. Some of these ads tried to skirt the issue by naming another drug indicated for the same thing. |
* '''"Healthoxine. Because you're worth it."''' The "reminder" commercial alternates shots of flowered meadows, senior citizens, and doctors, all while saying generally positive things about nothing in particular and mentioning the name of the drug. This evades both mentioning the side effects and what the drug actually ''does''. This type is far less common these days; most commercials that still do this are the ones that give you help ''down there'', because, due to social mores, they can't directly name what their product does anyway. Some of these ads tried to skirt the issue by naming another drug indicated for the same thing. |
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* '''"Ask your doctor if Happypills are right for you."''' This kind of commercial, seen in some countries, actually does tell you what the pill is for, and then spends the rest of the spot breaking the bad news gently: "If you have seasonal allergies, [[DC Universe|Mxyzptlk]][[The Unpronounceable|acine]]<ref>mix-yes-PIT-lick-uh-seen</ref> may be right for you. Side effects of Mxyzptlkacine are [[Blatant Lies|uncommon]], and include headache, nausea, vomiting, [[Four Is Death|death]], dizziness, [[Red vs. Blue|Vaginal]] [[Squick|ejaculations]], [[Oregon Trail|dysentery]], cardiac arrhythmia, [[The Colbert Report|mild heart explosions]], varicose veins, darkened stool, [[Super-Powered Evil Side|darkened soul]], [[Our Werewolves Are Different|lycanthropy]], [[Perfectly Cromulent Word|trucanthropy]], arteriosclerosis, [[American English|hemorrhoids]], [[Memetic Mutation/Advertising|diabeetus]], [[You Fail Biology Forever|virginity]], [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|mild discomfort]], [[Our Vampires Are Different|vampirism]], [[Gender Bender|gender impermanence]], [[The Office|spontaneous dental hydroplosion]], sugar high, more vomiting, [[Real Is Brown|brown]], [[Your Mom]], and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|mild rash]]." |
* '''"Ask your doctor if Happypills are right for you."''' This kind of commercial, seen in some countries, actually does tell you what the pill is for, and then spends the rest of the spot breaking the bad news gently: "If you have seasonal allergies, [[DC Universe|Mxyzptlk]][[The Unpronounceable|acine]]<ref>mix-yes-PIT-lick-uh-seen</ref> may be right for you. Side effects of Mxyzptlkacine are [[Blatant Lies|uncommon]], and include headache, nausea, vomiting, [[Four Is Death|death]], dizziness, [[Red vs. Blue|Vaginal]] [[Squick|ejaculations]], [[Oregon Trail|dysentery]], cardiac arrhythmia, [[The Colbert Report|mild heart explosions]], varicose veins, darkened stool, [[Super-Powered Evil Side|darkened soul]], [[Our Werewolves Are Different|lycanthropy]], [[Perfectly Cromulent Word|trucanthropy]], arteriosclerosis, [[American English|hemorrhoids]], [[Memetic Mutation/Advertising|diabeetus]], [[You Fail Biology Forever|virginity]], [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|mild discomfort]], [[Our Vampires Are Different|vampirism]], [[Gender Bender|gender impermanence]], [[The Office|spontaneous dental hydroplosion]], sugar high, more vomiting, [[Real Is Brown|brown]], [[Your Mom]], and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|mild rash]]." ...And yet, apparently even after all this, enough people still want to get the drug that the cost of advertising is justified. |
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* '''"Why live with the heartbreak of psoriasis?"''' A newer breed of commercial, the "help seeking" ad doesn't even mention the brand at all. Instead, it poses a public service announcement, explaining that symptoms might not be an inevitable part of growing old. It goes on to offer a pamphlet you can receive -- or starting in the 2000s, a Web site you can visit -- offering information on treatment options for a certain disease... "including a prescription treatment option." This one line is the real reason for the commercial; the pamphlet is an ad for the company's new drug, and the company wants you to read it since, in print, they're still allowed to hide the list of side effects in 8-point type. This kind of ad eventually becomes one for the drug in the pamphlet. |
* '''"Why live with the heartbreak of psoriasis?"''' A newer breed of commercial, the "help seeking" ad doesn't even mention the brand at all. Instead, it poses a public service announcement, explaining that symptoms might not be an inevitable part of growing old. It goes on to offer a pamphlet you can receive -- or starting in the 2000s, a Web site you can visit -- offering information on treatment options for a certain disease... "including a prescription treatment option." This one line is the real reason for the commercial; the pamphlet is an ad for the company's new drug, and the company wants you to read it since, in print, they're still allowed to hide the list of side effects in 8-point type. This kind of ad eventually becomes one for the drug in the pamphlet. |
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{{quote|(Crack may cause shivers, night terrors, gay for pay, heart palpitations, homicidal paranoia, or the sensation that you're on fire. Peeing blood and seeing your friends' faces as talking skeletons are possible side effects of crack. People who use crack may experience 5-7 years in prison where brutal raping may occur. If you experience one or more of these side effects, consult your dealer. You may need more crack.)}} |
{{quote|(Crack may cause shivers, night terrors, gay for pay, heart palpitations, homicidal paranoia, or the sensation that you're on fire. Peeing blood and seeing your friends' faces as talking skeletons are possible side effects of crack. People who use crack may experience 5-7 years in prison where brutal raping may occur. If you experience one or more of these side effects, consult your dealer. You may need more crack.)}} |
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* One Benadryl commercial says "What will you miss when you have an allergy attack?" Probably the same thing you'll miss when you're ''sleeping off that Benadryl'', as one of the side effects is extreme sleepiness. As an interesting note, all "PM" versions of medication, like Tylenol PM and Advil PM, contain Benadryl because of the sleepiness. It is a simple remedy for dogs who are terrified of thunderstorms: the poor dog is too drugged and sleepy to be scared. |
* One Benadryl commercial says "What will you miss when you have an allergy attack?" Probably the same thing you'll miss when you're ''sleeping off that Benadryl'', as one of the side effects is extreme sleepiness. As an interesting note, all "PM" versions of medication, like Tylenol PM and Advil PM, contain Benadryl because of the sleepiness. It is a simple remedy for dogs who are terrified of thunderstorms: the poor dog is too drugged and sleepy to be scared. |
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* ''[[Head Trip]]'' presents [http://headtrip.keenspot.com/d/20150126.html a warning] that runs across four more and more distressed [[Beat Panel]]s. |
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