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** I was expecting something mild. '''''Mother of God.'''''
* "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-angrily-clarifies-dont-kill-rule,222/ God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule]", in particular the closing paragraph:
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** This one was written in response to the September 11 attacks, making it even more poignant.
* Combined with [[You Have Outlived Your Usefulness]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-mommy-a-lot-prettier,1512/ New Mommy A Lot Prettier]"
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** Kelly's cartoon that day was surprisingly poignant too. He usually employs some measure of [[You Can Panic Now]], but this one was just his [[Author Avatar]] with a [[Single Tear]] asking [http://www.theonion.com/articles/september-12-2011,21333/ "When is it okay to laugh again"?]
* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/not-knowing-what-else-to-do-woman-bakes-americanfl,221/ "Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake,"] also written in response to 9/11.
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Pearson and the Overstreets stared at the cake in silence for nearly a minute, until Cassie hugged Pearson.
"It's beautiful," Cassie said. "The cake is beautiful." }}
* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-hearing-loved-ones-voice-induces-excru,27035/ "Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients."]
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