Vampire Bites Suck: Difference between revisions

[[File:matthewparker.jpg|link=The League of Gentlemen|right]]

 

'''Dracula:''' ''Nah, see, that's a myth. Dracula scrape with his fangs and lick up the blood. Like this... ''[demonstrates]'' See, scrape and lick. Scrape and lick. like a kitten drinking milk.''|''[[The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy]]'', "Fear and Loathing in Endsville"}}

 

* The vampiric {{spoiler|Lotte Lipp}} on ''[[The League of Gentlemen]]'' leaves huge, gruesome puncture marks.

* In ''[[The Vampire Diaries]]'' a full set of tooth marks is left on the victim, and when people are bitten there's the occasional sound like flesh being ''chewed''. Though they can use their [[Mind Control|compulsion]] to make people ignore the pain, or at least forget about it afterward.

* ''Deadliest Warrior'' used a ''freakin' alligator'' as the basis for a vampire's bite in "Vampires vs. Zombies". When the resulting pressure reading was placed into a pneumatic jaw, the "vampire fangs" bit through a "zombie skull", and ''reached the center of the brain''. By comparison, very few non-gunpowder weapons tested on the show have been able to penetrate that deeply into the skull. {{spoiler|The bite ultimately counted for less than 5 percent of the vampire's kills; based on the data, the vampires simply chose to strike the zombies down instead of biting them.}}

 

** The Norvegi bloodline, whose inherited flaw is that they lack fangs. That means that they have to use something sharp, and it hurts precisely as much as some bastard slitting your wrist with a knife then latching onto it and trying to suck your blood out does. Which is to say, a lot. On the other hand, their special power, [[Body Horror|Bloodworking]], does mean that they can turn their hands into organic bone-knives which drain your blood when you're stabbed. Still hurts like hell, though.

** While they still experience the pleasurable intoxication that most vampire bites cause, victims of the Eupraxus bloodline have a problem when it comes to being fed from - the vampire cannot lick the wound to close it. This often leads to the unfortunate situation of a human haemorrhaging to death while still moaning pleasureably, at least until the intoxication wears off. And because their bitemarks don't heal, being embraced by one of these vampires leads to an eternity of wearing scarves or roll neck jumpers just to cover the holes in your throat.

* The ''Monster Manuscript'' was a booklet giving D&D stats and painting instructions from some Grenadier miniatures from the early '80s. One of the listed monsters is a "velanmorg", an elven vampire that messily plays out this trope, ripping victims' throats out and greedily guzzling the fountaining blood. Their claws hold the struggling prey securely as it bleeds out.

* ''[[Tabletop Game]][[Rifts]]'' Vampires have a "Killing Bite" that's powerful enough to penetrate armor. Wild Vampires don't bite any other way.

** You can get a good approximation by completely covering yourself in, preferably cold, mud. You become sluggish due to cold and the weight of the mud. You entire body becomes harder to move as the mud hardens and dries. But then again, this is just mud. You can brush it off. Not when it's inside you, though.

* In ''[[Fate/stay night]]'', Rider is for some reason vampiric. She doesn't tend to care much about what happens to the victim after being bitten and will drain a victim completely dry if she feels like it, as seen in at least one bad end and also referenced to at the beginning of Heavens Feel. And it feels just as pleasant as having your throat torn out by a normal person's teeth, as she is not in fact a vampire and lacks fangs/canines. Oddly enough, {{spoiler|she's actually a good guy when she gets a chance to make her own decisions. Still likes blood though.}}

* [[Legacy of Kain|Kain]] has shown a preference for [[Neck Lift|hoisting victims into the air with one hand]] and then gruesomely chowing down on their jugular—with crunching noises—when he isn't telekinetically vacuuming their blood from afar.