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How to Survive a Horror Movie: Difference between revisions
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{{quote|''I'm sorry to the countless people whose lives I've cut short. The characters who've become unwilling sacrifices to my art: The buxom [[Badly-Battered Babysitter|babysitters]]. The [[Police Are Useless|doubting cops]]. The [[Overprotective Dad|overbearing]] [[My Beloved Smother|parents]] and [[Dogged Nice Guy|well-intentioned boyfriends]]. Teens with their whole lives ahead of them. Decent, hardworking adults. All sent to an early grave in the name of [[Money, Dear Boy|box-office gold]].''
|An apology from [[Wes Craven]]}}
You know the handy rules that ''[[Scream (film)|Scream]]'' provided us on surviving a horror movie? Well, somebody's expanded them into a whole book.
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'''''How to Survive a Horror Movie''': All the Skills to Dodge the Kills'' is a book by horror lover Seth Grahame-Smith (of later ''[[Pride and Prejudice And Zombies]]'' fame) that details what you should do in the event that you find yourself stuck in a horror movie. In it, you will learn how to [[The Exorcist|perform an exorcism]], what to do if [[I Know What You Did Last Summer|you did something last summer]], how to persuade [[Police Are Useless|the skeptical local sheriff]], how to kill [[Child's Play (TV series)||a murderous doll]], how to survive an [[Alien Invasion]], what to do if [[The Sixth Sense|you've been dead]] [[Dead All Along|since the beginning]] [[It Was His Sled|of the movie]], how to defeat [[Satan]] himself, and many other useful skills. It's divided into six chapters, each devoted to a particular subgenre: an introduction (how to tell that you're in a horror movie, and rules that apply across the genre), [[Slasher Movie|slashers]], evil inanimate objects, the undead (namely [[Our Ghosts Are Different|ghosts]], [[Our Vampires Are Different|vampires]] and [[Zombie Apocalypse|zombies]]), [[Alien Invasion|aliens]] and beasts, and finally, [[Demonic Possession|demonic]] and [[Religious Horror|religious]] evil.
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* [[Affectionate Parody]]: Of horror movies in general.
* [[Black Dude Dies First]]: Two of the stock characters named in the first chapter are "The Black Guy Who Buys It 20 Minutes In" and "[[Sassy Black Woman|The Black Guy's Girlfriend]] Who Buys It 24 Minutes In".
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