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Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed to Do In An RPG: Difference between revisions
Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed to Do In An RPG (view source)
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798. Not allowed to use guppies as buckshot.
1695. Can't [[Truth in Television|load the shotgun just with rock salt]] because I'm feeling mean.
1815. Can't have [[Catapult to Glory|a gun capable of]] [[Fastball Special|using other PC's as ammo]]. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'')
2016. While extremely cool, my superhero needs something more than just a gun that fires badgers at people.
2076. If I'm commissioned to build an artillery gun, they don't mean a gun that fires howitzers.
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1183. No it won’t help if we put a silencer on the bazooka.
1216. I can’t have a gun that treats buildings as light cover.
1265. Heavy bolters don’t come with a pistol grip. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'')
1452. Despite it's phenomenal success rate, a multi-melta is not the solution to all my problems. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'')
1587. There is no way the [[Mage: The Ascension|Iteration X mage]] is going to make it through airport security.
1598. If my gun can easily kill everything in the room, I go last in initiative.
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{{quote|312. I am not the son, father, husband, ex-roommate, former professor or retired garbage man of the villain.
1444. My Ally advantage and Arch Enemy flaw can't both represent the same person.
1810. Even if the rules allow it, can't be on good terms with an organization sworn to destroy me. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'')
}}
* [[Biggus Dickus]]: Possibly implied.
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{{quote|
580. A sledgehammer does not give any bonus to my search for secret doors roll.
1372. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot have a monofilament sledgehammer. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'')
2028. Even if the rules allow it, a called shot to the eyes with a sledgehammer isn't very practical. }}
* [[Dungeon Bypass]]: A good number of the entries on the list. These include but are certainly not limited to...
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* [[Game Breaker]]: Numerous times In-Universe.
{{quote|69. There is more to wizardry than magic missile. Even if I can do 200 damage automatic with no save. (''D&D 3.0'')
1452. Despite it's phenomenal success rate, a multi-melta is not the solution to all my problems. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'') }}
* [[Gangsta Style]]: The page quote.
{{quote|1033. Holding the hand crossbow sideways 'gangsta style' does not add to my intimidate check. (''D&D 3.0'')}}
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{{quote|73. Not allowed to name my cudgel Ceremonial Whoopass Stick.
524. I will not ask my gun for advice.
1359. I can't call my gun by a stupid nickname, even if it's the one that the game suggested. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'')
2209. My techpriest will refrain from developing emotional attachments to the ordnance. }}
* [[I Know Your True Name]]:
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1212. Even if they’d never suspect it, my Jedi can’t have a flamethrower.
1460. Even if the rules allow it, can't fish with a flamethrower.
1600. Even if the rules allow it, I can't mount a flamethrower on a knife.
1611. Even if she started it, no setting the princess on fire.
1656. Starting a flame war on the internet is bad. Starting a flame war not on the internet is much, much worse.
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* [[Logic Bomb]]: Back to the genie.
{{quote|199. My third wish cannot be 'I wish you wouldn't grant this wish.'
1871. No tricking the techpriest into dividing by zero. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'')}}
* [[The Loonie]]: If only fictional examples of this kind of player could be quite so dedicated to it... but he doesn't seem to like competition.
{{quote|
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1584. Even if the rules allow it, you can't sneak with a running chainsaw.
1600. Even if the rules allow it, I can't mount a flamethrower on a knife.
1642. No matter what the rules say, antibiotics can't make a man's head explode. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'')<ref>The result of [[Damage Typing]] and taking damage from failed attempts at medicine</ref>
1807. Even if the rules allow it, I can't have a saber toothed walrus.
1821. Even if the rules allow it, the Soviet National Anthem doesn't qualify for the inspirational music ability.
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1883. Even if the rules allow it, my fighter can't carry a clan of halfings<!-- sic --> in his pack without penalty.
1911. Even if the rules allow it, I can't one shot guys with a feather duster.
1924. Despite what the rules say, shooting other PC's in the head [[Villainous Demotivator|does not improve morale]]. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'')
1939. Even if the rules allow it, can't parry an artillery barrage with my fists.
1966. Even if the rules allow it, can't play a viking [[Mad Scientist]].
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1083. My IRSAn will not use his powers to help fill out wikipedia articles.
1191. Super powers that are only useful to art majors are vetoed.
1416. The guy with the meltagun doesn't automatically have to carry the popcorn. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'')
1568. Werewolves normally do not have access to the 'Sonnet' Specialization.
1621. No using the Reduce spell to only to buy a child's ticket at the movies.
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230. There is no such thing as monofilament tooth floss.
1032. Monofilament does not automatically make the world a better place.
1372. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot have a monofilament sledgehammer.
* [[Recoil Boost]]:
{{quote|
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1287. Let's not taunt the minotaur with "[[Monkey Island|How appropriate]], [[You Fight Like a Cow]]".
1332. Even if silence is required for the entire adventure, we are not naming the Black Ops [[Operation Mindcrime|Operation: Mimecrime]].
1356. Before we start, let's make sure whether everybody blows up if I [[Dune|shoot a shield]] with a lasgun. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'')
1454. The paladin does not appreciate us painting [[He-Man and the Masters of the Universe|his dire tiger green and orange]].
1484. Just because I can, doesn't mean I should [[The Wizard of Oz|drop a house on the witch.]]
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1257. No, the answer to the problem is not to make a gatling gun out of bazookas.
1357. Preliminary saturation carpet bombing is not automatically Plan A.
1452. Despite it's phenomenal success rate, a multi-melta is not the solution to all my problems. (''[[Dark Heresy]]'')
1517. Checking to see if the Mad Slasher is dead is ok, dismembering him with a shotgun is overkill.
1537. My Rogue Trader does not need to announce his arrival with eight hours of orbital bombardment.
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