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My Little Panzer: Difference between revisions
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[[File:atomic-energy-lab-.jpg|link=Aluminum Christmas Trees|right|<small>[[Blatant Lies|Perfectly safe]] and [[Not Making This Up Disclaimer|perfectly real]], honest..</small> ]]
{{quote|'''Yogurt:''' [[The Merch|Merchandising, merchandising!]] [[Toyetic|Where the real money from the movie is made!]] Spaceballs the T-shirt, Spaceballs the coloring book, Spaceballs the lunch box, Spaceballs the breakfast cereal, Spaceballs '''''[[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick|da flamethrowah]]!'''''<br />
[turns on flamethrower]<br />
'''Dink, Dink, Dink, Dink, Dink, Dink:''' Ooooh!<br />
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[[Olympus Mons]] could be considered the organic equivalent; just replace "toys" with "pets."
The trope name is a pun on ''[[My Little Pony]]''. Not to be confused with [[Allo Allo (TV)|mein little tank]]. Compare other failures to regulate safety in TV Land: [[No OSHA Compliance]], [[Social Services Does Not Exist]], [[There Are No Therapists]]. Not to be confused with [[Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys?|wonderful toys]] (although those are often effectively the same thing).
{{examples
== Anime ==
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* ''[[Crush Gear Turbo]]'': Crush Gear vehicles have a tendency to fly apart.
* ''[[Battle B-daman]]'' launchers cause some pretty painful (if minor) injuries in the anime. Real life versions can put an eye out under certain circumstances.
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh (Tabletop Game)|Yu-Gi-Oh]]'': Duel Monsters really should come with the following disclaimer: "WARNING -- May cause getting kidnapped by evil organizations, [[Freak Out|Freak Outs]], [[Mind Rape]], the emergence of a [[Super
** Even worse near the start, where just about every game or toy was turned into a game that resulted in someone breaking psychologically.
* ''[[Bakugan (Tabletop Game)|Bakugan]]'' should get a warning sticker of their own as of New Vestroia's second season. Good thing their real world equivalents cannot transform into their [[Eldritch Abomination|true forms.]]
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* The ''[[Alcatraz Series (Literature)|Alcatraz Series]]'' has teddy bears that double as hand grenades. They are explicitly designed to be used by kids for self defense.
* In the [[Philip K Dick]] short story "War Games", Earth has a safety board inspecting toys from Titan, with whom they are having a political Cold War, but whose goods are still popular. We see at least one dangerous toy--a VR costume-suit which causes the wearer to lose contact with reality. The safety board is afraid everything could be like this, so they have a paranoid eye on everything-- {{spoiler|excepting a board game that looks like a Monopoly variation, but isn't. (No, the board game doesn't count unless you consider undermining capitalism dangerous.)}}
* The short story ''Bobo's Star'' has kids in the future being given their own miniature star-creation kits at home. The titular character's star turns into a black hole and devours the Earth because [[Not Now, Kiddo|nobody would listen to him]].
* The [[Stephen King]] story "Battleground", part of the "Night Shift" collection, has a hitman who killed a toy designer attacked by an army of toy soldiers, complete with air support. {{spoiler|They eventually kill him by breaking out a tiny nuclear weapon.}}
* Something similar happens when [[Death Takes a Holiday|Death substitutes for the local Santa equivalent]] in ''[[Discworld|Hogfather]]''. A little girl asks for a sword (as well as a few other gender-abnormal toys). He gives her one. Only some persuasion from his 'helper' convinces him that giving a small child a few feet of sharp steel might be a bad idea.
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** ''SNL'' also had "[[Happy Fun Ball]]". It was a kid's toy with an [[Yes but What Does Zataproximetacine DO|increasingly bizarre disclaimer]], containing warnings such as "May suddenly accelerate to unsafe speeds" and "If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, seek shelter and cover head," culminating with the famous quote, "[[Memetic Mutation|Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball]]". Link to sketch [http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7358768984043835546&q=%22Happy+ Fun+ Ball%22&total=42&start=0&num=20&so=0&type=search&plindex=0 here].
** Lots of the ''SNL'''s fake toy commercials are for toys that would no way in Hell be sold in real life (whether it's because they're physically dangerous, will cause complaints from [[Moral Guardians]] who think that kids are impressionable enough to be screwed up by what they play with, or are just plain useless and/or lame). Some examples include: Gangsta Bitch Barbie (comes with Jolly Ranchers, a pack of Newport cigarettes, and a restraining order against her boyfriend Tupac Ken), Nerf Crotch Bats, Big Red (A viking who sprays massive gushers of blood-red liquid), Litter Critters (using cat crap to make clay figurines), and the recent dangerous toy commercial, Li'l Poundcake (a doll that administers vaccinations against the HP virus for girls under 10).
* ''Merrick And Rosso'' had a sketch involving two modified remote controlled toys from hell; One being a [[Thomas the Tank Engine]] with a buzzsaw on the front, the other being a Barbie-style van with a [[Kill It With Fire|flamethrower]], both tearing up mundane toys. (Except the official Merrick and Rosso [[Non
* ''[[Mad TV]]'' had [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xP-6xhauf4 "Spishak's 'Hey, It's Ovens for Kids!'"], a children's ''gas oven''.
** [[Acme Products|Spishak's]] products in general, actually. Besides the above, there's Yule Blazers (plutonium-powered Christmas lights), the Bris-O-Tine (a mini-guillotine designed for circumcision), the Snoorfpk (a spoon/fork/knife combo), etc.
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* ''[[Gotcha Force]]'' is a game about an invasion by toy-sized robots and the other toy-sized robots who resist them. {{spoiler|[[Combining Mecha|They get bigger.]]}}
* The ''[[Wario Land (Video Game)|Wario Land]] 4'' Wario car action figure-like enemies. Oh the irony of a toy based on Wario driving his car being something that's dangerous enough to kill him in the toy themed levels. It also had a metal spike on the front (hence how it was so dangerous), could drive through more spikes, and was apparently a pretty good throwing weapon.
* While not [[Humongous Mecha|toys]] by any means, the [[A Mech By Any Other Name|Scoobies]] from ''[[Phantom Crash]]'' are often piloted by children. In fact, the shop owner who sells you upgrades gets [[What the Hell, Hero?|called out]] by one of the top pilots for essentially selling weapons to children. Of course, the shop owner brushes it off and it's never brought up again.
* The foot-tall Robos of ''[[Custom Robo (Video Game)|Custom Robo]]'' are actually pretty harmless themselves, despite being able to shoot lasers, bombs, or [[Abnormal Ammo|swords]]. They can only work within specialized arenas called Holosseums. Except illegal parts can do rather horrible things to whoever uses them, and the local [[Eldritch Abomination|Cthulhu]] happens to have accidentally possessed one. These behaviors might be excusable, since they're not well known. The part where losing in a Holosseum knocks you head first into the ground and quite often knocks you unconscious might not pass the CSPA muster.
** That last bit happens only when the "safety switch" is off, which allows the robos to use their abilities to the fullest extent. Regular, day-to-day Holosseum battles are basically massive [[Nerf|Nerfs]] of the robos so that no one is hurt. Illegal parts are actually capable of ''killing'' someone if the switch is off (though this is rare, even with the ridiculously powerful illegal parts)... this is why they're '''illegal'''.
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** There's a store full of these played for laughs in an episode called Toy Palace.
*** Including Avogadro the Alligator, which is powered by cold fusion.
* In ''[[Superman:
{{quote| '''Toyman''': "Uhhh, maybe you should read the warning?? Dopey Dough is a ''lethal biogenic organism''. Contact with the skin can prove ''fatal''. It won't stop growing until it ''asphyxiates its host''. '''[[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|NOT for children under 3.]]'''"}}
* As a homage to superheroes, something similar shows up in ''[[Darkwing Duck (Animation)|Darkwing Duck]]'', with Quackerjack's toys. 'Don't play with Quackerjack toys, they're dangerous!' was once said before the child in question threw the toy. She had to pull the pin first.
* ''[[Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy (Animation)|Ed, Edd n Eddy]]'' has some of Ed's toys, including an action figure of a small monster that literally acted as a flamethrower when a certain button was pressed. To the surprise of Edd when Ed was in a bad mood and they were using it in a puppet show.
** As Eddy put it: "Nice toy!"
** He also has a cranked toy which walks forwards and chomps its jaws, which ''[[Amusing Injuries|ripped a hole through Eddy's stomach]]'':
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** An arcade shooting game had its gun replaced with a bright colored model because of this. Apparently when police entered arcades they were not amused to have realistically looking toy guns pointed at them.
** Similarly, [[Transformers Generation 1|the original version]] of the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Megatron transformed from a robot into a Walther P-38 pistol. More recent incarnations have transformed from a robot into [[Beast Wars (Animation)|a dinosaur]], a jet, or a tank (for example) so that his action figures don't (legally) need to be bright orange.
*** The redesign of the original toy in 2006 turns into a differently-colored one-off of a Nerf Maverick blaster with orange safety cap, rather than the semi-realistic Walther P38. Despite this being ''legally mandated'', toy collectors ''still'' [[They Changed It, Now It Sucks|complained]].
**** This was mocked in the [[Insecticomics]]' [[Fourth Wall Mail Slot|Ask Vector Prime A Question]] feature, where said Megatron writes in to say he's still dangerous, [[Beware the Nice Ones|able to disguise himself as a simple Nerf gun.]]
** The Walther P-38 version of Megatron was yet again redesigned as "Masterpiece" Megatron, now with a far more detailed and intricate transformation scheme. He still turned into a Walther P-38, but now one nearly twice the size of the actual weapon. It was not allowed to enter the US without a neon orange safety plug in the barrel, even though it ships in robot mode.
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* Another ''[[Transformers]]'' example; there used to be a line of toys with the ability to "spark", they would produce light, sound, and exhaust similar to real engines and weapons. They work via an internal steel wheel rubbing a flint, much like a cigarette lighter. Skating ''[[Barbie]]'' dolls had similar roller blades to spark up the ground. Needless to say, Hasbro refuses to produce these anymore.
* Most knock-off toys (the kind of things you find at car boot sales, market stalls etc. they're normally based on a popular kid's film or cartoon, for example ''[[Spider-Man]]'' or ''[[Cars]]'') are made with lead paint or will fall apart VERY easily. This is generally done because they're cheap to make and they're generally bought by parents who don't realize the dangers and just see a cheap toy.
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucO-tGMebZY Tie 'N Tangle], a game based on wrapping other players in a web of nylon string, would otherwise be [[So Bad
{{reflist}}
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