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'''''The Girl Who Lived''''' [[Hotter and Sexier|Sex]]tet is a series of ''[[Harry Potter]]'' fanfics written by Keiran Halcyon. The series is a retelling of all
Now, after reading that first bit, you're probably thinking "So what? There are ''tons'' of HP fanfics [[Gender Flip|that do that]]. Why does this one deserve its own page?" Well, for one thing, [[
There are two main draws to the series. The first is that more than half of the series is, literally, [[Plagiarism|copied word-for-word from the original books]]. The other is the sheer over-the-top [[Mary Sue|sueishness]] of the main character. Rose elbows her way through canon and changes so many things that the plotholes induced in the stories of the later books could take up a whole page of their own. Oh, and there's [[Hotter and Sexier|more nudity and sex.]] Lots more.
The series is incomplete and stalled at Chapter 7 of ''The Half-Blood Prince.'' The whole series can be found [
Not to be confused with ''[[The Girl Who Loved]]''.
{{tropelist}}
* [[Adaptation-Induced Plothole]]
* [[Alternate Universe Fic]]
* [[Anticlimax]]
* [[Author Appeal]]
** The author also drags in references to ''mallorn'' trees and the suggestion that Rose and Cedric are the reincarnation of a famous couple from [[The Lord of the Rings|Middle Earth]].
* [[Ax Crazy]]
* [[Awesome McCoolname]]
* [[Blood Bath]]
* [[Canis Latinicus]]
* [[Can't Argue
* [[Captain Obvious]]
* [[Conflict]]
* [[Combo-Platter Powers]]
** Most notable are having all of the wizarding spells, a variety of rare wizarding natural abilities (like metamorphmagus), [[Bullet Time|Matrix-style]] ninjutsu, Druidic magic, and fueling dark curses with the power of love.
* [[Dead Fic]]
* [[Did Not Do the Research]]
** There are also a good number of instances outside of the HP canon when the author is guilty of this. One that comes to mind immediately is when he writes that Cedric and Rose perform a tango
*** To be fair, this is somewhat possible, but the lead needs at least some competence even in order to be backled-in general a good lead can make the follow look really good, but a very experienced follow backleading the lead can only make the pair look okay.
** Rose describes Arithmancy as breaking spells down into numbers. Wrong. It actually exists in the real world, and is a form of divination based around the mystical properties of numbers (a variation is the Jewish practice of gematria).
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** The class of "Ancient Runes", has absolutely nothing in common with its book counterpart. In the books, it is a ''language'' class, simply learning a type of rune language, no different from taking a French or German class. In this fanfic, it's some kind of vague Warcraft knockoff, with runes being used as power-ups of some sort for spells and abilities (which seems both grossly unfair to other students to teach them more powerful magic, and also poses the question of why ''everyone'' would not take said class). NOTHING in canon remotely suggests the class is anything other than the study of a language.
** The aforementioned [[Canis Latinicus]]. [[Sarcasm Mode|Druids, being of Celtic origin, would naturally choose to chant in the language of the Romans who oppressed and conquered them]].
* [[Disproportionate Retribution]]
** Or ''carve words into her "best friend"'s forehead''. Gee, where have we seen this before?
** She breaks the limbs of Uncle Dursley in response to mocking her school acceptance letter. Not that he doesn't deserve a beating, but still.
* [[Don't Explain the Joke]]
* [[Everyone Is Bi]]
** The fact that the author is male would pretty well explain it. You'd be forgiven for not realizing this with the intense misandry that pervades the series.
* [[Fan Disservice]]: The author spends a substantial amount of time describing the breasts, nipples, and pubic hair of the female characters. Even when they are 11/12.
** Hell, most nude characters are ''underaged''.
*** The author does have the...erm... "decency" to give Rose the power of [[shapeshifting]], which means that the eleven-year-old Rose is able to give herself the body of a twenty-something woman.
* [[Fix Fic]]
* [[Funetik Aksent]]: Attempted. In Hagrid and Fleur's cases, this involved hacking off random letters and peppering all their sentences with odd apostrophes. In Viktor's case, it involved adding Vs to every word he spoke. No, not just replacing W with V; the man pronounced "perhaps" as ''"perhapvs"''.
* [[Great Big Book of Everything]]
{{quote|
* [[Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?]]
** There's also the part where she and Ginny sleep together in bed
▲* [[Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?]] - Rose will bathe with other girls, give them sensual massages, and hug them in a "sisterly" manner... all while being naked. But she's NOT a lesbian or bisexual! Seriously, she even says so repeatedly!
▲** There's also the part where she and Ginny sleep together in bed - naked - and wake up in a spooning position.
*** ''Did we forget the eleven-year-old having her chest soaped by a bunch of thirteen-year-olds?!''
*** Or the scene in which Rose decides that in order to safely teleport Ginny somewhere, the two need to hold each other in a tight embrace with Ginny's head pressed against Rose's chest. "It's like being held by the big sis I never had" indeed...
* [[Hollywood Sex]]
** Possibly more [[You Fail Biology Forever]], but apparently druids have the power to control their menstrual cycle. Complete with deciding when they give birth when pregnant, despite the fact that a baby would be a completely separate organism and thus not under their control.
*** To be fair, some animals, like hyenas, can control when they give birth, but this is done by retarding the embryo's development so they give birth later than expected. To do things to the extent of this series' druids, magic is required.
* [[In Spite of a Nail]]
* [[Invincible Hero]]
* [[Level Up At Intimacy 5]]
* [[Male Gaze]]
▲* [[Male Gaze]] - Rose identifies girls by breasts, nipple size and color, pubic hair, and then everything else. This was one of the first tip-offs as to the author's gender once suspicion rose.
* [[Meaningful Name]]: Unintentional, on the part of the author. His chosen pseudonym is used by [[X Wing Series|Corran Horn]], who is frequently accused of being a [[Canon Sue]].
* [[New Powers
* [[Ninja]]
** Keep in mind that her ninja training came from one of her Muggle teachers. Meaning that one of her teachers just happened to know ninjutsu and decide to teach it to a girl under the age of eleven. To help her deal with bullies. Yeah.
* [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]]
* [[Noodle Incident]]
* [[Out of Character]]
* [[Plagiarism]]
** Worse than that, Halycon plagiarizes ''other fanfics''. The bit with the cursed gun in Knockturn Alley is practically word-for-word from the fanfic ''[[Harry Potter and
** Her earlier druid powers including "summoning ravens, vine creepers, spirit wolves" and mention of druids that infect themselves with lycanthropy are ripped straight from ''[[Diablo]] 2''. It's hilarious.
** All of that "Void" nonsense and the "Dim Mak" she pulls out at one point just show us that Keiran Halycon is a ''[[Legend of the Five Rings]]'' player.
* [[Product Placement]]
* [[Purple Prose]]
* [[Raging Stiffie]]
* [[Rape Is OK When It Is Female On Male]]
* [[Sherlock Scan]]
* [[Signature Move]]: Rather than Harry's [[Technical Pacifist|disarming charm]], Rose Potter goes with the much more lethal Piercing Curse.
* [[Spared
** [[Word of God]] implied that this was planned for {{spoiler|Dumbledore}} as well.
* [[The Stations of the Canon]]
* [[There Are No Girls
* [[Took a Level
* [[Took a Level
* [[Wanton Cruelty to
{{quote|
''“Time? I have no idea, but I know; I’ve got four hundred and twenty-two pages to read!” said Hermione, now sounding slightly hysterical.''}}▼
▲“Time? I have no idea, but I know; I’ve got four hundred and twenty-two pages to read!” said Hermione, now sounding slightly hysterical.
** To summarize, the author, has the unfortunate tendency, to overuse commas, the run-on sentences created by this, are quite unwieldy; in addition, the writer shuns the noble period; he instead prefers to use, the semicolon.
* [[What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?]]
* [[You Can't Fight Fate]]
* [[You Keep Using That Word]]
* [[Younger Than They Look]]: According to Halcyon, all 11-year-olds have proportions akin to Playboy centerfolds.
{{reflist}}
[[Category:The Girl Who Lived]]▼
{{Harry Potter Franchise}}
[[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]]
[[Category:Fanfic]]
[[Category:Defunct Fan Works]]
[[Category:Harry Potter/Fan Works]]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Girl Who Lived, The}}
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