Stargate Universe/Funny

• Main
• Characters
• Laconic
• Recap
  • S1
    • E01 E2 Air Part 12
  • S2
    • E05 Cloverdale
    • E08 Malice
    • E09 Visitation
    • E10 Resurgence Part 1
• Trivia
• YMMV
• Fridge
• Fanfic Recs
• Headscratchers
• Quotes
• WMG
• Crowners
  • Awesome
  • Funny
  • Heartwarming
  • Tear Jerker
• Wikipedia
• All Subpages
• Create New

---

• Eli's running commentary of the Apocalyptic Log in "Time", but particularly.

[In the video, Rush runs off during a fire fight with alien creatures] Video!Eli: Where are you going! You're crazy! He's crazy! [Cut back to the crew watching the video] Eli: [turns to Rush] You are! Rush: [shrugs]

• Also in the episode "Earth", in the first glitch with the communication stones. Colonel Young is having sex with his wife, when suddenly he and Telford switch consciousness for a few seconds, right at *ahem* a very important part in the action. When they switch back again, it goes something like this:

Scott: Telford? Sir? Telford: O__O Scott: Sir? Sir? Telford: *blink*

• In "Divided", the communication stones are used to bring a doctor from Earth. She becomes increasingly mortified by the weird conditions on the ship (alien venom as an anesthetic, a makeshift fiber optic camera made from a hovering camera ball, and the fact that the ship is being attacked). TJ simply responds, "Welcome to Destiny." Hmm, that has a certain ring to it.
• Chloe tries to justify having picked up archeology to Colonel Young, with Eli's help.

Eli: Say something archaeological. Chloe: Stratification! Eli: That's good. Chloe: Thank you.

• • Counts as an in-universe CMOF, as their rather long and awkward string of justifications ends with Young chuckling to himself once they leave the room.
  • Later on, Eli claims that he called Greer out for being afraid as a joke. Because he thought that they were on that level in their relationship.

Greer: I'm going to stay up here and cover your backs. Eli: What are you, scared? *Greer gives him a stare* That was a joke. I'm sorry, I must have mistakenly thought we were on that level now. You know, friends who can kid each other like that? *Greer removes shades and switches to a full blown death stare* Please don't kill me?

• • Same episode, when the away team have to call in a rescue team due to the aftermath of a spider attack, and having to explain it to Young.

Scott: It was a sizable spider, sir.

• O'Neill is good for these.

Telford: What makes us so special? O'Neill: I know what makes me special.

• Greer vs. Alien Fruit. Both times ("Justice" and "Faith"). The first time, he pretends the "alien sweet potato" tastes delicious ( which was a little too generous). The second time, he eats a completely random fruit to the horror of the rest of the off-world team.

TJ: We don't even know if it's poisonous! Greer: (deadpan) We will.

• • Greer vs. Alien Wildlife. "Is it something we can barbecue?"
  • Then again, in "The Hunt": Greer and Varro are carrying a wounded corporal back to the gate. They suddenly see a "space deer". Next scene: "Becker's Barbecue" on Destiny.
• Eli and Young's exchange about the returning crew members' explanation in "Visitation."

Eli: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." -Arthur C. Clarke Young: "Turn the mic back on." -Winston Churchill

• • Apparently, Young starts to get how to make Eli understand what he wants (from "Resurgence"):

Young: (about how Eli should send a signal to an alien ship) "Ancient, English, Bat-Signal, and whatever else you've got."

• Volker on seeing the alien ship in "The Greater Good"

Volker: (deadpan) "New friends. Yay."

• • In a later episode, when Rush dryly comments on their status, Brody joins in:

Rush: Well at least we have a full tank of gas. Sarcastically in unison* Volker / Brody: Yaaaay.

• The Kino mini-episodes can be full of funny:
  • "We... turned him purple."
  • Eli taking a Kino on a tour of the ship and getting lost.

Eli: And this room is... *looks around in confusion* I don't think I've been in here before... *wanders off camera*

• • Scott catching people watching South Park when they should be exercising, and how they get him to go away:

Scott: [About running two miles] I can do it under 23 minutes. Eli: Really? Funny, because there's a protein bar here that says you can't. [Scott runs off, everyone goes back to watching South Park]

• When Brody attempts to turn off Also Sprach Zarathustra in "Hope", the Numa Numa song comes on.
  • Also in "Hope", this little exchange in the medlab:

Park: Still a lot of potential post-operative drawbacks. Infection, high blood pressure, erec..tile..dys..function...(trails off) (beat) [Brody, TJ and Park try and fail to stifle their laughter.] Volker: Why is that funny?

• This:

Rush: You've come a long way from the videogame slacker I met one year ago. Eli: Thanks... You've been pretty consistent.

• Pretty much the entirety of "Common Descent" and "Epilogue," at least the parts that weren't Crowning Moments Of Heartwarming.

Volker: What's Rush's country called? Rushia? Eli: ...Futura. Volker: ...what the hell kind of name is Futura? Brody: What's wrong with Futura? Eli: Well, they say that you (indicates Brody) came up with it.

• • When everyone realizes where Yaozu's little words of wisdom come from.

Yaozu: "It is easier to know where you are going if you know where you have been." Eli Wallace. Everyone Else: (awkward silence)

• • More Futura humor.

Volker: Maybe Futura helped. Park: Isn't that a font? Brody: Will you shut up about the name?

• • The Pair the Spares moment.

Eli: Me and...Private Barnes? Chloe: You know...if you want to pursue that?

• • One of the last Kino recordings is of Brody...complaining.

Brody: All these kids...running around, dancing. Always dancing. Tearing up my lawn! When I was a kid, people had respect-- (recording shuts off)