The Guards Must Be Crazy: Difference between revisions

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* Never questioning or getting confirmation about that mysterious "surprise inspection".

* Allowing access to a [[Delivery Guy Infiltration|delivery person]].

The trope name is a pun on the film ''[[The Gods Must Be Crazy]]''.

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** Justified in-setting: no one with the slightest amount of sense will voluntarily take a job at Arkham Asylum if they can find work anywhere else. Arkham's staff is all there because they are too incompetent or crazy to be employable by any reputable establishment.

* In an early ''[[Johan and Peewit]]'' story, a bunch of guards abandon all common sense for a barrel of mead, leaving the guard room empty (and allowing Johan to sabotage the drawbridge).

* In the very first story of ''[[Diabolik]]'' it's mentioned that he had broken out of the supposedly ~~unescapable~~ prison of Asen. More recently a flashback showed how he did it: he killed two guards who gave him a small opening, stole the uniform of one of them and ruined his face to slow identification, then took off his [[Latex Perfection|perfect mask]] and walked out dressed as a guard. Granted, that was before the police knew of his masks or his true face, but the guards still failed to notice a man in uniform who was ''not'' one of them...

* In the very first story of ''[[Diabolik]]'' it's mentioned that he had broken out of the supposedly inescapable prison of Asen. More recently a flashback showed how he did it: he killed two guards who gave him a small opening, stole the uniform of one of them and ruined his face to slow identification, then took off his [[Latex Perfection|perfect mask]] and walked out dressed as a guard. Granted, that was before the police knew of his masks or his true face, but the guards still failed to notice a man in uniform who was ''not'' one of them...

* In the ''[[Tintin]]'' adventure ''The Seven Crystal Balls'', Thompson and Thomson are assigned to guard Dr. Midge. They are suspicious of a package addressed to him which turns out to be a harmless present, but neglect the [[Dangerous Windows|windows]], which were the point of entry for previous attacks and the one that claims Dr. Midge.

== Fan Works ==

* Parodied in ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series]]'' when Tristan is sneaking up on a guard in a suit of armor. "CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK." "Must be the wind." "CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK." "Yeah, that's definitely the sound that wind makes."

* When Feliciano rescues Ludwig from the American base in the ''[[Axis Powers Hetalia]]'' fanfiction, "Auf Wiedersen, Sweetheart." The plan involved getting all but two American guards to leave by telling them that their counterparts had gotten into a [[Bar Brawl]] in town and then convincing the remaining guards to [[Drinking on Duty|drink the drugged flask of bourbon]].

* When Feliciano rescues Ludwig from the American base in the ''[[Axis Powers Hetalia]]'' fanfiction, ''Auf Wiedersen, Sweetheart''. The plan involved getting all but two American guards to leave by telling them that their counterparts had gotten into a [[Bar Brawl]] in town and then convincing the remaining guards to [[Drinking on Duty|drink the drugged flask of bourbon]].

* [[Legolas By Laura|legolas by laura]] features a scene described thus by a sporker, caused by sheer incoherence:

{{quote|"Looks like Legolas has just asked the guards – sorry, the ''gards'' to keep an eye on Laura's room while the orcs are kidnapping her, and... it all gets a bit confused."

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** The commentary reveals this is one of the very few complete relics of [[Joss Whedon]]'s pass at the script.

* Double subversion in ''[[Monsters vs. Aliens]]''. The heroes (who consist of an amorphous blob, a fish-man and a human/cockroach hybrid) adopt [[Paper-Thin Disguise|Paper Thin Disguises]] to bluff their way past an alien clone. He recognises the fake clone as "defective beyond repair"... and immediately orders the other two to dispose of him. And gives them a key card. And a gun.

* The Guards in ''[[Tangled]]''. They cannot find an old lady who has kidnapped the baby princess for almost two decades, when she happened to be in a tower within riding distance. Then said princess' crown gets stolen right under ~~thier~~ noses. Then one of the thieves comes back to Corona later with a girl with 70 feet long of hair and they don't notice it, even though he is dancing around. The only competent member is [[Cool Horse|Maximus]], and {{spoiler|he's the only one to make crime virtually ~~dissapear~~}}.

* The Guards in ''[[Tangled]]''. They cannot find an old lady who has kidnapped the baby princess for almost two decades, when she happened to be in a tower within riding distance. Then said princess' crown gets stolen right under their noses. Then one of the thieves comes back to Corona later with a girl with 70 feet long of hair and they don't notice it, even though he is dancing around. The only competent member is [[Cool Horse|Maximus]], and {{spoiler|he's the only one to make crime virtually disappear}}.

** Not to mention that the same thief was able to walk up to the palace and meet the King and Queen face to face.

* The guards in ''[[The Incredibles]]'' fall prey to a few of these. They're decent enough at their jobs when they're in action, but it's the boring surveillance part of the day that always slips them up. At one point in the movie, they ''all'' leave their posts to check on a colleague who's just collapsed. Later, they don't notice Helen when she's right behind them. She even talks. Later still, nobody is paying attention to the security cameras and are all partying in the background. Only [[Punch Clock Villain|Mirage]] notices the escapees that don't even bother to avoid the security cameras. Most notably, though, is later in the same scene where it gets absurd enough that Bob [[Lampshade Hanging|lampshades]] it. They enter a large room with no one in it and he absently wonders, "Where are all the guards?"

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* Consistent in all the ''[[Austin Powers]]'' movies. One even manages to fall into the lava flow when he's outwitted by Felicity Shagwell's boobs.

* In ''[[Mom and Dad Save The World]]'', a guard, despite being from a planet of idiots, ''doesn't'' assume Dad is a guard just because he's wearing a uniform... however, she unquestioningly accepts the laughable answers he provides in response to her questioning and lets him go on his way.

* [[Playing with a Trope|Played with again]] in ''Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle'', when the racist white prison guards attack a peaceful African American prisoner, thus allowing Kumar to escape with an enormous bag of marijuana.

* [[Playing with a Trope|Played with again]] in ''[[Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle]]'', when the racist white prison guards attack a peaceful African American prisoner, thus allowing Kumar to escape with an enormous bag of marijuana.

* The security guards on the Death Star in ''[[Star Wars]]: A New Hope''. Ben uses a ''[[Jedi Mind Trick]]'' version of this after turning the tractor beam off. This is actually an inversion of [[It's Probably Nothing]]. Presumably, Ben made the guards think they heard something off in the distance, and like intelligent guards they go to investigate. Unfortunately for them, it really was nothing.

** ''Truly'' intelligent guards would have called in to say they were investigating possible contact and ''then'' left to investigate, but we can forgive people under Jedi Mind Trick influence for not thinking of everything.

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* Justified in ''[[THX 1138]]'', in that, though the guards are glaringly incompetent, the general population (with the sole exceptions of the hero and his girlfriend) are too stupid/strung out to notice. For example, the guards routinely leave the doors to a high security prison unlocked, but none of the prisoners had ever bothered to check.

* ''[[Race for the Yankee Zephyr]]'' (1981). A mook standing on the edge of a cliff catches the hero sneaking up, intent on braining him with a lump of wood. Instead of grabbing his rifle the mook begins waving his arms about and howling in a highly exaggerated martial arts style. The hero gapes in astonishment then, as the mook turns to deliver a spinning kick, boots him down the mountainside.

* In ''Charlotte Gray'', which takes place in Nazi-occupied France, the eponymous heroine and a member of the French resistance are being held in a house by Nazis, and manage to distract the guard who's supposed to be watching them by making out, then jump him and run for it when he comes over to separate them.

* In ''[[Charlotte Gray]]'', which takes place in Nazi-occupied France, the eponymous heroine and a member of the French resistance are being held in a house by Nazis, and manage to distract the guard who's supposed to be watching them by making out, then jump him and run for it when he comes over to separate them.

* ''[[The Good, the Bad and the Ugly]]'' (1966). Wallace lets Tuco go relieve himself. ~~BIG~~ mistake.

* ''[[The Good, the Bad and the Ugly]]'' (1966). Wallace lets Tuco go relieve himself. ''Big'' mistake.

* ''[[Idiocracy]]'' "Hey, uh... I'm actually supposed to be getting out of jail, not going back in..."

* ''[[Goldfinger]]''. Played straight with the foolish guard who enters the cell alone while [[James Bond (film)|James Bond]] is performing a [[Ceiling Cling]] and subverted by later multiple guards who's more watchful such as staying in the same cell with one having a pistol trained on Bond at all times.

* In ''[[Night at the Museum]]: Battle of the Smithsonian'', Larry's escapades in the various branches of the Smithsonian along the National Mall go completely unnoticed, as if the entire area is devoid of any human presence save Larry himself. Ironically, Larry is a guard.

* In ''[[Night at the Museum|Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian]]'', Larry's escapades in the various branches of the Smithsonian along the National Mall go completely unnoticed, as if the entire area is devoid of any human presence save Larry himself. Ironically, Larry is a guard.

** Of course, would ~~YOU~~ stick around once the dinosaur skeletons and such started moving?

** Of course, would ''you'' stick around once the dinosaur skeletons and such started moving?

* In Star Trek VI, the Enterprise manages to fly deep into Klingon territory to rescue Kirk and [[McCoy]] despite a listening post picking them up and demanding to know their identity and destination. They manage to fool the completely ~~incompetant~~ guards despite having to resort to using an English-Klingon dictionary to look up their answers and making several grammatical errors during the conversation.

* In ''[[Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country]]'', the Enterprise manages to fly deep into Klingon territory to rescue Kirk and [[McCoy]] despite a listening post picking them up and demanding to know their identity and destination. They manage to fool the completely incompetent guards despite having to resort to using an English-Klingon dictionary to look up their answers and making several grammatical errors during the conversation.

== Gamebooks ==

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** In ''Dawn of the Dragons'', the Eldenorian guards capturing Lone Wolf and bringing him before Prince Lutha take his gold, backpack and weapons... but not the weapon-like special items. Including the [[Infinity+1 Sword|Sommerswerd]]!

*** This one was so glaring that the French version actually [http://projectaon.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=1574&page=1 changed the scene by adding an Eldenorian traitor who brings back his special items to Lone Wolf.]

== Literature ==

* The ''[[Discworld]]'' books have a lot of fun with this.

** In ''[[Discworld/The Last Hero|The Last Hero]]'', Evil Harry Dread (the ~~archetypical~~ [[Evil Overlord]]) ''hires'' his henchmen on the above criteria. "Butcher" is the archetype of the trope.

** In ''[[Discworld/The Last Hero|The Last Hero]]'', Evil Harry Dread (the archetypal [[Evil Overlord]]) ''hires'' his henchmen on the above criteria. "Butcher" is the archetype of the trope.

** ''[[Discworld/Guards! Guards!|Guards! Guards!]]'' opens with a dedication to those people "whose job it is, round about chapter three, to rush at the hero one at a time and be slaughtered."

** In ''[[Discworld/Thud|Thud!]]'', the text mentions how when Sergeant Colon is on guard duty, he "kept the cell keys in a tin box in the bottom drawer of his desk, a long way out of reach of any stick, hand, dog, cunningly thrown belt, or trained Klatchian monkey spider (making Fred Colon possibly unique in the annals of jail history)."

** Seemingly averted in ''[[Discworld/The Last Continent|The Last Continent]]'', where the guards at Bugrup Prison are wise to every escape trope, but haven't worked out how Tinhead Ned (and later Rincewind) ''did'' escape (the jail door can be lifted off its hinges). Possibly because they reckon it makes a better ballad if the prisoner escapes and then gets killed in a last stand at the Post Office.

* In one of the ''[[Get Smart]]'' novels, one guard is particularly immune to this. Instead of entering the cell when Max sets fire to the bed as a diversion, the guard merely opens up on him with the ~~firehose~~.

* In one of the ''[[Get Smart]]'' novels, one guard is particularly immune to this. Instead of entering the cell when Max sets fire to the bed as a diversion, the guard merely opens up on him with the fire hose.

** However, just a few pages later the rest of the guards in the prison are fooled by Max writing "out of order" with a piece of chalk on a death ray!

* Subverted in ''[[The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy (novel)|The ~~Hitchhikers~~ Guide to The Galaxy]]'': Ford attempts to save himself and Arthur from being chucked out an airlock by talking a Vogon guard into questioning the purpose of his life, but the guard is too dumb for Ford to get through to him.

* Subverted in ''[[The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy (novel)|The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy]]'': Ford attempts to save himself and Arthur from being chucked out an airlock by talking a Vogon guard into questioning the purpose of his life, but the guard is too dumb for Ford to get through to him.

** Actually it's just that the guard really enjoys his job. Including the whole throw people out of the airlock part.

* Both fiercely subverted and then played straight in ''An Oblique Approach'', the first book of the [[Belisarius Series]] by David Drake and Eric Flint. The Kushans guarding Princess Shakuntala were so highly disciplined, effective, and intelligently led that Raghunath Rao, greatest assassin in India, knew he could '''never''' rescue her from them. So {{spoiler|Belisarius tricked Venandakatra into '''replacing''' the Kushans with "guards" so inept that Rao had no problem wiping them out -- except for two killed by the princess herself.}}

* Both fiercely subverted and then played straight in ''An Oblique Approach'', the first book of the ''[[Belisarius Series]]'' by David Drake and Eric Flint. The Kushans guarding Princess Shakuntala were so highly disciplined, effective, and intelligently led that Raghunath Rao, greatest assassin in India, knew he could '''never''' rescue her from them. So {{spoiler|Belisarius tricked Venandakatra into '''replacing''' the Kushans with "guards" so inept that Rao had no problem wiping them out -- except for two killed by the princess herself.}}

* The guards at the "best guarded keep of the stoutest castle" in ''[[The Wind in the Willows]]'' apparently can't tell the difference between a washerwoman they see every day and is the sister or sister-in-law of the chief warden, and their main prisoner, who is an anthropomorphic toad.

* ''[[John Carter of Mars]]''. Dear GOD, if a strange man climbs up to the roof you're guarding, tells you what a difficult and dangerous climb he had, and invites you to take a look at how precariously his rope is dangling off the edge, DON'T DO IT!

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* Subverted in the novel ''[[Where Eagles Dare]]''. The German soldiers searching for the commandos don't check the ladies toilet where they're hiding. When one commando mentions how stupid that is, his superior points out the soldiers were eager to think up excuses to avoid searching places where desperate men might empty a submachine gun into them.

* In ''Syren'', the fifth book of the ''[[Septimus Heap]]'' series, Septimus gets past a guard in the Trading Post by claiming that he is someone important.

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* Late in the [[Wooden Ships and Iron Men]] novel ''[[The Black Cockade]]'' by Victor Suthren, a British ship's crew guarding the mouth of a port fails to realize that British-style cheering — "Huzzah!" — in response to "What ship are you?" is ''not'' proof that the ship sailing out in the dark of night isn't crewed by escaping French prisoners of war.

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* Played for laughs in [[William Shakespeare]]'s ''[[Much Ado About Nothing]]''.

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{{quote|'''Dogberry:''' You are to bid any man stand, in the Prince's name. ~~'''Verges:''' How if a' will not stand? \\'''Dogberry:''' Why, take no note of him, but let him go.}}~~

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* Late in the [[Wooden Ships and Iron Men]] novel ''The Black Cockade'' by Victor Suthren, a British ship's crew guarding the mouth of a port fails to realize that British-style cheering — "Huzzah!" — in response to "What ship are you?" is ''~~'''NOT'''~~'' proof that the ship sailing out in the dark of night isn't crewed by escaping French prisoners of war.

== Live-Action TV ==

* ''[[The Chaser's War on Everything]]'' proved this was [[Truth in Television]] at the [http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2007/09/06/1188783415730.html APEC summit], getting to George W. Bush's hotel, past two security checkpoints in a fake motorcade, with "insecurity passes" that stated they were ~~NOT~~ official delegates. And a guy dressed as Osama bin Laden in the back seat. See it [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3zKuLgH_l8 here].

* ''[[The Chaser's War on Everything]]'' proved this was [[Truth in Television]] at the [http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2007/09/06/1188783415730.html APEC summit], getting to George W. Bush's hotel, past two security checkpoints in a fake motorcade, with "insecurity passes" that stated they were ''not'' official delegates. And a guy dressed as Osama bin Laden in the back seat. See it [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3zKuLgH_l8 here].

** The motorcade had ''runners with handheld cameras.'' Even the Chaser boys themselves started to get scared at how easy it was for them to get in—they'd been expecting to be stopped at the very first checkpoint! The were finally nabbed when their motorcade began turning around, and "Osama" decided to exit his vehicle and began asking guards why he hadn't been invited. As one ~~commentor~~ pointed out, it appears that day the world's leaders were mainly under the protection of the ''honour system''.

** The motorcade had ''runners with handheld cameras.'' Even the Chaser boys themselves started to get scared at how easy it was for them to get in—they'd been expecting to be stopped at the very first checkpoint! The were finally nabbed when their motorcade began turning around, and "Osama" decided to exit his vehicle and began asking guards why he hadn't been invited. As one commenter pointed out, it appears that day the world's leaders were mainly under the protection of the ''honour system''.

* ''[[Doctor Who]]'':

** [[Playing with a Trope|Played with]] in the episode "[[Doctor Who/Recap/S24/E04 Dragonfire|Dragonfire]]", when the Doctor distracts a guard by engaging him in a philosophical discussion on the nature of existence, a subject about which the guard is particularly enthusiastic.

** [[Playing with a Trope|Played with]] in the episode [[Doctor Who/Recap/S24/E04 Dragonfire|"Dragonfire"]], when the Doctor distracts a guard by engaging him in a philosophical discussion on the nature of existence, a subject about which the guard is particularly enthusiastic.

** Both averted and played straight in "[[Doctor Who/Recap/S18/E04 State of Decay|State of Decay]]"—one of the guards recognises that the man claiming to be a guard is, in fact, a known deserter. But the other doesn't... and falls for "the old prisoner trick".

** Both averted and played straight in [[Doctor Who/Recap/S18/E04 State of Decay|"State of Decay"]]—one of the guards recognises that the man claiming to be a guard is, in fact, a known deserter. But the other doesn't... and falls for "the old prisoner trick".

** Lampshaded in the ~~epsiode~~ "Deadly Assassin" by Security Chief Spandrell's criticisms of Commander Hilred for allowing the Doctor to escape:

** Lampshaded in the episode "Deadly Assassin" by Security Chief Spandrell's criticisms of Commander Hilred for allowing the Doctor to escape:

{{quote|'''Spandrell:''' Well done, Hilred. An antiquated capsule, for which you get adequate early warning, transducts on the very steps of the Capital. You are warned that the occupant is a known criminal, therefore you allow him to escape and conceal himself in a building a mere 53 stories high. A clever stratagem, Hildred. You're trying to confuse him, I take it? }}

* ''[[The A-Team]]''. Many a villain has been laid low by not paying attention to machine sounds after [[Locking MacGyver in the Store Cupboard]]. There was a particularly [[Egregious]] instance where Hannibal and Face are arrested. Hannibal seems to have escaped, so the sheriff unlocks his cell and checks inside, then both he and ''the other officer in the building'' leave to find him... when Hannibal turns out to be hiding under the bed and promptly lets Face out and escapes.

* ''[[Hogan's Heroes]]'' is pretty much entirely built around this trope.

** "Schuuuuultz!"

* ''[[Merlin (TV series)|Merlin]]''

** In the first episode, two guards go chasing off after some enchanted dice.

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* Subverted in ''[[Dark Angel]]'' when Max tries to distract a guard with a rock, but he isn't fooled. She laments, "Why did I get the smart one?"

* ''[[Star Trek]]''

** [[Star Trek: The Original Series|In the Original Series]], one particularly ridiculous scene has a guard of an enemy installation watch calmly and without taking action as Spock walks up to him and informs of an imaginary "multi-legged creature" on his shoulder.

** In [[Star Trek: The Original Series|the Original Series]], one particularly ridiculous scene has a guard of an enemy installation watch calmly and without taking action as Spock walks up to him and informs of an imaginary "multi-legged creature" on his shoulder.

** Also seen in the episode "Space Seed" in which Khan, a man described as being strong enough to lift two men with one hand, has but a single guard keeping him prisoner. Suffice to say the guard doesn't last long. To their credit, when Khan is defeated and tried, he has multiple ~~baliffs~~ on him holding him at phaser point.

** Also seen in the episode "Space Seed" in which Khan, a man described as being strong enough to lift two men with one hand, has but a single guard keeping him prisoner. Suffice to say the guard doesn't last long. To their credit, when Khan is defeated and tried, he has multiple bailiffs on him holding him at phaser point.

*** Possibly averted in that at the time Khan is being guarded by only one security officer, he is not a prisoner and he's also in the hospital. It's actually more security than Trek average to keep the distressed castaway you just pulled out of a cryo-capsule under a full-time security escort. Of course, the instant Khan proves himself to be hostile by attacking his escort the next step involves the aforementioned squad of guys pointing phasers at him.

** The [[Space Marine|M.A.C.O's]] in the next ''Trek'' series ''[[Enterprise]]'' acted [[Show Some Leg|a bit more professionally]].

** The [[Space Marine|M.A.C.O.s]] in the next ''Trek'' series ''[[Enterprise]]'' acted [[Show Some Leg|a bit more professionally]].

* ''[[Star Trek: Voyager]]''

** In "The Killing Game," two guards find Harry Kim suspicious and stop him to for questioning. He convinces them to let him go with this line: "All right! You'd better call the bridge. Tell your superior I'm going to be late, that I'm working under your orders now, not his. Go ahead, make the call. I don't want to take the blame for this."

** Standard procedure for security personnel on ''Voyager'' is to stand in the formal "at-ease" position, looking straight ahead (not at the person they're guarding) so they can be knocked unconscious at a suitably plot-related moment.

* From a review of the ''[[Blake's 7~~|Blakes Seven~~]]'' episode "Bounty".

* From a review of the ''[[Blake's 7]]'' episode "Bounty".

{{quote|"...to say nothing of the guards' color codes, which include [[Red Alert|Red Standby Alert]] (apparently meaning stand around and do nothing), Red Mobilisation (wander around outside the house), and Blue Mobilisation (allow the President and his daughter to escape in a vintage car accompanied by two terrorists)."}}

* Averted in ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'': ''"Why do I always get the smart ones?"''

* In season 3 of ''[[Lost]]'', Sawyer tries the whole "prisoners making out" thing to get the guards to come over when he kisses Kate, then overpowers them and takes their gun. It doesn't work, though.

* Subverted in ''[[Battlestar Galactica ~~Reimagined]]~~'' in that when someone escapes from a cell it's either ({{spoiler|Bulldog, and later Ellen Tigh}} escaping from the Cylon basestar) or because the guards are in on things (Laura Roslin in Season 2, and Tom Zarek during [[The Mutiny]]). Probably the least plausible occasion is when Gina escapes from the Pegasus brig, makes her way to Admiral Cain's quarters and shoots her, ''and then'' slips off the battlestar unnoticed. Although she had the help of Baltar, a uniform and things were chaotic in the aftermath of a major attack, it still stretched the bounds of credibility.

* Subverted in [[Battlestar Galactica (2004 TV series)|the 2004 reimagining of ''Battlestar Galactica'']], in that when someone escapes from a cell it's either ({{spoiler|Bulldog, and later Ellen Tigh}} escaping from the Cylon basestar) or because the guards are in on things (Laura Roslin in Season 2, and Tom Zarek during [[The Mutiny]]). Probably the least plausible occasion is when Gina escapes from the ''Pegasus'' brig, makes her way to Admiral Cain's quarters and shoots her, ''and then'' slips off the battlestar unnoticed. Although she had the help of Baltar, a uniform and things were chaotic in the aftermath of a major attack, it still stretched the bounds of credibility.

** And played straight when you consider that with all the little ''[[Thrown Out the Airlock|accidents]]'' happening there, no one comes up with the bright idea of placing a guard at the airlocks. This is justifiable in the beginning when Galactica is massively understaffed, but not so much in the later seasons.

** And played straight when you consider that with all the little ''[[Thrown Out the Airlock|accidents]]'' happening there, no one comes up with the bright idea of placing a guard at the airlocks. This is justifiable in the beginning when ''Galactica'' is massively understaffed, but not so much in the later seasons.

* In the ''[[Babylon 5]]'' episode "Between the Darkness and the Light", Garibaldi plays on his recent media fame in capturing Sheridan to break him out again. This gets him past the outer guard, but the cell guards aren't so impressed.

{{quote|'''Guard:''' I don't watch TV. It's a cultural wasteland filled with inappropriate metaphors and an unrealistic portrayal of life created by the liberal media elite.}}

** Of course, he's also working for a regime that's anything ''but'' liberal and, by that point, all media in the Earth Alliance is government-controlled (except for the Voice of the Resistance).

* Subverted in the ''[[Knight Rider]]'' episode, "Indecent Little Town," when the corrupt police arrest Michael Knight and impound KITT. Specifically, when the Mooks try to secure the robot car, he resists by backing up each time they try. Although obviously surprised at this, the head Mook calmly advises one of his minions to simply provoke KITT into backing continually until the robot car inadvertently rolls onto a car garage elevator platform and they elevate it, trapping KITT.

* Subverted in the ''[[Knight Rider]]'' episode "Indecent Little Town," when the corrupt police arrest Michael Knight and impound KITT. Specifically, when the Mooks try to secure the robot car, he resists by backing up each time they try. Although obviously surprised at this, the head Mook calmly advises one of his minions to simply provoke KITT into backing continually until the robot car inadvertently rolls onto a car garage elevator platform and they elevate it, trapping KITT.

* The team on ''[[Leverage]]'' regularly talk their way past security but they usually have fake IDs and the guards are standard office building rent-a-cops. However, in one episode Hardison talks his way past security to get into an airport's control tower. He has an employee ID but it is for a female employee so he makes a big deal of how he is in the middle of a sex change and the guards are too embarrassed to pursue this further. The danger of their negligence becomes apparent when Hardison almost causes a plane to crash. There is a reason why security at airports is supposed to be very tight. Also, the man in charge of the tower, apparently, doesn't know who's supposed to be working for him.

* Played straight in episode 6.21 of ''[[Supernatural (TV series)|Supernatural]]''. The mooks who guarded {{spoiler|Lisa and Ben}} heard fighting noises outside the room, and went there one by one.

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** Depends on the DM. Most play the trope straight because guards tend not to be treated as more than minor enemies. Those skills are mainly intended to counteract Hide, Move Silently, and Bluff. In addition, those skills are not infallible unless the DM hands NPCs the [[Idiot Ball]]. For example, no matter what your Hide skill is, if you walk in front of a guard without some form of cover, he sees you, no matter what.

** In 3.5 Scouts used as guards can avert this trope hard. The class is much like Rogue in this regard (Spot, Listen and Sense Motive as class skills, 8 base skill points per level; Hide and Move Silently are class skills, so they can stand guard without being readily visible), but better in head-on melee if there is some room to move around as Skirmish ability still works when Sneak Attack doesn't, has better hit die, and more combat and mobility improvements, starting with initiative bonus at 2nd level.

* [[Older Than Print]]: In [[Xiangqi]], the checkmated General/King's own Advisors/Guards are often part of the reason it's ~~checkmate~~; there would be escape if they weren't there, and sometimes the one the enemy Cannon is using as a gun mount cannot move because it's in a corner of the Palace and the other Advisor/Guard is in its way.

* [[Older Than Print]]: In ''[[Xiangqi]]'', the checkmated General/King's own Advisors/Guards are often part of the reason it's checkmated; there would be escape if they weren't there, and sometimes the one the enemy Cannon is using as a gun mount cannot move because it's in a corner of the Palace and the other Advisor/Guard is in its way.

* ''Time Lord'' RPG (based on ''[[Doctor Who]]'') main rules, "Curse of the Cyclops" adventure. If the entire [[PC]] party is captured and there is no one to rescue them, the guards will demonstrate their usual stupidity and allow the prisoners to fool them and escape.

** In the ''Journies'' supplement, a captured [[PC]] could use "The Daft Guard Effect" to distract any guards present so the prisoner(s) can escape.

== Theater ==

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* Played for laughs in [[William Shakespeare]]'s ''[[Much Ado About Nothing]]''.

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{{quote|'''Dogberry:''' You are to bid any man stand, in the Prince's name.

'''Verges:''' How if a' will not stand?

'''Dogberry:''' Why, take no note of him, but let him go.}}

== Video Games ==

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** This is lampshaded by a boss in the aforesaid Shattered Halls dungeon, who will actually comment as you individually kill his henchmen. "Go ahead. I was going to kill him anyway." In fact if you don't attack them he ''will'' kill them, one by one, then attack you.

* ''Very'' heavily averted by the guards in 1998's ''Robin Hood'' game by Red Ant. The guards were extremely clever. They even noticed if one of their partners was missing. Basically, the way it worked was that the guards would walk in a predetermined path, and if they did not meet up with their partner after a few laps, then they got frustrated and would go looking for their friends. If they did not find them, then they would curse loudly, and tell their immediate superior. If the Lieutenant got at least three "My mate's vanished!" reports, then a man would be sent to ring the alarm bell. On top of that, If a group of guards spotted you, some would stay while one or two ran off to set off the alarm. On top of that, these guards would often surround you and your men, and while one held you, the other would stab into you repeatedly, often resulting in death. They fought dirty, they played dirty, and if you were spotted just once, patrols would be sent out to find you. Pretty amazing for a game made in 1998, huh?

* [[Shinobido]]'s guards are not really clever, but they're smart enough for some nasty (for you) actions, including:

* ''[[Shinobido]]''{{'}}s guards are not really clever, but they're smart enough for some nasty (for you) actions, including:

** Going on "Alert" mode if they spot a dead fellow.

** Ring the alarm bells if they spot you.

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* Another aversion comes with the Guard Dogs in ''[[King's Quest VI]]''. Alex has to get creative, either by magic or by using his small build and what amounts to a [[wikipedia:Burqa|burqa]] to get past. Even then, he'd better not get busted. Saladin, true to his namesake, is not an idiot.

* Another aversion from Sierra: most of the ''[[Space Quest]]'' games. In the third, the Scumsoft guards have their eyes locked on Roger, waiting for a screw-up. If Roger passes a wastebasket without cleaning it, the gig's up. The Puckoids in the fifth are trigger-happy and extremely nasty, and only screw up by leaving their engineering section under light guard - but justified as the they totally were not expecting anyone to {{spoiler|break in ''through'' the hull}}. The Sequel Police in the fourth (or 10th and 12th) vary wildly between straight and aversion, as they leave a time pod unguarded at one point, but are very dogged in hunting Roger down, and shoot on sight, leaving Roger to get creative in dodging them. Another line-straddler is the opening scene of the first game. Roger needs to go a lot of dodging to get past the Sariens that have ''brutally massacred'' everyone else on the Arcada. Still, they do forget to check obvious hiding places.

** Then you have the two thugs who capture Roger in ''Space Quest 6''. Roger is able to quickly remove his handcuffs and neutralize the one who wasn't even watching him. Then you walk out into the other room, where the other thug is unconcerned with you roaming free, simply telling you not to bother him. Partly (with a stretch) justified in that the exit is blocked by a [[Deflector Shield|~~forcefield~~]] that can only be shut off by a remote on the second thug's belt.

** Then you have the two thugs who capture Roger in ''Space Quest 6''. Roger is able to quickly remove his handcuffs and neutralize the one who wasn't even watching him. Then you walk out into the other room, where the other thug is unconcerned with you roaming free, simply telling you not to bother him. Partly (with a stretch) justified in that the exit is blocked by a [[Deflector Shield|force field]] that can only be shut off by a remote on the second thug's belt.

** Also, attempting to knock out one of the guards to the SCS ''DeepShip 86'' ~~shuttlebay~~ results in the other one (a bigger one) punching Roger out and throwing him into the brig (which is also ridiculously easy to escape by {{spoiler|building a likeness of Roger out of food and hiding under a food cart}}). No one also bats an eyelash at Roger {{spoiler|stealing medical supplies}} at sickbay.

** Also, attempting to knock out one of the guards to the SCS ''DeepShip 86'' shuttle bay results in the other one (a bigger one) punching Roger out and throwing him into the brig (which is also ridiculously easy to escape by {{spoiler|building a likeness of Roger out of food and hiding under a food cart}}). No one also bats an eyelash at Roger {{spoiler|stealing medical supplies}} at sickbay.

* Played completely straight in ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', where you can take out guards one by one trigger alarms as often as you want, but after 90 seconds everything is back to normal, with dead guards not being replaced.

** Starting with ''[[Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty]]'', however, it gets averted very hard. When guards notice something odd, they will call in immediately before going to investigate. If they don't report back in time, more guards will be dispatched to look for them. And even when everything is clear, guards are required to report in every few minutes, or a search team is dispatched to investigate. And when full alarm is triggered, it takes just a few seconds for reinforcements to arrive [[There Is No Kill Like Overkill|with riot shields, shotguns, and grenades]]. Unless there's an opportunity for an [[Air Vent Passageway]] escape nearby, you can prepare to load an old save by that point.

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*** The famous "they can't see you if you put a bucket on their head" [[Good Bad Bug]].

*** [http://cheezburger.com/8793861120 Trying to arrest some fish].

* In ''[[City of Heroes]]'', mobs of enemies will usually ignore fights going on in plain sight halfway across the room ~~with automatic weapons~~.

* In ''[[City of Heroes]]'', mobs of enemies will usually ignore fights with automatic weapons going on in plain sight halfway across the room.

** There are a couple CoH missions where you are given a temporary power that is basically a guard suit. You can walk past any guard and get the objectives of the mission completed without anyone being the wiser. This wouldn't be bad if it didn't work on any enemy NPC in the game. Including a faction that actively hates the faction you are dressing up as.

* In ''[[Beyond Good & Evil (video game)|Beyond Good and Evil]]'', the heroine can shoot a projectile into a guard's air tank—and unless she's in plain sight or really unlucky, the other guards present will just fix the tank, then declare "false alarm" and get back to their business.

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** Even if their [[Apathy Killed the Cat|suicidal lack of curiosity]] didn't earn them a Darwin Award, their general behaviour would. They spend most of their guarding time walking or turning in slow circles or standing in one place ''facing a wall''. And their commanders aren't any more intelligent. One happily reports to his superior that all intruders in the area have been captured... while one stands in the middle of an empty room in his direct line of view.

* ''[[The Legend of Zelda]]'' examples:

** In the early stealth portion of the Forsaken Fortress in ''[[The Legend of Zelda: The ~~Wind Waker|The Legend of Zelda the~~ Wind Waker]]'', Moblins patrol small areas of the fortress, and if they see you, it's into the prison with you. However, there are barrels that you can hide in. You can even move about as long as they're not looking, because the fact that a barrel is somewhere that it wasn't tells them ''absolutely nothing''. This is possibly justified by their being explicitly stated to be really, really stupid. Even worse, the cell they throw Link into has a tunnel leading out of it concealed by a clay pot, as in, an object that Link is prone to break when he sees it.

** In the early stealth portion of the Forsaken Fortress in ''[[The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker]]'', Moblins patrol small areas of the fortress, and if they see you, it's into the prison with you. However, there are barrels that you can hide in. You can even move about as long as they're not looking, because the fact that a barrel is somewhere that it wasn't tells them ''absolutely nothing''. This is possibly justified by their being explicitly stated to be really, really stupid. Even worse, the cell they throw Link into has a tunnel leading out of it concealed by a clay pot, as in, an object that Link is prone to break when he sees it.

** Speaking of Zelda, the guards in ''[[The Legend of Zelda: ~~Ocarina of Time|The Legend of Zelda~~ Ocarina of Time]]'' don't react unless you're several feet in front of them.

** Speaking of Zelda, the guards in ''[[The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time]]'' don't react unless you're several feet in front of them.

** The smartest one in the game is an automated statue that spits lasers at you with alarming accuracy (well, alarming when you account for the fact that they're only about a second slow, and in real life, that would be close enough to scare the crap out of most anyone. Certainly a twelve-year-old like Link).

** It's pretty much established that also the guards of Hyrule castle are, well... dumb, without exception. No matter what time period the game in question plays in ([[Continuity Snarl|not that we would know]])), the guards never seem to notice anyone walking by, if he's not right before their eyes. Even Princess Zelda has been mentioned to sneak out of the castle with no problems ~~frequently~~. The only time the guards actually keep something from going in- or outside is in Majora's Mask. And this almost ensured the Termian apocalypse.

** It's pretty much established that also the guards of Hyrule castle are, well... dumb, without exception. No matter what time period the game in question plays in ([[Continuity Snarl|not that we would know]])), the guards never seem to notice anyone walking by, if he's not right before their eyes. Even Princess Zelda has been mentioned to frequently sneak out of the castle with no problems. The only time the guards actually keep something from going in- or outside is in ''Majora's Mask''. And this almost ensured the Termian apocalypse.

** One of the most blatant examples is the Gerudo Fortress section in ''Ocarina of Time''. For some reason, even after the 20th time you escape, they still can't be bothered to take away your hookshot...

*** Or care to act when Link shoots one of the guards in the open. They just ignore the fallen body. Their pirate counterparts in ~~[[Majoras~~ Mask]] do the same plus will completely ignore Link if he's wearing a certain mask despite following him with their eyes, partially justified in that said mask's ability is to make Link as uninteresting as a stone.

*** Or care to act when Link shoots one of the guards in the open. They just ignore the fallen body. Their pirate counterparts in ''Majora's Mask'' do the same plus will completely ignore Link if he's wearing a certain mask despite following him with their eyes, partially justified in that said mask's ability is to make Link as uninteresting as a stone.

** Speaking of ''Majora's Mask'', the guards are ''very'' diligent about keeping children from wandering out of town to the 'dangerous' wilds, to the point that they will do nothing to stop a little old lady from getting robbed in plain sight, by a thief who makes no attempt to conceal his identity. Even assuming there was some pressing issue preventing them from stopping the robbery, there's no reason they wouldn't recognize him when he walks back into town the very next day to sell the stolen goods to the curio shop next door.

** [[Phantom Hourglass|The Phantom Guardians]], as [[Animated Armor|cool as they might look]], are not even the tiniest bit smarter than any other kind of guard in the series. They ''fail'' to realize that a kid just took refuge in the Safe Zones, even though they chased it right until it did. They ''fail'' to dodge any eventual trap that Link sets up for them. They ''fail'' to realize that one of the collegues [[Spirit Tracks|has just]] [[Demonic Possession|been possessed]] [[Our Ghosts Are Different|with what is]] [[Princesses Prefer Pink|quite obviously a female (and over the top girly) ghost.]]

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** In the original ''[[Castle Wolfenstein]]'', you could steal a uniform and wear it; the regular guards would generally ignore you, but the SS would find you out.

** Fast-forward to more modern games in the franchise, at the beginning of ''[[Wolfenstein: The Old Blood]]'', protagonist B.J. Blazkowicz is caught by the enemy and tossed in the Jail Pit. Fortunately for him, there’s a pipe he can climb to the top, where the stupid guards have left the grate open. Unfortunately, the pipe breaks when he tries it. Fortunately, he can then use the broken pipe like climbing spikes to scale the wall, and find the gate in front of the pit has also been left wide open. Unfortunately, there’s a nasty-looking robot patrolling the area. Fortunately, all B.J. has to do to ''defeat'' it is [[Cut the Juice| throw a switch on a generator]] that shuts it off. Then the game truly begins, and he can start busting Nazi heads.

* Guards in ''[[GoldenEye 007 (1997 video game)|Golden Eye 1997]]'' must be blind and extremely nearsighted, because a patrolling guard will not bother to investigate the sound of gunfire even if you are using the loudest weaponry and they don't seem to notice you until you're almost right in front of you.

** You can also shoot their hats off their heads without getting a response.

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** The worst part in all of this is that the Majestic 12 armored troops will notice said colleagues' bodies... so it's not an engine limitation. Other guards are just * that* stupid.

** The AI has improved significantly in the ''[[Deus Ex: Human Revolution|third game]]''. The game still plays with the trope though with some guards being programmed to be incompetent. For example, there are a number of guards that are easy to sneak up on because they are talking, watching TV, smoking, napping, or engaging in some other activity that is distracting them.

* In ''Stubbs the Zombie: Rebel Without a Pulse'' in one of the first levels the player may gain control of a policeman by using the protagonist's arm. Other policemen won't notice the odd one unless he has a gun out, despite wearing a zombie arm as a hat.

* In ''[[Stubbs the Zombie|Stubbs the Zombie: Rebel Without a Pulse]]'' in one of the first levels the player may gain control of a policeman by using the protagonist's arm. Other policemen won't notice the odd one unless he has a gun out, despite wearing a zombie arm as a hat.

* The guards in ''[[Perfect Dark]] 64'' are pretty smart. Blast a couple, the survivors will run for the alarm button. Snipe one, his buddy will run up and yell in despair (at which point you slay him also). But the good guy guards aren't always the smartest. You can tranq a stewardess for Air Force One (!) with a crossbow bolt (huge, works if it goes in her brain) and steal her uniform. Nobody checks your ID, even though your guard detail is long gone. In an earlier level, helicopter pilots will shoot through their (female) colleagues to get to you.

** Even funnier, if you shoot a guard who is not aware of you, they will occasionally say in a curious tone "Was that a bullet?"

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* In ''[[Ōkami|Okami]]'', the Imp guards outside the main part of the [[Disc One Final Dungeon|Moon Cave]] dismiss Amaterasu as a normal wolf (perfectly reasonable though, in that only a few can see her [[Facial Markings|markings]]), but when she comes back wearing a ''[[Paper-Thin Disguise|piece of paper over her face]]'', they immediately let Ammy through, telling her to "Get back to [her] post!"

* The military in ''[[Prototype (video game)|Prototype]]'' takes this to ridiculous extremes. Random Marine jumping off a skyscraper, flying into the base, landing hard enough to make an impact crater, and proceeding to run up the walls? When it's well-known that your highest-priority target is a [[Voluntary Shapeshifter]]? Perfectly normal, apparently.

** One assumes that the individual soldiers on patrol do realise that it's you, but really, what would ''you'' do in this situation: an insanely powerful shapeshifter ([[One-Man Army|who is perfectly capable of soloing whole platoons of tanks and helicopter gunships]], not to mention the not-unusual 10,000+ [[I Am a Humanitarian|onomnom]] count on the random infantry ~~shmucks~~ exactly like you) runs past, not stopping to eat or eviscerate you. Him not stopping makes you the luckiest man alive at that moment in time. If you try and stop him by yourself, what chance exactly do you have against someone who tanks missiles to the face, and can jump off a helicopter he tore apart mid-flight, land on a tank, pick up said tank and throw it into another helicopter? If you call in backup, you only draw attention to yourself and/or place yourself in the middle of what ''will'' turn into a bloody warzone with artillery strikes, carpet bombing and airstrikes all over the place, not to mention one suddenly-pissed-off [[One-Man Army]]. The solo guards who don't call in the insanely overpowered, flying, super mutant are simply showing [[Artificial Brilliance|an advanced sense of self-preservation]].

** One assumes that the individual soldiers on patrol do realise that it's you, but really, what would ''you'' do in this situation: an insanely powerful shapeshifter ([[One-Man Army|who is perfectly capable of soloing whole platoons of tanks and helicopter gunships]], not to mention the not-unusual 10,000+ [[I Am a Humanitarian|onomnom]] count on the random infantry schmucks exactly like you) runs past, not stopping to eat or eviscerate you. Him not stopping makes you the luckiest man alive at that moment in time. If you try and stop him by yourself, what chance exactly do you have against someone who tanks missiles to the face, and can jump off a helicopter he tore apart mid-flight, land on a tank, pick up said tank and throw it into another helicopter? If you call in backup, you only draw attention to yourself and/or place yourself in the middle of what ''will'' turn into a bloody warzone with artillery strikes, carpet bombing and airstrikes all over the place, not to mention one suddenly-pissed-off [[One-Man Army]]. The solo guards who don't call in the insanely overpowered, flying, super mutant are simply showing [[Artificial Brilliance|an advanced sense of self-preservation]].

** Need to get rid of a soldier, but he and a buddy have covering fields of vision so you can't stealth kill either of them? If you disguise yourself as a soldier and bump into one enough, he'll turn toward you and shove you away, then ''remain facing that direction''. Even if there's just a wall right in front of his face.

** You can also use a combination of the "Patsy" power and the "stealth consume" to stealth-kill an entire combat base full of Marines and Blackwatch personnel. This causes much humor when you realize that ''an entire base full of heavily armed guards'' is slowly disappearing and ''nobody notices''. Even if it's just you and another guard left. But whatever you do, don't try Patsy on him. Because only then will he think something is wrong.

* ''[[Evil Genius (video game)|Evil Genius]]'' plays this absolutely straight and quite deliberately. Your [[Evil Minions]] will outright ''ignore'' any agent of the forces of justice unless they've been tagged for execution or capture. These include squads of heavily-armed soldiers, thieves in brightly-colored [[Spy Catsuit]]s, [[Highly-Visible Ninja]], and musclebound ~~supersoldiers~~ [[Dual-Wielding]] ~~machineguns~~.

* ''[[Evil Genius (video game)|Evil Genius]]'' plays this absolutely straight and quite deliberately. Your [[Evil Minions]] will outright ''ignore'' any agent of the forces of justice unless they've been tagged for execution or capture. These include squads of heavily-armed soldiers, thieves in brightly-colored [[Spy Catsuit]]s, [[Highly-Visible Ninja]], and musclebound super-soldiers [[Dual-Wielding]] machine guns.

** The infiltrating agents showcase an unusual variant of this. Locked doors are understandably much more interesting to them than an unlocked door. However, the end result is that if you lower the security level on the door an agent is trying to break through, they will usually lose interest immediately and wander off.

* ''[[Super Mario Bros.]].'': Why Princess Peach still pays her guards is a source of continual mystification to ~~videogame~~ fans. She'd have better luck with a "Do not kidnap the Princess" sign than her usual group of Toads.

* ''[[Super Mario Bros.]].'': Why Princess Peach still pays her guards is a source of continual mystification to video game fans. She'd have better luck with a "Do not kidnap the Princess" sign than her usual group of Toads.

** Also, the kings in ''[[Super Mario Bros 3]]''. They have, in the entirety of the royal castles, one guard for each king in each country, and being as that guard is a Toad, said guard gets instantly knocked out by a Koopaling just charging at it.

** On the other side of the conflict, the Koopa guards in ''[[Paper Mario (franchise)|Paper Mario]]'' are also pretty pathetic. If they catch Peach sneaking around the castle, they'll usually just escort her back to her room and go back to whatever they were doing beforehand without ever questioning how she keeps getting out. At one point, they decide not to take her back, because they're about to hold a quiz show and still need one more contestant.

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* Subverted in ''Sanity: Aiken's Artifact''. The main guard blocks you pretty well, until you {{spoiler|read the guard's mind to find out the employee password.}}

* According to some playthroughs, the AI in ''[[Civilization]] IV'' will occasionally [[Artificial Stupidity|remove defending units from its capital city which you are currently besieging]]. [[Sarcasm Mode|You weren't actually going to attack, right?]]

* In ''[[RuneScape]]'', This is acknowledged during a cut-scene in the "Garden of ~~Tranquillity~~" Quest, where a "veteran" guard explains to a new recruit that the life expectancy for a Falador guard is about 30 seconds, which upon saying that a high-~~levelled~~ "player" comes and slaughters both of them.

* In ''[[RuneScape]]'', This is acknowledged during a cut-scene in the "Garden of Tranquility" Quest, where a "veteran" guard explains to a new recruit that the life expectancy for a Falador guard is about 30 seconds, which upon saying that a high-leveled "player" comes and slaughters both of them.

* In ''[[Dragon Quest IX]]'', Your character is imprisoned some time into the game. At first glance, you would think this was averted. However, press Y and open your equipment menu... This results in a few funny instances, such as guards bossing someone in full plate armor and carrying a sword that shoots fire.

* The ''[[Fable (video game series)|Fable]]'' series has quite a bit of this. In ''[[Fable (video game)|Fable I]]'', should you break a window, someone nearby will tell the guards, which they will charge after you and proceed to hack you into little bits should you decide not to pay them. Same thing if you just committed total genocide on a village, but should you apologize to the guards, they immediately forgive you and continue on their merry way.

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* At one point in the 1989 computer RPG ''Dragon Wars'', the party gets captured and thrown into a jail cell (for the second time) and this trope comes into play, as the guards seemingly ''forget to lock your cell door!'' It turns out to be a subversion when you enter the next room, where the guards happen to be waiting for you. It seems these guards got into a lot of trouble for beating prisoners in their cells. But if the prisoners were ''trying to escape...''

* Marines in the 2010 ''[[Alien vs. Predator]]'' are remarkably blasé about having all their mates disappear one-by-one only to show up again as scattered corpses lacking in skulls/spines, or with a rather telling hole in their head. They also decide to check out on strange distorted verbal taunts originating from nearby isolated corners alone, without bringing backup, and will stand around with their backs turned mumbling "I'm sure it came from over here..." for a good few minutes. [[Too Dumb to Live|Even if said isolated corner already contains three to four corpses of previously mentioned dead marines with their skulls missing]].

* The ''[[Hitman]]'' series has what can only be described as highly jittery bunch of guards, often resorting to gunfire at the slightly infraction or social gaff. While the series has steadily improved with each release (giving warnings, pushing you out when entering a restricted zone), it is still often the case that being seen entering the wrong room without the right outfit, playing with a light switch or ''running'' will cause all the guards to ~~immedietly~~ open fire on your shiny-bald self. Clearly, social niceties are [[Serious Business]] in the Hitman universe.

* The ''[[Hitman]]'' series has what can only be described as highly jittery bunch of guards, often resorting to gunfire at the slightly infraction or social gaff. While the series has steadily improved with each release (giving warnings, pushing you out when entering a restricted zone), it is still often the case that being seen entering the wrong room without the right outfit, playing with a light switch or ''running'' will cause all the guards to immediately open fire on your shiny-bald self. Clearly, social niceties are [[Serious Business]] in the ''Hitman'' universe.

** The Hitman guards are odd overall and tend to have an [[All Crimes Are Equal]] attitude to everything, i.e. they shoot on sight even if the room is full of screaming civilians. And, in one mission, if you alert the police (say by trying to enter a nightclub wearing the wrong costume) then they will proceed to gun you down as you flee through a crowded street during a parade (the civilians make nice bullet shields). But just to Hitman, case point being the last mission in Blood Money; sneak a gun in a briefcase yourself? The guards shoot you full of holes. Sneak the gun in in someone else's case? Said civilian is escorted for questioning and said case is conveniently left for your retrieval.

** The ''Hitman'' guards are odd overall and tend to have an [[All Crimes Are Equal]] attitude to everything, i.e. they shoot on sight even if the room is full of screaming civilians. And, in one mission, if you alert the police (say by trying to enter a nightclub wearing the wrong costume) then they will proceed to gun you down as you flee through a crowded street during a parade (the civilians make nice bullet shields). But just to ''Hitman'', case point being the last mission in "Blood Money"; sneak a gun in a briefcase yourself? The guards shoot you full of holes. Sneak the gun in in someone else's case? Said civilian is escorted for questioning and said case is conveniently left for your retrieval.

** Oh and the general stupidity. Step one, flick the lights off. Step two, strangle the guard as he comes to switch them back on. Step three, wait for guard to find body. Repeat.

** Also, in Blood Money they are fairly *ahem* unceremonious with the bodies of their dead buddies. The standard treatment is bag and tag in a black body bag and then *drag* said body bag across the floor, up stairs, through water, past civilians, sometimes leaving a blood trail on the carpet, and no one seems to care or be the slightest bit concerned.

** Also, in "Blood Money" they are fairly *ahem* unceremonious with the bodies of their dead buddies. The standard treatment is bag and tag in a black body bag and then *drag* said body bag across the floor, up stairs, through water, past civilians, sometimes leaving a blood trail on the carpet, and no one seems to care or be the slightest bit concerned.

** Anyone also notice that, except for a few rare occasions, they never do something like, say, call for backup? Dial 999 even? Granted the leader of the Triads living in his remote mountain castle is hardly going to put a call into the police (even if they were in his pocket) but when the guards find 6 bodies littering the lobby at the casino? Nope...

** And they down upon contact with water. Even if they were just swimming in it earlier.

* In ''[[Dark Messiah of Might and Magic|Dark Messiah]]'' lots of guards fall under this trope, they stand around near obvious hazards such as a wall about to collapse, when fighting the hero they stand close to spikes, pits, fires which they can easily be kicked into and they don't bother checking for traps ~~infront~~ of them when they spot the player, leading to a line of guards getting killed by the same trap.

* In ''[[Dark Messiah of Might and Magic|Dark Messiah]]'' lots of guards fall under this trope, they stand around near obvious hazards such as a wall about to collapse, when fighting the hero they stand close to spikes, pits, fires which they can easily be kicked into and they don't bother checking for traps in front of them when they spot the player, leading to a line of guards getting killed by the same trap.

* Possibly invoked by the party in ''[[Knights of the Old Republic (video game)|Knights of the Old Republic]]'', when captured on the ''Leviathan''. Several of the schemes floated to break your crew out of the ship's prison involve ''making'' the guards crazy, including Jolee's (which uses a [[Jedi Mind Trick]] on them) and Mission's (which involves [[I Shall Taunt You|good old-fashioned ~~headgames~~]]). On the other hand, ''three'' of these plans involve the "it's probably nothing" ploy: you can convince the Sith to take a "dead" body, "disabled" droid, or perfectly functional but "harmless" astromech into their ship. Juhani's plan is the only one that doesn't count, because [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot|Jedi ninja catgirl]] response drills are probably few and far between.

* Possibly invoked by the party in ''[[Knights of the Old Republic (video game)|Knights of the Old Republic]]'', when captured on the ''Leviathan''. Several of the schemes floated to break your crew out of the ship's prison involve ''making'' the guards crazy, including Jolee's (which uses a [[Jedi Mind Trick]] on them) and Mission's (which involves [[I Shall Taunt You|good old-fashioned head games]]). On the other hand, ''three'' of these plans involve the "it's probably nothing" ploy: you can convince the Sith to take a "dead" body, "disabled" droid, or perfectly functional but "harmless" astromech into their ship. Juhani's plan is the only one that doesn't count, because [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot|Jedi ninja catgirl]] response drills are probably few and far between.

* In ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean]]: Dead Man's Chest'', the guards everywhere are very nice about only attacking you one at a time and not noticing what's going on around them.

* In ''[[Dubloon]]'', a map important to finding a sea serpent is on an island tightly guarded by the Navi, so what does the player's crew do? Why, send in their [[Team Pet]] that guards don't even suspect for ''anything''. One of them even ''tells'' him the location of where the key to the house is hidden.

* Subverted in the first ''[[Call of Duty]]'' game. In one of the missions of the British campaign, Cpt. Price and Sgt. Evans (the player) are given the task to sabotage the German battleship ''Tirpitz'' from inside, and in order to do that they've to kill two German seamen on shore and take their uniforms. Once they arrives to the ship, they were allowed onboard thanks to Cpt. Price's ~~fluenty~~ ~~german~~, but when they arrives to the armory, one of the guards stationed outside is suspicious of them (likely due to Cpt. Price's lack of German accent) and ~~phonecall~~ the command about ~~Cpt.~~ Price's false ID-card to see if it's realible. Their covers soon about to be blow up, Cpt. Price shoots the guards, and cue to an firefight.

* Subverted in the first ''[[Call of Duty]]'' game. In one of the missions of the British campaign, Cpt. Price and Sgt. Evans (the player) are given the task to sabotage the German battleship ''Tirpitz'' from inside, and in order to do that they've to kill two German seamen on shore and take their uniforms. Once they arrives to the ship, they were allowed onboard thanks to Cpt. Price's fluent German, but when they arrives to the armory, one of the guards stationed outside is suspicious of them (likely due to Cpt. Price's lack of German accent) and phone call the command about Captain Price's false ID-card to see if it's realible. Their covers soon about to be blow up, Cpt. Price shoots the guards, and cue to an firefight.

* In the first ''[[Commandos]]'' game some of the levels had prisons. If one of your men was spotted then he would be held at gunpoint, and as long as he didn't move or perform an offensive action then he would eventually be marched off to the jail where his buddies could later break him out (or, more likely, you could just [[Save Scumming|reload]]). However, in maps with no jail the lone guards would [[Artificial Stupidity|never, ever fire]] on one of your men as long as he remained perfectly still, and only the arrival of a patrol would cause them to shoot. If there were no patrols nearby then you have a man crawl to a chosen spot and then suddenly stand up, ensuring that a guard spotted him and stood there with his cone of vision fixated on the one spot. Any other guards that could see the commando or another alerted guard would join in, potentially causing a chain reaction where dozens of enemies would converge and look towards one point. If your squad's brave volunteer was carefully positioned then it was fairly trivial for another squad member to then methodically stab everyone whilst they were distracted. This troper called this the 'Sniper tactic', since the Sniper was the most [[What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?|useless squad member]], making him an ideal candidate for the job.

== Web Comics ==

* This is a running gag in ''[[Exiern]]'', starting from [http://www.exiern.com/?p=23 here] and getting [http://www.exiern.com/?p=56 worse], with the various guardsmen falling for almost every single trick listed above at some point throughout the strip.

{{quote|Tiffany: So that is the only key to the cell?

{{quote|'''Tiffany:''' So that is the only key to the cell?

[[Mauve Shirt|Guard]]: Yes Ma'am.

'''[[Mauve Shirt|Guard]]:''' Yes Ma'am.

Tiffany: I am going going to need to hang on to that.

'''Tiffany:''' I am going going to need to hang on to that.

Guard: Wait you can't take the key. What if he gets sick and I need to check on him.

'''Guard:''' Wait you can't take the key. What if he gets sick and I need to check on him.

[[Beat Panel]]

Tiffany: And that is why you are not allowed to keep the key. }}

'''Tiffany:''' And that is why you are not allowed to keep the key. }}

* And of course, ''[[El Goonish Shive]]'' has an example: even by the ridiculously low standards of this page, Guineas [//www.egscomics.com/?date=2004-03-08 FAIL]. He doesn't like his boss and is not very motivated, though, to the point of constantly [[Obfuscating Stupidity|playing dumb]] to lower expectations and shirk the work.

** PTTAPUTASF guards have open windows - with lights on, various dangerous magic toys and things like a huge diamond lying in the open like in a museum, but without as much as a working alarm, and react only when a fight breaks in the storage. Might or might not have been mentally manipulated, though.

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* Spoofed in ''[[The Adventures of Dr. McNinja]]'', where in one strip the good doctor attempts to disguise himself as a guard, ''[[Highly-Visible Ninja|but leaves his mask on]]''. [https://web.archive.org/web/20090426053738/http://drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=16&issue=1 The guards catch on immediately].

* Averted in ''[[Goblins]]'' [http://www.goblinscomic.com/11272006/ here]: the titular goblins try to sneak into the city and ''random low level town guards'' have enough sense to both check where the rock came from and summon help, resulting in a city riot about an army of goblins hiding in the sewers.

* ''[[The ~~Order of the Stick|~~Order of the Stick]]'' pulls this several times:

* ''[[The Order of the Stick]]'' pulls this several times:

** In the prequel book ''On the Origin of PCs'', Haley breaks in to a building to steal a large diamond. She accidentally wakes the guard up, but he buys her story that she is just a rather Freudian dream.

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== Web Original ==

* In episode 8 of [[Code MENT]], Lelouch/One spends about a minute and half firing roughly 70 bullets from a pistol [[Bottomless Magazines|without reloading]]. The two guards outside the room casually converse over and throughout the clearly audible gunfire. [[Crowning Moment of Funny|They then kick the door in and rush in guns blazing when they are alarmed by Lelouch's cough]].

* In episode 8 of ''[[Code MENT]]'', Lelouch/One spends about a minute and half firing roughly 70 bullets from a pistol [[Bottomless Magazines|without reloading]]. The two guards outside the room casually converse over and throughout the clearly audible gunfire. [[Crowning Moment of Funny|They then kick the door in and rush in guns blazing when they are alarmed by Lelouch's cough]].

* The LifesBlood Labs goons in ''[[LG15: the resistance]]'' are pretty incompetent. The "Mace in Yo Face!" and "Done Dirt Cheap" incidents are particularly shameful.

** Although the "Mace in Yo Face" incident is justified because {{spoiler|those weren't real LBL henchmen}}.

* The [[Evil Overlord List]] has all sorts of tips on how to turn the guards from this sort of behaviour and turn them into a ruthless fighting force prepared to guard anything anytime.

* In ''[[Clear Skies]] 2'', the team are able to spring an informant from a prison outpost (admittedly, a very backwater one) by posing as guards for a prisoner transfer. It works, despite their credentials being stolen and very, ''very'' out of date, because the local guard was expecting a prisoner transfer at around that time. He gets chewed out later.

* The ''[[How It Should Have Ended]]'''s ''[[Assassin's Creed]]'' [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VaTBklX408 parody].

* The ''[[How It Should Have Ended]]''{{'}}s ''[[Assassin's Creed]]'' [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VaTBklX408 parody].

* In the animation ''Guard'' by Birdbox Studio, the protagonist leaves his post to get his helmet.

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* Used, played with, subverted and lampshaded frequently in ''[[The Venture Brothers]]'', most often through the misadventures of Number 21 and Number 24, [[Those Two Guys|two guards]] who [[Mauve Shirt|somehow manage to survive the carnage of the series]], and give plausible voice to the wit and social skills necessary for career henchmen.

* Subverted in the ''[[Gummi Bears]]'' episode when trolls are holding the Gummi hostage in Gummi Glen, to force the colony to recover a treasure hidden in a tree they uprooted and put in Castle Dunwin. Unfortunately, when Gummis get to the tree they find it empty, because the castle guards were apparently smart enough to discover the treasure and moved it to the castle treasury.

* Used and slightly lampshaded in an episode of ''[[DuckTales (1987)]]'' where Huey, Dewey, and Louie are imprisoned in a room with a guard looking in at them once every hour or so. While two of the identical triplets work on the means of their escape, the third one sits in front of a trifold mirror, giving the impression—sort of—that there are three boys sitting there. Lampshaded in that one of the boys asks whether the guard won't notice that they're all wearing the same clothes, only to be told by the one devising the plan that "he's so tired, he's not going to care WHAT we're wearing, just so long as there's three of us." Improbably, this turns out to be true.

* Used and slightly lampshaded in an episode of ''[[DuckTales (1987)|DuckTales]]'' where Huey, Dewey, and Louie are imprisoned in a room with a guard looking in at them once every hour or so. While two of the identical triplets work on the means of their escape, the third one sits in front of a trifold mirror, giving the impression—sort of—that there are three boys sitting there. Lampshaded in that one of the boys asks whether the guard won't notice that they're all wearing the same clothes, only to be told by the one devising the plan that "he's so tired, he's not going to care WHAT we're wearing, just so long as there's three of us." Improbably, this turns out to be true.

* The Trope was played with in ''[[Stroker and Hoop]]'', when Stroker has to knock a guard out to get deeper into a complex. After [[Dressing as the Enemy|dressing as the guard]], he gets into the next room where the guard is seemingly fooled by Stroker holding a clipboard over his face and using a bad falsetto... until he starts to continue, at which point the guard asks him if he thinks he's an idiot, and that he was on the monitor. To which Stroker asks if he's even supposed to be watching the monitors.

* In the ''[[Earthworm Jim (animation)|Earthworm Jim]]'' episode "Conqueror Worm", Jim, Peter, and Snot have to get Jim's supersuit back from the labs where it was put after Jim was arrested, ([[It Makes Sense in Context]]) but first have to get past the security guards!... Which they stroll right past. The sight of a giant worm, talking dog, and living booger spurs only one reaction from the guards.

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** There's a bit of [[Fridge Horror]] regarding how Sokka was able to get alone time with Suki. She almost seems like she was ''expecting'' a random guard to come in and try kissing her. Maybe the male guards don't date the female ones because [[Prison Rape|they can get satisfaction somewhere else...]]

* Parodied in ''[[Family Guy]]'', where one of Peter's [[Manatee Gag]]s has him claiming it is easier to escape from Canada's Alcatraz. Cue the scene where an inmate simply walks up to a guard and asks if he can leave through this door. The guard simply says sure, just be back before bedtime, and letting the inmate leave.

== Real Life ==

* [[Escape from Alcatraz|Alcatraz's]] guards were fooled by one oldest trick in the book after another: dummy heads in the bed, [[Locking MacGyver in the Store Cupboard|digging a hole with spoons]], and climbing up the [[Air Vent Passageway|ventilator shaft]], making this trope not only [[Genre Blindness]] but [[Truth in Television]]. Since the Alcatraz escape was done ~~some years~~ ago, it might be [[Seinfeld Is Unfunny]] too.

* [[Escape from Alcatraz|Alcatraz's]] guards were fooled by one oldest trick in the book after another: dummy heads in the bed, [[Locking MacGyver in the Store Cupboard|digging a hole with spoons]], and climbing up the [[Air Vent Passageway|ventilator shaft]], making this trope not only [[Genre Blindness]] but [[Truth in Television]]. Since the Alcatraz escape was done decades ago, it might be [[Seinfeld Is Unfunny]] too.

** To say nothing of [[It Only Works Once]]...

** Thing is, this isn't a bad escape plan, which is why it worked. Basically it relies on the fact that it simply isn't practical to monitor prisoners ~~TOO~~ closely, so if you're clever enough... plus, after this happened I suspect it became a lot more popularized anyway.

** Thing is, this isn't a bad escape plan, which is why it worked. Basically it relies on the fact that it simply isn't practical to monitor prisoners ''too'' closely, so if you're clever enough... plus, after this happened I suspect it became a lot more popularized anyway.

** The Guards were also relying on San Francisco bay's freezing, and [[Everything's Even Worse with Sharks|Great White]] ''infested'', water doing the hard work for them. Which may have happened.

*** Exactly one prisoner who escaped from Alcatraz Island is confirmed as having survived the swim to shore—and he was immediately recaptured on the beach. Alcatraz was considered 'inescapable' not because of the quality of the guards or the building, but because even if you could get out of the prison you'd pretty much need to be Superman to get off the island.

*** Exactly one prisoner who escaped from Alcatraz Island is confirmed as having survived the swim to shore—and he was immediately recaptured on the beach. Alcatraz was considered "inescapable" not because of the quality of the guards or the building, but because even if you could get out of the prison you'd pretty much need to be Superman to get off the island.

* [[Truth in Television]]: A convict in a US prison was able to escape by dressing up as a guard, because the guards were more familiar with the prisoners than each other.

** There has also been at least one case where an accomplice faxed realistic-looking release papers from a nearby McDonald's fax machine, resulting in a convict walking out scot-free, without anyone thinking about double-checking even the clearly visible fax-number.

** During the [[Cold War]] a couple of East Germans made their own uniforms mimicking those of the East German Guards and simply saluted the guards on duty, then walked through the checkpoint to West Berlin.

* There is a [[Ninja]] technique, the name of which translates as "throwing the toothpick", to distract guards. To be fair, if it's done properly, the guards never see ''anything'', they just hear a sound.

* During World War 2, there were plenty of stories of people hiding in basements from the Nazis and not being captured. (Nazi troops invading other countries were ordered to kill any ~~jews~~ they saw but many didn't because it wasted bullets and took too much time.)

* During World War 2, there were plenty of stories of people hiding in basements from the Nazis and not being captured. (Nazi troops invading other countries were ordered to kill any Jews they saw but many didn't because it wasted bullets and took too much time.)

* Recently in Germany, an inmate managed to get out of prison by climbing into a cardboard box and getting shipped out. Apparently no-one checked to see all the prisoners working that detail came back or why the package was unusually heavy.

* In 1982, [[wikipedia:Michael Fagan incident|an unhinged man climbed the wall of Buckingham palace.]] Someone saw him and reported it, but by the time guards came to look, he was gone and they decided he must have left already; they raised no alarm. When he went through a window, the security system alerted a policeman on duty, who assumed it was a malfunction and '''silenced the alarm twice in a row'''. Wandering through the halls, he passed a housekeeper, who '''greeted him'''. He eventually made it to the Queen's chamber, where she was sleeping unguarded, woke her up, and chatted to her as she tried to get help by two different methods (a button and the phone); nobody came for ten minutes. As Hollywood writer [[William Goldman]] said it, if you would put this in a movie, people probably would throw rotten eggs at the screen for breaking their [[Suspension of Disbelief]].

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* A notable aversion [http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Packers-linebacker-forgets-ID-can-t-get-into-Wh?urn=nfl-wp5018 when the Green Bay Packers went to the White House to be congratulated] on their [[Super Bowl]] Victory in 2011. Linebacker Desmond Bishop lost his photo ID on the plane and was thus denied entry to the White House. Before you say "But he was on national television in the Super Bowl! He was with his team! How could they deny him entry?!!?", remember how often in fiction the "lost my ID" ruse works - and it works in [[Real Life]] too, due to this trope - and obviously no place should have better security than than the headquarters. So good job, guards!

** As noted above, the Obama administration has already had three unauthorized entries to the White House. It's already crazy security didn't get tighter after the first incident, let alone the fourth.

* In 1987 a 18 year old West German aviator named Mathias Rust managed to fly straight through several supposedly impregnable layers of Soviet air-defense systems and land his Cessna [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TXIGfL2iFw near the center of Red Square]. What made this worse was that he was spotted on several occasions by air defense crews and interceptors, but most of them either assumed he was friendly, thought he had crashed shortly afterwords, or otherwise failed to gain permission to shoot him down. The event ended up irreparably damaging the ~~credibitly~~ of the Soviet military and led to the firing of many senior officers.

* In 1987 a 18-year-old West German aviator named Mathias Rust managed to fly straight through several supposedly impregnable layers of Soviet air-defense systems and land his Cessna [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TXIGfL2iFw near the center of Red Square]. What made this worse was that he was spotted on several occasions by air defense crews and interceptors, but most of them either assumed he was friendly, thought he had crashed shortly afterwords, or otherwise failed to gain permission to shoot him down. The event ended up irreparably damaging the credibility of the Soviet military and led to the firing of many senior officers.

** In one regard, he was either brilliant or very lucky: his aircraft was so small that radar registered him as a helicopter.

** He was incredibly lucky several times; one air-defense battery asked for permission to shoot him down but bureaucratic delays left them with no answer until he'd already vanished off their scopes, another one mistook him for a Soviet air force training flight, and a third mistook him for one of several rescue helicopters responding to a forest fire.

* [http://www.cracked.com/article_19219_the-7-craziest-things-ever-done-to-get-laid.html Czechoslovakian hairdresser-turned-soldier-turned-Nazi-POW Horace Greasley] repeatedly broke out of the POW camp he was transferred to so he could have sex with his previous camp's quarry director's daughter. And then ~~snuck~~ ''back into his current POW camp'' as if nothing happened. '''''He did this three times a week for five years.''''' Then the war ended and he was set free.

* [http://www.cracked.com/article_19219_the-7-craziest-things-ever-done-to-get-laid.html Czechoslovakian hairdresser-turned-soldier-turned-Nazi-POW Horace Greasley] repeatedly broke out of the POW camp he was transferred to so he could have sex with his previous camp's quarry director's daughter. And then sneaked ''back into his current POW camp'' as if nothing happened. '''''He did this three times a week for five years.''''' Then the war ended and he was set free.