The Muppet Christmas Carol/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Ebenezer Scrooge: How would the bookkeepers like to be suddenly...UNEMPLOYED?!
Rats: [singing] HEAT WAVE! Oi! This is my island in the sun... Oi, oi!

    • As well as this line when the bookkeeping Rats applaud Fred

Scrooge: And how does one celebrate Christmas ON THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE?!?

  • Most of the scenes with Gonzo and Rizzo tend to leave audiences roaring in laughter.

"Light the lamp, not the rat, light the lamp nottherat!"

  • Another one with Gonzo and Rizzo, with Rizzo about to jump off the top of a gate:

Rizzo: "God bless my little broken body. AAAAAAAAAAAA- *thud* (glares at Gonzo, who was supposed to catch him)
Gonzo: Missed.
Rizzo: Ugh... ooh, ooh, wait second--I forgot my jellybeans! (climbs through the fence he'd just fell from the top of)
Gonzo: ...you can fit under those bars?
Rizzo: Yeah...
Gonzo: You are such an idiot.

  • Right before that...

Rizzo: Jelly bean? I had 'em in my pocket all along.
Gonzo: (groans)
Rizzo: What? (awkward pause...then he leans in and quickly kisses Gonzo's nose.)

  • Rizzo expresses concern that part of this film could be too scary for kids. Gonzo replies cheerily, "Nah, it's all right, this is culture!"
  • What can I say, I love puns:

Scrooge: You're a little absent-minded, Spirit.
Christmas Present: No, I'm a large absent-minded Spirit!

    • That comes directly from the Dickens story.
    • And I love that Statler and Waldorf, er, the Marleys are happy to heckle Dickens' writing itself.

Scrooge: Yes. There's more gravy than of grave about you.
Robert Marley: More gravy than of grave?
Jacob Marley: What a terrible pun. Where'd you get those jokes?
Robert Marley: Leave comedy to the bears, Ebenezer.

  • Scrooge visiting the Cratchits at the end and Miss Piggy's brilliant Double Take.

Scrooge: Therefore I am about to raise your salary.
Emily/Miss Piggy: OOOHH! And I am about to raise you right off the pavement...pardon?

  • When the Ghost Of Christmas Present takes Scrooge to his nephew Fred's house, Rizzo takes notice of a bowl of fruit and starts eating. Soon...

Gonzo: You know, that's wax.
Rizzo: Oh, yeah... I wondered about the texture... (Starts spitting)

  • This hilarious Call Back when Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Past visit Fezziwig's annual Christmas ball.

/Fezziwig/Fozzie: At this time, it's a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Jacob Marley/Statler: And it's a tradition of ours to take a little nap!
Fezziwig/Fozzie: (As everyone laughs) Pay no attention to them! (takes out a paper) Here is the speech; "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas!"
Jacob/Statler: That was the speech?
Robert Marley/Waldorf: It was dumb!
Jacob/Statler: It was obvious!
Robert/Waldorf: It was pointless!
Jacob/Statler: It was...short.
Beat
Marleys: I loved it!

    • Fezziwig is called Fozziewig in this adaptation.
  • Gonzo uses Rizzo to wipe the soot off a window, to which Rizzo says "Thank you for making me a part of this."
  • The part where Gonzo gets knocked off a carriage, and Rizzo's all concerned for him before he wakes up and continues his narration has this troper and her mother rolling every time we watch it.

Rizzo: Gonzo speak to me! I mean uh... Mr. Dickens! Charlie! Are ya hurt? (Gonzo sits up)
Gonzo: To say that Scrooge was not startled would be untrue. Still, the moment had passed and the world was as it should be.
Rizzo: He ain't hurt. Didn't even break his concentration!
Gonzo: Hm?
Rizzo: Nuttin.

  • During the Christmas past section, Gonzo and Rizzo are watching a lonely looking young Scrooge.

Rizzo: (sighs) Rats don't understand these things.
Gonzo: You were never a lonely child?
Rizzo: I had twelve hundred and seventy four brothers and sisters!
Gonzo: Geesh, rats don't understand these things.

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