The Rachel Maddow Show (TV)/Funny

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• Says Rachel of what she will do to you if you "get lemon juice from anything other than a piece of fruit" while mixing a drink:

Rachel: ...I will hide under your bed at night and grab your ankles when you wake up in the morning and terrify you forever. In my other life, I'm a goblin.

• Her reaction to Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal's rebuttal to Barack Obama's 2009 State of the Union address:

"Um. Ehh...ummm. Uh buh buh... [...] I know I'm paid to talk for a living. I am incapable of doing what I'm paid to do right now. I'm absolutely stunned."

• Rachel is "accused" of being a Lesbian Vampire. Her response? "Oh no! They're onto me!"